All of this transgender mess that is running through my head has made me remember some stuff from my childhood. 

I seem to be sitting downstairs, in the living room, on the couch with my mom and I am asking her if I will grow up to have boobs like her and to be like her - because I wanted to be like her.  I can remember that she was saying that I would belike my dad and I felt disappointed and frustrated at that,

I don't know if this is a real memory because it was so long ago and I was so young(30 years ago).

I am embarrissed to ask my mom if I asked that because I am frighted and embarrassed and that it will bring all this stuff back for my family.

All of the other thoughts I had about wanting to be a girl I did a good job of keeping to myself and this memory I have maybe one of the few times I spoke with my mum about it.

Gawd, I am such a pussy getting emotional over this ->-bleeped-<-.  What a torment.

I wont mention this to them because they are getting old and I don't want to worry them.  I have some other memories also like this too.  I wish I was stronger as a kid and spoke up more forcefully instead of being too embarriessed and ashamed of myself.

arrgh

I don't want to spoil this for You, but chances are that Your mom has long forgotten that episode - even for You it came up as a flashback,  so for her it probably is long gone.
I spoke with my mother about similar events and she expressly denied that they ever happened, so good intent ended with awkward moment and frustration.

I'm lucky in that if you can call being able to remember everything since 4 years old is lucky. It might be better to say tormenting. Ever since I put on one of my sisters dresses at 4 I remember everything related to my dysphoria.