Girlhood

[KellBelle14]

Im so scared that im going through a phase though like i didn't think about it for a while it hasn't gone away but i worry. I want to stay a girl so bad.

[Laura_7]

What you're feeling right now is completely normal and understandable.

There are a few things that are new and you don't know exactly what it will be like.
Just trust it will be ok.

You have done your part, the next step is the appointment.
Do it simply step by step.

Trust it will all turn out all right.
Enjoy your time until Monday, just relax,

There is no need to worry, you might as well have some fun .

hugs

[KellBelle14]

It's hard to trust it will turn out all right. If it's a phase i would be devastated. I would have no purpose to live for. I would be depressed all the time. It would be the worst thing ever! I don't know i could be trans to i never acted feminine not one bit but i always loved to stand in a feminine pose and do other girly things. Before i thought i was trans i painted my nails pink, cried over earrings and ear piercings.

[Laura_7]

Just say what you feel and want...

if you have this feelings for longer its hardly a phase...

just do your part, and concentrate on the good stuff... what you want...

and try to relax in the meantime 


have a *hug*

[KellBelle14]

I've had this for 2 months now.

[Laura_7]

Well you also said you like earrings and nail paint...
and there might be some earlier memories...

try to relax...

as said, tell what you feel... and what you want...

just relax until next week... enjoy your time...


hugs

[KellBelle14]

What i mean is i have been knowing im trans for 2 months. Is it going away?

[Jacqueline]

KellBelle,

Not likely. It may cycle a little more intense then less so but I doubt it will go away.

With warmth,

Joanna

[Laura_7]

Its not.

If you like cats for example its not going away.

Just try to relax.

*hugs*

[KellBelle14]

Im terrified that my trans is going to go away
Im having a hard time im crying on the inside.
I feel like how could i be trans so therefore im not. Like there are billions of people in the world how would i get to be female there is no way.

[Laura_7]

Don't overthink what others might think... just keep to what you feel and like.
Being tg is said to be one in four hundred people so its not that uncommon.

Its like your skin... its not going away...

it might change a bit, and that is ok...
its possible to have some other interests from time to time...
just try to relax...

just tell people then what it means to you ...

have a bit of trust and all will be fine


hugs

[KellBelle14]

Gotta be glad im uncomfortable and sad i have no idea what is going on i need some advice or help.

[Dena]

The fact you feel the way you do indicates you are one of us and you are very unsure about the future.  You are hurting now because you see a way to eliminate the pain you have felt in the past and fear somebody will snatch it away from you. If you express what you feel to your doctor, they should see it as well. If the depression gets to bad, call a suicide prevention line or go to a hospital and ask for help. If you can, find something to distract you. Something you enjoy doing. It can be something that gets you out of the house or around other people. You need to relax and take your mind off this because worrying isn't going to help anything. I know it's hard to think about anything else but you have to calm down because it will work out for the better. You just have to find a way to hang in there until this moment of panic passes and you can see the doctor to talk about it. 

[KellBelle14]

Sooooooo. ive been a girl my whole life even when i didn't know it. COOL

[Dena]

I think so. We carry traces of this through our life. I didn't know it until I hit puberty but from bits and pieces of my life I can see it existed very early. I suspect if you look at your life you sometimes did little things that weren't male like. We suppress our female side in order to have society and family accept us. This makes everybody other than us happy. The problem with suppressing ourself is that some day the pressure builds to the point were it blows. In my case it nearly drove me to suicide. Many avoid that but end up extremely unhappy.

It really not necessary to understand why you are the way you are. What you do need to understand is what will make you happy in life.

[KellBelle14]

All I can do is hope that I'm female like hope that I'm a girl that's all I have .
Still a little odd/weird having female on the forums but I like it I think I hope with all my heart.

[Jacqueline]

I didn't accept/know it till about 3 months ago. I am middle aged.

Joanna

[Dena]

Kelly something I should have done before making my first post on this thread was to reread you greeting message. I have done so and now recall reading it before. You have a history of female behavior and your story can't be written by somebody that isn't one of us. Treatment is important and when you are in therapy you need to tell everything to the therapist including tonight. You had me sitting on pins and needles thinking I had lost you when you went off line after my first post. I now understand I said the right thing and you where thinking it over. The therapist can help you avoid repeats of tonight if he/she understands how much you were hurting tonight.

You have to understand the road ahead of you isn't going to be easy and you have friends here who will try and help you. You are going to hurt at times but there will be a time in the future when the hurting will go away for the last time. You have been a transexual all your life but like many of us, didn't know it until your body started producing sex hormones. There is something about exposure to the sex hormones that affects our brain different than a normal CIS waking us up to the fact that our body is wrong. That is why you have felt uncomfortable for a short time even though you were born with this condition. It may take a few meeting with the therapist before they might put you on blockers but the better you can express your feeling to them, the sooner they will understand what you are.
Let me know if there is anything else I can help you with.

[KellBelle14]

Im still so scared that im not a girl because i didn't know what gender to pick for my character in a game. Ultimately i chose female but still im scared.

[Laura_7]

There still might be some conflicting sides in you.
You might think of what you think others expect... just be yourself then...
parts of what you might have picked up...
I'd say listen to your feelings then, not what you feel comes from outside...
and take some time if you need it...
try to relax...
you will learn over time more and more to listen to your inner feelings...

and a game might not be the best of indicators because a more male character might be a bit better for some gaming action...

and you don't have to feel girly all the time...

you also might reread some of the comments Dena and others gave if you want, they might help...

have a big *hug*