caitlyn jenner and transphobia ramblings

[synesthetic]

okay, so i'm so proud of caitlyn jenner. i seriously love her to bits and i think she's so brave, strong, and lovely.

but i decided to torture myself by reading some transphobic comments (i know, i should never do that) and now i feel like my chest is caving in.

even with people like her being so inspiring and promoting equality/acceptance of trans people, there's still so much ignorance in the world. and it hurts. seeing some of these comments makes me wish i'd never realized i was trans, and i don't want to make this about myself but it just feels so hard exist as a transgender person sometimes. i wish i had half her strength, but i just don't.

the world is still so far behind and it physically hurts. i see people dropping the t-slur and i see intentional misgendering, i hear laughter and hatred and it makes me realize how broken and twisted society is.

i'm so proud of caitlyn, and i love how much support she's been getting, but the negative comments (even though they're not aimed at me!) just hurt so badly.

i wish that we could just exist without judgment and transphobia. (and, i wish i was half as fabulous as caitlyn)

[kittenpower]

The peanut gallery will always exist, some people are raised in a hateful environment, and it's going to take a lot of time and education to end the cycle.

[stephaniec]

there are people that use any excuse no matter how trivial to make fun of people. When I was a kid they made fun of me for crying all the time , as a teenager I had severe acne , made fun of for that. A person I knew and never said a mean thing to or about one day came up to me and made fun of my acne. not too long ago at a job I had again been the object of fun of ridiculing someone with acne scars. It's a problem with all cultures. There are those that always make comments about others. You can't let your life be run by what others think.

[CarlyMcx]

It may seem like there are a lot of haters, but the reality is, they are a small but very vocal minority.  Sixteen years ago when I thought I was a cis guy, I fell in love with a beautiful girl from the Philippines.  When I arrived there to see her, the first person I met from her family was her cousin -- who happened to be a beautiful, five foot ten inch tall, MTF transgender.  By circumstance, I spent the better part of a day running around the city of Manila in her company, trying to track down the girl I was going to marry.  (We missed her at the ferry landing).  Yes, there were catcalls and some teasing, directed at me as well as her.

I had been bullied all my life for being a small and effeminate guy, so i just didn't let it get to me.   So what if those guys thought the crazy American had a transgender girlfriend.  It was none of their business anyway.

Long story short, I met my beautiful girl, later married her, and also found out that her youngest brother is gay.  And one of her best friends is, and he comes to our parties all the time.

And last year I had to finally admit to myself that I am not as cisgender as I once thought I was.

But because I am 52, and lived most of my life as a cisgender male, I can tell you that I have seen sweeping changes in society.  Huge progress has been made.

This is easily as big as MLK's "I have a dream" speech.

Don't let the haters get to you.  They are irrelevant.  This is our moment.

[synesthetic]

thank you all.
sorry for being a bit of a downer, just hard to keep my focus off of the haters sometimes.
<3

[Jill F]

The majority of these comments are made by the dregs of society that have nothing better to do than troll the internet all day long.   I'm thinking unemployable losers that live in their parents' basements amongst bongwater stained rugs, stacks of questionable pornography and unlaundered spank socks.

In other words, not a representative sample of society.

Rule #1: Don't read the comments.
Rule #2: DON'T READ THE COMMENTS!

[Laura_Squirrel]

Meh. The hell with the wankers that make those types of comments. I just hope that the karmic wheel rolls over them and crushes them to dust.

[suzifrommd]

synesthetic, look at it this way: There are so few such nuts in the world that the only way they can find validation is by trolling Internet comments.

[Picklehorse]

I don't read them often, but when I do I focus on the more enlightened, supportive comment and they give me hope.

[Maddy_Aya_W.]

I never really even knew who Bruce Jenner was, until he came out as trans. Now, as Caitlyn, she is becoming a huge inspiration to me. True, tons of people are still twisted on the topic of being trans. There are still tons of misconceptions, but there are also tons of people who accept trans people, and understand that it's a struggle for us. I gained some mad respect for Vanity Fair today, they are on the side that inevitably will win. We just have to stay strong, and true to ourselves. Caitlyn is in the public eye, and is helping us all win our own personal battles. Haters gonna hate, it's what they do. Personally, I think it comes from them having their own issues that they are afraid to face. Whatever they may be, these people are just jealous. At least that's what I think.

~Maddy

[Rachel]

I hope Kaitlyn Jenner does right by the community and is received well by the press.

