How girly are you?

[Tiffanie]

So this is aimed at MtF (duh)

Before I started my transition I told my wife and the few others who knew what I was doing that I was not going to be a girly girl.  I figured I would be closer to tomboy but with a more feminine side.

Well ...  Once estrogen started her work on my brain (and I let go of the facade that protected me for so many years) I find I am very girly.  The girly girls at work (most knew me before transition) consider me one of them and I am enjoying being a part of that culture.

I used to tease my wife (friendly tease) about her being emotional enough to cry at emotional TV shows or movies ... now I burst into tears faster than she does ... ... and she is enjoying the payback for all my teasing.

This is not a complaint, but I am surprised by how much farther to the feminine / emotional end of the spectrum I moved.  Have you been surprised by anything you encountered during transition?

[suzifrommd]

Oh, yes, Tiffie. As a male, I never understood jewelry, make up, shopping, clothes, etc. Seemed an unnecessarily stressor.

Suddenly, I LOVE shopping, love my jewelry, love putting together my "look". Took me totally by surprise.

Had nothing to do with HRT. The change started when I started presenting female part time, long before my first estradiol. It had to do with valuing my own looks, and wanting to "be seen", something I didn't start doing until I started seeing myself as female.

[Tiffanie]

I learned a lot about makeup as a teen by asking my sister as she got ready for work ... she says she never suspected why I asked.  I also played with Pam's (my wife) or very rare occasion when she was at work.  I knew I would need to use it to minimize my masculine features ... but I actually became one of those, "I can't go to the store.  I just took my makeup off" type girls.

I like shopping but hate the crowds and the closed in feeling at stores.  I LOVE shoes and purses; I did not expect that.

I started HRT several months before even coming out to most people.  The story about coming out is long, but I basically came out at work as was full time in 2 days.  And coming out was necessary because some of the estrogen effects were becoming obvious.

I cannot explain how happy I am to be girly.

My female manager who has known me for 20+ years told me that I am more girly than most of the women she knows.   

[Ms Grace]

I don't think I'm girly but I do think I'm feminine, it might be splitting hairs but I'm not interested in lots of make up or jewellery or high heels or girly clothes but I do always want to ensure that I present unmistakably as female. And yet I love shopping for clothes and shoes. I love wearing a bit of makeup and jewellery. I think my mannerisms now are just who I was before but much less muted - when I was a guy I was constantly checking my behaviour or expression lest it be interpreted as "effeminate" or "gay", no doubt people figured I was gay anyway. I was never much of a "guy" - did the minimum oF what I believed was expected of me as a "man" in society. So I love wearing dresses and skirts but I don't see myself as girls, I love jeans and shorts too. I love to dress modestly and simply but gorgeous. I see myself as feminine rather than girly.

[Felicity R]

I guess it depends on your definition of girly. I had a number of friends in high school who used to joke that I was the "gayest straight guy" they knew. Joke was on them seeing as how I am both trans and attracted to men 

They'd mostly say this because I've always been very feminine in some of my mannerisms. I don't know that I would classify myself as a stereotypical girly girl, but I've had to regularly stop myself and remember to act more "manly" in places like one of my jobs (as I have yet to transition publicly). I find that I tend to be more girly and act more like myself around people who I know well and am comfortable around which is mostly around really close friends.

The funny thing is, most people who have only met me in passing or in professional circumstances would probably describe me as that quiet, stern guy. Close friends on the other hand would probably say I'm that bubbly, nerdy person who won't stop talking about Disney, video games and Broadway.

When I actually have the time, I could spend hours messing around with makeup and clothing. Sadly, I rarely have to opportunity to do so right now.

[Tiffanie]

There is a line between feminine and girly, and it is likely different for everyone.

I always knew I would wear makeup to minimize my masculine features ... I never expected that I would go nuts in the cosmetics department and own more makeup than my wife.

I am drawn toward the semi-frilly and colorful clothing than I thought I would be rather than something that is simple but still feminine.

Shoes and purses ... this is almost an addiction.  I figured I'd have my basic stuff and maybe get something different as I needed it.

Emotions - This is as much about not hiding who I am as it is about estrogen, but I am still much more emotional than I thought even possible.

[Marly]

oh dear!  help me!! 

I already have more heels than loafers. When HRT starts doin it's thing, look out. I've always loved shopping. What I'm short on is jewelry...but was out looking at necklaces today. I guess I'm pretty girly.

