Hello, I don't much post on here lately since I have had to recover from a very bad kicking out by family members and needing to focus on getting a place for me and my wife. Luckily we are able to stay with her dad but i am not out to any of her family and 2/3 of mine don't know either.
I live In Peterborough, Ontario in Canada, originally from Puerto Rico. it was not a very good place to find myself and continue to live with myself so i moved to Canada and it has been my spiritual homeland ever since. It is not without it's tribulations however, the money stress of getting a place, the constant little(sometimes not so little) bouts of deep depression and self deprecation. I do not know what to do with myself most of the time, being a sheltered child, raised naive and lazy i have had a difficult time just growing up let alone dealing with being myself. Not had the best of role models and the religiousness of many a family member did not help my self esteem any further.
Being angry at my femininity and constantly doubting myself, feeling like a liar; to myself about who i truly am and sometimes to everyone else, either because I hide myself pretending to be male or because I cannot truly express being female because for all 'intents and purposes" it appears as a lie to others.
The main purpose of all of this is the need for me to have some sort of support group environment, to share and talk with/listen to kindred spirits and vent, just vent, to just see it in someone else's eyes, that same pain i see in the mirror and know i am not alone and can help and be helped through sharing that pain. I have searched online and other than the Pride orgainsation and parade (I saw no visible headquarters for it) there was no place I can actually go to for support as trans. I can't drive, never learned, Puerto Rico is an insane carnival of barely missed accidents and traffic jams and intolerant teachers and road conditions had me failing tests repeatedly. I therefore cannot drive anywhere, possibly take a bus but it would only be within the city.
I would like to know if anyone knows of SOMETHING, anything that is like a physical support group meeting place in this town? I often feel I need that live or instant back and forth with someone else who understands what I am going through.
Thank you for taking the time to read this far.
