some flashback memories of childhood

[Joanne Feliz]

All of this transgender mess that is running through my head has made me remember some stuff from my childhood. 

I seem to be sitting downstairs, in the living room, on the couch with my mom and I am asking her if I will grow up to have boobs like her and to be like her - because I wanted to be like her.  I can remember that she was saying that I would belike my dad and I felt disappointed and frustrated at that,

I don't know if this is a real memory because it was so long ago and I was so young(30 years ago).

I am embarrissed to ask my mom if I asked that because I am frighted and embarrassed and that it will bring all this stuff back for my family.

All of the other thoughts I had about wanting to be a girl I did a good job of keeping to myself and this memory I have maybe one of the few times I spoke with my mum about it.

Gawd, I am such a pussy getting emotional over this ->-bleeped-<-.  What a torment.

I wont mention this to them because they are getting old and I don't want to worry them.  I have some other memories also like this too.  I wish I was stronger as a kid and spoke up more forcefully instead of being too embarriessed and ashamed of myself.

arrgh

[Sammy]

I don't want to spoil this for You, but chances are that Your mom has long forgotten that episode - even for You it came up as a flashback,  so for her it probably is long gone.
I spoke with my mother about similar events and she expressly denied that they ever happened, so good intent ended with awkward moment and frustration.

[stephaniec]

I'm lucky in that if you can call being able to remember everything since 4 years old is lucky. It might be better to say tormenting. Ever since I put on one of my sisters dresses at 4 I remember everything related to my dysphoria.