Jealousy of other trans people and cis people

[jayyylmao]

Hey all, Jayson here
I've been having this issue recently of being jealous of, well, everyone. I go to a support group for trans kids around my age and I'm the youngest there, so everyone except one or two other guys has managed to get on hormones. Some of them even have top surgery done or scheduled. Beyond that, in my school, every other guy in my year is all tall, muscly, and masculine, and I stick out like a sore thumb. I pass, but as three years younger than I am.
I know it's stupid but I cant help but be jealous of other guys and other trans people. Has anyone else experienced this?

[Hecknado]

Yeah definitely, I'm 15 pre everything, and although there are one or two guys who are my height and build, I know pretty soon unless I can get testosterone going, I'll soon be far behind everyone else.
One thing that sucks to think about, but it's true, is that not all guys are tall, every one is different.
What I do if I feel down about my body/height or whatever is to exercise, especially running or biking extremely hard until you are forced to stop ( clears your mind ).

Until then, waiting until hormones, which is the most frustrating thing.
For calming down, check out "smiling mind" for some breathing/calming sort of exercises, meditate, or try find something extremely challenging to do that uses all your focus.

Cheers, David

[suzifrommd]

Jayson, your situation and mine are different, but I'll tell you about myself and maybe it will help.

Throughout my teen years I was always skinny and uncoordinated. Could never do any sports, hold my own in any sort of fight, etc. I really stood out, got bullied, etc.

But as I went through those years, I developed as a person. I discovered what I liked - books, movies, TV shows, activities, etc. I discovered what I was good at (computer programming, science) and what I liked doing (bicycling, theatre productions, card games). I found a few friends with similar likes. As I got older, the ways in which I stood out as different became less important and the ways in which I could be true to myself shaped a more positive self image.

Good luck, Jayson. I hope this helps.

[Cindy]

Like Suzi, I so know what it is like to be young and can't transition.

I decided the only way I could be was to bury myself in school work so that I could get a good job and the money that came with that.

I did, and I succeeded, it was hard but..... eventually I could be me, and no one and nothing would stop me.

Use your pain as a positive, let it drive you, never be ashamed for being you, but work like crazy so you can be who you are.

[KellBelle14]

Yassssss i do too it suckssssssss.

[Myers]

I'm 30 and I'm still jealous
I wish I was cis guy, tall, with a ton of muscules...
But you know, everybody is jealous of something. There always will be someone/something that seems to be better.
Just think about future: you will get your things done eventually. And someone will be jealous of you. And people are so different. Just be a good person and you will be loved and respected no matter what

[jayyylmao]

Thanks all for the kind and inspiring words It can really help to just hear other people's thoughts on what you've said

Yeah definitely, I'm 15 pre everything, and although there are one or two guys who are my height and build, I know pretty soon unless I can get testosterone going, I'll soon be far behind everyone else.
One thing that sucks to think about, but it's true, is that not all guys are tall, every one is different.
What I do if I feel down about my body/height or whatever is to exercise, especially running or biking extremely hard until you are forced to stop ( clears your mind ).

Until then, waiting until hormones, which is the most frustrating thing.
For calming down, check out "smiling mind" for some breathing/calming sort of exercises, meditate, or try find something extremely challenging to do that uses all your focus.

Cheers, David

We seem to be in a pretty similar position, David. I have my T appointment in 3 months, a few days before my sixteenth birthday, and I should get it then but I'm still super worried. As a heavier guy, I'm also under pressure to lose weight before it too, so the exercise is on my list.

[Ms Grace]

Jealousy is common - but let me tell you it is a waste of your time and energy. Jealousy eats up your heart and leaves you bitter and angry and upset. Just know that you are making progress, yes others trans guys are ahead of you, yes genetic guys appear to "have it all" but I can guarantee you the majority are jealous of something else and wish they had what someone else has anyway. Being content with ourselves even while seeking to improve and transition leads to a smoother and happier journey with fewer disappointments.

[Sarah_wannabe]

Hi! I just wanted to say I agree with Ms Grace completely,  for the better part of a few years I've been everything from jealous to hopeful. Even now I struggle, but I get by to not letting myself waste my time in the hatred which embraces jealousy. I've made my own progress and keep myself busy. But I know what you mean, although I am quite the opposite. I get especially jealous seeing any cis women. Most times I get by, by ignoring myself in those situations. I've also beaten myself up, not literally of course, but mentally for not speaking up when I first felt these emotions and feelings when I was younger and my hormones started to permanently change me and still are to an extend.

Even now I'm quite happy I haven't changed a whole lot in height or shape, but without rambling on any longer from young person to another -I really- suggest not focusing on it and if you do. See the positive parts of yourself! 

~Sarah   

[Hecknado]

Thanks all for the kind and inspiring words It can really help to just hear other people's thoughts on what you've said
We seem to be in a pretty similar position, David. I have my T appointment in 3 months, a few days before my sixteenth birthday, and I should get it then but I'm still super worried. As a heavier guy, I'm also under pressure to lose weight before it too, so the exercise is on my list.

man that's awesome! im 16 in a week and im still on a very long waiting list for a long waiting list for blockers....
running should help with weight but as I know myself, I hate running in public... I have an exercycle in my room, and weights  - try get your dad or parents to get some weights or something, then you can exercise in private. also chin ups are AMAZING for broadening shoulders. starting with only 3 though, or youll pull something
cheers

[SamSparks]

Ya of course.  I'm jealous of everyone prettier than me.

[Evolving Beauty]

Rome was not built in 1 day

When I began I looked freakish and creaturish, bullied as hell, today men flock around me and line up to see me.

Patience dude! You're soon gonna flourish into a handsome young man.

[Sydney Spitfire]

yeah, my recommendation is to take that jealousy and use it constructively, find out what you want and then work your hardest and remember that just because you are behind doesn't mean you are out and that you will not be who you want to be. All you have to do is be patient and not lose sight of you goals no matter how hard it is