[Dena]

I guess I am not very girly. I like the simple clean look and business formal. Part of the reason is because of my size, stuff isn't cheap. The good stuff will last a long time so it needs to always be in fashion. Because I work with industrial rental property, my day wear needs to work with swapping out a water heater or fixing a toilet. This results in really dressing down and having something on standby when you want to go some place other than Home Depot. My neighbor is on my case about this but when I get home, i really don't feel like going through the trouble of dressing up just to go over there and watch her smoke while we talk. On top of that, she is petite and what works for her would look silly on me.

[Tiffanie]

   Dana - I wasn't implying that girly was important, or that not doing things "this way" is not girly.  You are doing what works for you and that is wonderful 

My initial point was more that I never thought I would go over the super girly border, but it happened to my complete surprise.  With my size (very overweight and 5' 10") I cannot get away with the miniskirt and crop top look    Even if I could I would not feel comfortable there.

And my concept of girly is nothing like my 22 year old niece's view on the same subject.

[Ms Grace]

I'm not that into frilly stuff (except maybe knickers!) but I do like strong bold patterns and colours, I'm not averse to pink in moderation but really love purple. When I wore a dark purple floral dress to work one day in my first couple of weeks going full time one of the woman I'd known for more than ten years said to me "flowers...who would have guessed?" - the guy clothes I used to wear were always very dull, basic, drab and plain. Certainly I dress quite differently now in terms of colours and designs, feminine but not girly.

[Marly]

I'm not that into frilly stuff (except maybe knickers!) but I do like strong bold patterns and colours, I'm not averse to pink in moderation but really love purple. When I wore a dark purple floral dress to work one day in my first couple of weeks going full time one of the woman I'd known for more than ten years said to me "flowers...who would have guessed?" - the guy clothes I used to wear were always very dull, basic, drab and plain. Certainly I dress quite differently now in terms of colours and designs, feminine but not girly.

MsGrace..I guess this is a good place to write this. Your avatar..the top or dress, I've been groovin on it for weeks..very Pretty!

[Dena]

  Dana - I wasn't implying that girly was important, or that not doing things "this way" is not girly.  You are doing what works for you and that is wonderful 

My initial point was more that I never thought I would go over the super girly border, but it happened to my complete surprise.  With my size (very overweight and 5' 10") I cannot get away with the miniskirt and crop top look    Even if I could I would not feel comfortable there.

And my concept of girly is nothing like my 22 year old niece's view on the same subject.

No offense taken, just an honest assessment of what works for me at 5'14". My picture is one of the newest ones I was able to dig up and at that it's about 25 years old taken a few years after my surgery. I need to drop about 15 pounds to get back to a weight of 170 pounds (which I am doing) and I only have a few more wrinkles but the picture is still pretty close to what I am now.
I was fortunate that my mom gave me much of what I had for christmas and between her taste and my taste I have had some real professional appearing clothes over the years. We all go into this with the hopes we can look like movie stars in really sexy clothes but that turns out to be the fastest way of getting picked out of a crowd. If it looks like you stepped out of a law office, you don't look out of place and you look good. Maybe a bit conservative for some taste but it works. I am also not sure I could get away with a mid length mini skirt. I have nice long legs but they might draw to much attention resulting in my flaws being uncovered. 

[Ms Grace]

MsGrace..I guess this is a good place to write this. Your avatar..the top or dress, I've been groovin on it for weeks..very Pretty!

Thanks! It's gorgeous isn't it? I got it from a new agey shop in Australia called Tree of Life. They have some lovely stuff - sadly for me most of it is designed for size 8 girls with pencil thin hips and huge breasts!

[Lady Smith]

I'm not girly in that my idea of makeup if I wear it at all is moisturiser and lipstick, I prefer unisex clothing and I like wearing boots over shoes.  When I was still riding motorcycles a lot I wore fingerless gloves and silver rings and bead and feather earrings.  For a more femme look I will wear long denim skirts and a long sleeved top with a jacket of some kind.  I like solid colour leggings in either green, grey or black. I don't wear sheer stockings.

When I was transitioning I went through a stage of wanting to wear pink and I tried out makeup and femme hairstyles.  I had a floral pattern clothing stage too, but eventually found myself to be most comfortable in femme unisex clothing.  'Femme' meaning I buy unisex clothing intended for women and I don't wear anything intended for men.