Even though I had thought I would never pass pre-T I did pass as soon as I came out and presented as male.
Because I was fortunate enough to pass from the start as long as I didn't open my mouth to speak too much, I don't know how it is to be a transperson who doesn't pass in society.
The only things I have gotten pre-T were people who got complete confused due to the voice. My voice was what didn't pass! They saw a man but heard a voice that wasn't deep, didn't fit what they saw and that made them uncomfortable because they didn't want to insult me by calling me the wrong gender, so one could see how their brains desperately tried to figure out whether I was a poor (cis) lad with a too high pitched voice or a (cis) chick unfortunate enough to look and act complete like a man. None of them guessed that I was a transguy though because most people aren't really aware of the existence of trans people in their everyday life where I live. It's not really a subject of interest here.
This is what changed when my voice finally passed together with me thanks to testosterone. Now I can speak and no one will question my maleness anymore
There is a difference between being a man in society and being a woman in society though. This society caters around women much more, it is gynocentric in many aspects. People are less nice, accommodating and helpful towards men and pay women much more positive attention.
Especially the school system is mostly devoted to behaviours and talents mostly common in females nowadays and is going further down that road. Typical male behaviour is often frowned upon and discouraged.
Since I have never ever even for a second been a girl/woman, regardless of what people saw me as, I had all the same struggles with this the other male students had too, just with the extra bonus of people expecting from me to be good at all the things I completely sucked at which led to them constantly voicing their disappointment about me and with my lack of emotionality, bad social skills and disinterest in social stuff, caretaking and other feminine things.
That's one reason why I find it hilarious that some people try to tell me I had a
"female socialisation" because I had not. Socialising a man as a woman isn't possible! They tried but failed, it didn't work because it can't work. It just caused frustration, irritation and aggression on both sides and made life harder especially for me. I have a male brain and that didn't change because they unsuccessfully tried to teach me female behaviour that was unnatural for me. I also struggled to even bond with females and usually had male friends anyway and socialised myself in a masculine way regardless of what the teachers or my parents tried.
Overall I have never been seen as a real girl/woman and I have never gotten all of those female privileges my female classmates have gotten for example. Those chicks regularly attacked me and when I defended myself the teachers and other students always decided that I was in the wrong because I was masculine, taller and physically stronger and not supposed to defend myself against those fine girls who hated me and didn't want me to get sorted into their group.
But at the same time society didn't see me as a man either because
"ID says you're a chick" so I was actually just viewed as some sort of freak show before I came out.
Honestly, I didn't socially transition from female to male, I socially transitioned from freak to male in society.
