Ive decided to write a non biased testimonial simply stating the facts of MY experience as a post op female. I had my initial MtF SRS with Dr. Pichet in Bangkok. (Please no comments stating how STUPID this was... Its done, over & we can not change the past). I arrived and was picked up as promised by his personal driver and taken to my hotel. The next morning I was picked up and taken to his clinic and began my consultation and prep right on schedule. The next thing I remember I was waking up looking for my laptop so that I could call my mother, whom I didn't even tell when it started because I didn't want her to panic if I took too long to call her, to let her know that it was done. I spent about 3-4 days in the hospital, in bed, in the most severe pain of my life. I was alone, but I had so much support from family and friends calling, FaceTiming and sending love via Facebook. After day 3, I finally wanted to get up and walk to the restroom. I stood up and felt very dizzy. I looked up and realized that they were infusing DEXTROSE, NOT normal saline in my IV. I immediately asked them to check my blood sugar. After much attitude and grief they gave in and checked it, it was almost 300. I am NOT diabetic and was very healthy at that point in my life, so my blood sugar shouldn't have been so high. I demanded that the infusion be stopped! I remember crying in so much pain begging for more pain meds. The night nurses were very rude. Dr. Pichet even stated to me once that "You're supposed to be a nurse, you should not be in this much pain".... What the HELLLLL does being a nurse have to do with my pain?
I was discharged and taken to my hotel. They saw me to my room and assisted me with my bags and the hospitality was great! I laid in that hotel miserable to the next few days. In pain... lonely... no relief for the pain... The only time that I left my room was to go down for breakfast or to go to the clinic for a check up. On the day that I was scheduled to leave, my stitches and packing and catheter were removed. While prepping to show me how to dilate they showed me the finished product. There was a white discharge that was not your normal post surgical discharge. It was reddened, inflamed, painful & screamed infection to me! They insisted that this was normal and we were going to proceed with dilation. I respectfully declined and counted down the hours til I could board my flight and get back to the USA to see my PCP. Thankfully, i'd scheduled a follow up with her prior to leaving the country. The next 48 hours were hell. I did have wheelchair service all the way back to Virginia at each airport. But sitting on my bottom was the worst not to mention the fact that my pain had not been relieved by any medication.
I arrived back in the USA about 6pm and went to stay at my moms because everyone was so thrilled that I made it home. My mother finally disclosed to me that the reason she was so upset when I left to board my flight was because she swore that the worst was going to happen and she would never see me alive again. I spent that night in agony, lying in my mothers bed, bleeding like a cow. I remember watching Steel Magnolias and crying my eyes out saying I know this is infected and I know it is going to kill me. I see my PCP the next morning at my 10am scheduled appointment, and just as I suspected It was infected and the sutures were dissolving causing my neovagina to come apart. She told me "Im going to have to find you a surgeon, I can't do anything with this... This is bad.... I will give you antibiotics.. I don't want you to die from a sex reassignment surgery"
She managed to locate a double board certified UroGynecologist in Richmond who is actually one of the best and has had some experience with SRS. I went to see him and for about 4 weeks he said I was too infected to even perform an exam. I needed heavy antibiotics and to dare not think about dilating. The infection cleared but needless to say I had a collapsed vaginal canal. So Valentines Day 2013 I had my first revision.... Dilated as told after the packing came out and I still ended up loosing depth and width. September 9, 2013, 2 days after my wedding I required another.... Same results each time minus the infection. My husband and I used dilation as foreplay & quality time together. We were very diligent about this each time. He never let me skip out on this despite the pain. My Dr. has used Cow and Pig grafts & finally in May of 2014 an artificial graft.
Finally in May 2014 I decided that was going to be the last surgery. I ordered shorter plastic dilators that could be kept in during the work day. It worked well. When I went for my 2 week follow up and removal of the packing I immediately went home and put the largest one I could tolerate in and would only remove it to clean it, for showers and for sex. Sure this was painful at times and it would cut my inner thighs at times, but I was content because I had a working Vag... So my GYN decides in October that this was not acceptable nor the continued pain meds, so I had to start seeing a pelvic floor therapist. I was open to this because I want to be as "normal" as possible. This was totally everything that I did NOT expect. I had to see her weekly to discuss relaxation techniques, bowel and bladder habits, dietary habits, sleeping, sitting and standing positions. I felt like I was seeing a shrink actually. Despite my telling them that anytime I took it out, showers included the dilator was forced to go back in and painful. I was told that the reason was that the vagina isn't meant to stay in an open position all the time as I had trained mine to do. I was also told it was all in relaxation and that apparently something in my brain was causing me to tense up. So she came up with a schedule of when I could keep the dilator out In an effort to ween myself off. Well within 3 days of following her stupid schedule I had to step down a size dilator and eventually was unable to ever get back to the size 4 I was on.
They then decided that I wasn't crazy and that I truly did have what could have been muscular issues, overactive muscles causing the contractions and pain. So we tried Botox injections which worked but for a substantially lower time than it should have. My insurance declined to pay for those because it was a result of my decision to "alter my gender". My doctor eventually tried a bladder stem to help control the muscles of the pelvic floor, but even that didn't work. Memorial Day weekend I began experiencing contractions to the point it forced the size 2 dilator that I was now down to out and I had to use the size 1 which is the size of a finger.... by Tuesday the tip of the size 1 was being expelled from my body and there was nothing I could do about it. I called the GYN office and they couldn't see me until the next day. By the next day when I went in for a vaginal exam I was too closed to even consider anything besides a revision. He says to me "This isn't supposed to happen a whole year after surgery.. I don't know what happened. Do you think you had an infection?"
So now I'm scheduled for the 4th revision in 2.5 years. Ive been on pain pills (Percocet, vicodin, tramadol, morphine and dilaudid) & muscle relaxants (Baclofen and Flexeril together) then advanced to Xanoflex since October 2012. I take them 3-4 times per day just to control the pain and still work and drive like it's nothing.
I am scheduled for a revision on Thursday, this time using a skin graft. I pray this is the last one.... If anyone has any experience with this and any HELPFUL advice, that would be great. No comments about how Im not dilating aggressively enough or anything else about how its my fault because I think its safe to say at this point there is a bigger issue than me causing this.... Thank you!