Open minded independent people will make up their own minds when presented with the facts. Sheep will follow the crowd.

[iKate]

I'm not so sure it's the fringes of society that are nasty and transphobic to be honest. I know it's nice to think people are accepting us but today I got a huge reality check.

Today I was walking down the street in midtown and I spotted two guys holding hands in an obviously affectionate manner. They passed by a school and the kids outside started pointing and laughing loudly and commented about "why the f*gs gotta be holding hands." This wasn't "the ghetto" part of town. This was midtown and the school was a specialized school with competitive admissions. This means that the kids attending are above average.

So I'm cautiously optimistic. To be honest I really don't like the idea of making a big splash, especially associated with the kardashian clan. I like stories like Lynn Conway who are ordinary people who made significant contributions to the well being of society. Sure, Jenner was an athlete who achieved greatness but lately she's known more for gossip than anything else.

[Contravene]

She's just some D-list celebrity I would rather see acceptance and understanding from everyday people who aren't in the spotlight.

Being that she's in the spotlight, controversy is always going to surround her no matter the subject. It's no surprise that transphobes are gravitating towards her and using the comment sections of stories about her to post their transphobic ramblings. They just crawl out of the woodwork when they want to make themselves heard, they hardly represent the majority.

[Garry]

The majority of these comments are made by the dregs of society that have nothing better to do than troll the internet all day long.   I'm thinking unemployable losers that live in their parents' basements amongst bongwater stained rugs, stacks of questionable pornography and unlaundered spank socks.

This. Their lives must be very sad if all they have to do is comment on things they have no clue about for the sole purpose of bigotry. Kinda like bullies and them having problems with themselves, I think its the same thing here. They must have problems with themselves so they take it out on others. Especially when they can do it hiding behind a computer screen under a fake persona. If they were face to face with a trans person I highly doubt they would have the guts to say a word of what they spew online. They are disgusting trolls plain and simple

I have seen a vast majority of positive comments though regarding Caitlyn. The only bad I've seen are on yahoo. That place is infested with trolls, bigots and the lowest form of life in society with nothing better to do with their life. If there is ever comments not to read, its yahoo's. Its the breeding ground of the bigot

I think she has been very well received though. We are making progress its just very slow and comments from bigots pull us down again to feel as if we arent progressing but we are. There are less of those type of comments now than there would have been before. They will always exist however far we go cause there is no getting away from this type of person. Look how far things have come with the gay community, it was illegal to be gay and an abomination. Now its like 'so what'. No one really cares anymore on the whole. Its just the minority who keep making a big deal out of it and spewing hatred. They will always exist, their voices will just become tuned out more as they become extinguished

It is important that things like this happen in the spotlight for more people to understand. If we all just did it in the shadows we would never progress. We need visibility as well and I think Caitlyn is really contributing to that

[Maddy_Aya_W.]

^ Spot on, Garry. My sentiments exactly.

[Beth Andrea]

Any hate comment tells you only one thing: the person who wrote it is MISERABLE, both in their personal life and in how they fit with society at large.

Rather than internalizing their issue, understand that they're no more important that a wind-up toy monkey with cymbals.

*clang* *clang* *clang*

[BunnyBee]

The people in the comments do not represent the rest of society, nor the tenor of it's overall sentiment in any meaningful way.  The only thing you learn when you read the comments (which you should not do) is how the dregs of society feel about a thing, which is not a thing anybody needs to be informed of.

Don't read them, and if you do, just realize they represent literally nothing and can be ignored.

[CarlyMcx]

She's just some D-list celebrity

Unless you are over 50 years old.  I was 13 when Bruce Jenner won the Olympic Decathlon gold medal in 1976, at the height of the Cold War with the Soviet Russians.  It was a big, BIG deal.  We had lost the Vietnam War a year earlier to the Communists.  America needed a hero, and Bruce delivered, big time.

[synesthetic]

really interesting reading everyone's input on this! thanks for all the responses

[rachel89]

"The majority of these comments are made by the dregs of society that have nothing better to do than troll the internet all day long.   I'm thinking unemployable losers that live in their parents' basements amongst bongwater stained rugs, stacks of questionable pornography and unlaundered spank socks.
In other words, not a representative sample of society".

So I am happy for Caitlyn, it looks like her transition is going well. I think this is basically a good thing for the older generation, and help them understand the trans* thing a little better who know her as the Olympic gold medalist. As far as bigots/trolls go, I think Jill F. has it right, except that they seem to makeup a rather sizable segment of society.