Gay or transgender?

[Dena]

I'm not ready to see a therapist yet I have to ready my mind to get the fact of I might actually not be a girl / trans and I'm just not ready

That is what a therapist does. They help you answer this type of question much faster than you can do it yourself. If you can't answer this question after thinking about it, then you may need a therapist to help. By the way, this is a good question for girl number 1 when she is around. If you decide you want a therapist, let us know and we will tell you how to get help.

[BBGurl24]

I'm afraid I wasn't a girl in the first place but oh well

[Laura_7]

I'm afraid I wasn't a girl in the first place but oh well

This is all completely understandable.

Just try to get used to the thought you are a girl. Its all right.

Cis people do not have those thoughts being a girl.

In my opinion you could try to relax.

Take consciously a few deep breaths.
One...
another one...
and another one...

better now ?


As Dena said, a good therapist would help you calm down.
But its up to you, if you think you want a bit more time.

You can try to do this, too. Consciously relaxing.
And taking a few deep breaths.
Like One...
and another one...
and another one...

hope you feel better now 

hugs

[BBGurl24]

So what are the chances I'm actually trans and this is one of those awful doubting periods

[Rejennyrated]

So what are the chances I'm actually trans and this is one of those awful doubting periods

Lets put it this way if I'd made your posts - and I was reading my own posts in this thread I'd be forced tell myself the chances are no less than 100% because nothing else would make any sort of sense at all.

However the catch here is that I'm NOT inside your head, nor is anyone else reading this, and hence we cannot tell you that. Only you know your own mind.

The question am I gay or trans has only one possible answer namely :- "You are whatever you decide."

[BBGurl24]

Well I'm jealous of girls for every reason possible and I see no reason to stay male at all I think I'm just doubting

[BBGurl24]

Okay so doubting sucks because thinking I'm a girl is the best thing ever and I wish I identified as female

[Dena]

I think you have answered your own question and I think you now see in you what we see in you. The next thing you will have to think about is are you ready to tell your parents. If you are, let us know first and we will help you with information that will help you explain this to your parents. Your parents may not know very much about this and you are still learning. We can help you with letters that will do a better job explaining what you feel. Also we are willing to talk to your parents like we talk with you. They can create their own account so they will be separate from yours and we can teach them what they need to know to get the best treatment for you.

The decision is yours so let us know what you think.

[BBGurl24]

Okay I just did yes no random spinners and when I got yes for am I a girl I was so happy and when I got no I kept trying until I got yes and yes I know they are fake but cis wouldn't try to get female and be happy when he got it he would try to get no

[Dena]

I have never heard of it being tested that way before but you are correct about the feelings. A CIS would want it to come up the same sex they are.

[BBGurl24]

Please tell me it's just one of those doubting periods because I wanna stay a transgirl forever

[Laura_7]

Its just a short period

If you relax you will have your original feelings, which are always there.

[sparrow]

I'm going to socially transition in the workplace, at a career job.  I'm an academic, where my life depends on my publication record, which bears my boy name.  I'll never be stealth.  I accept that I'll never fully pass: I'll "forever" be trans.  I've encountered several people like me.  That's removed a lot of my stress surrounding transition.  I don't want ffs.  Well, I'm not gonna pass anyway, so I don't feel a need for ffs.

Point is, you can draw the line on your transition where ever you feel comfortable.  There's a whole spectrum of options out there, and full-blown 100% passing mtf with all the surgeries, all the treatments, all the training, is only one.

[BBGurl24]

Im feeling her more and more i think the doubting is just a phase.

[BBGurl24]

I wanna be a transgirl btw. but i would rather have been born a girl much easier

[Laura_7]

Im feeling her more and more i think the doubting is just a phase.

Good 

[BBGurl24]

Feels like a battle in my head. Like i wan't to be a girl but i am doubting for really no reason like there is no reason to doubt. I hate when people say that only i know because i wan't people to choose for me like i would hope they would choose female but oh well.

[Laura_7]

Well if you hope they would chose female there is what you want 

[Rejennyrated]

Feels like a battle in my head. Like i wan't to be a girl but i am doubting for really no reason like there is no reason to doubt. I hate when people say that only i know because i wan't people to choose for me like i would hope they would choose female but oh well.

Yeah but the point is what you are looking for is someone else to take responsibility for the decision so that if it turns out to be wrong you can blame them - and that's not how life works. Life doesnt come with a guarrantee that everything will always work out, sometimes we all make what, with hindsight, seem like terrible errors - For example I did when I left a certain job that I loved...  but thats when you have to dig deep and make it work for you anyway.

Any fool can take a good decision and make it work - it takes a particular skill to take a BAD decision and make that work out! So part of being a mature human being is learning to TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for your own life - and if you arent yet at the point where you are prepared to do that then I fear you arent yet mature enough to decide this. (And please understand this is about maturity NOT AGE!)

I took that decision at age FIVE - I left people in no doubt that this was what I wanted - and since that time (fifty years now) I've made it my business to make that decision work for me, which is why you will never hear me join in with all the moaners and groaners who complain about how tough it all is. For most people life just IS hard whatever choices you make, and without any gender questions being involved, but we all have to get on with it and own our choices. Thats what being an adult means.

So you won't find anyone who will make that decision for you, and if you do you would a complete fool to listen to them, because its YOUR life not theirs, and YOU are the one who will have to make it work.

Sorry that isnt want you want to hear, but please recognise that it is the truth.

[BBGurl24]

Laura should i try to remove all the girl from me since im already doubting her for like 2 or 3 days?