Susan's Place Logo

News:

Visit our Discord server  and Wiki

Main Menu

What's the point?

Started by Jessica_W, July 03, 2015, 01:15:40 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Jessica_W

What's the point of going to a gender therapist if I know/believe I'm transgender? My fiancé thinks I'm biased and will tell them I think I'm trans. So what's the point now? Validation? Permission? I know its the key needed to go to the next step of getting hormones, but my fiancé isn't sure what good will come from seeing one. So I'm asking those who have been to one... What can I expect in my situation.

Thanks,
Jess
__________________________________________
Discovered I Am Transgender: June 15th, 2015

Caught a glimpse of her: April 22nd, 2016

To Be Continued...
__________________________________________
(Spoiler: Not my real avatar picture)
  •  

JoanneB

The simple answer is "Their ball, their rules". If you want to start HRT, get any surgeries, etc., most docs want a CYA letter from a therapist. So if you're past that point, on HRT, no surgeries on the horizon, happily living as a female, have no real trans related problems and are coping well with your transition. have some sort of a support network between your fiance and perhaps a TG support group or friends that really really really understand what it is like to be trans....

Hmmmm No point?

I started seeing a for real Gender Therapist like 4 years in. However I still need to present primarily as male and am trying to keep many other aspects of myself together, some of which lean heavily on the male aspect of me. For me my therapist supplies the mostly unbiased viewpoints I need.

I would love to fully transition, yet thankfully do not need to... most days. HRT has helped a lot. My support group was instrumental in turning my life around. Yet I know if it came to a vote, transitioning would win. Easy for them most, now all have. I'm the odd ball with 6 years later not living full-time. My wife sure does not look forward to me fully transitioning. Yet she is my biggest reality therapist often times stopping me when I hit the I got to stop this craziness point. She also sees how much for the better I have changed. My therapist helps me balance all the conflicting needs I have to.

Like being trans... I sure wish I wasn't but I are. Same for the therapist. I wish I didn't need her, but I do... today
.          (Pile Driver)  
                    |
                    |
                    ^
(ROCK) ---> ME <--- (HARD PLACE)
  •  

leacobb

When you see a GT they basicly ask you questions like when did you start feeling the way you did to how is it affecting your life now... it is basicly a assessment to see if the way you see yourself is really who you are.. it is crazy that you have to go through all this but it is necessary.. when i seen mine there was a woman waiting with me and we spoke for a while befor she was called in. When she came out she said that they really made her think about her life... with me it was different i knew from a young age so it was pretty straight forward... it is not as bad as what people may think.. but im only going of my doctors and everyone is different.. 

I hope this kinda helped xx

Sent from my GT-I9505 using Tapatalk

Will Humanity Live In Acceptance, Love and Hope Or Is It Just A Dream
  •  

Dena

I was in therapy once a week for 8 years but I admit the last 4 were where I got the business done. We have much baggage we carry from our past life and the transition process is full of land mines. If all of these are not cleared before we make the decision for SRS, we may make the decision for the wrong reason and regret the surgery. There will be no happiness in the new life. I have seen others that didn't do their work in therapy and that was the outcome. With two year of cross living, I didn't get my mess cleared up until a few months before surgery.

If we have post surgical regret, we will blame the surgery as the cause of our distress when in reality the surgery may have still been a good decision but entering our new life without a clear mind was the bad decision. Only you can determine if you are happy before surgery but if you aren't, you should delay the decision for surgery until you are happy. The surgery changes nothing in your life and any problems you had before surgery you will have after surgery.
Rebirth Date 1982 - PMs are welcome - Use [email]dena@susans.org[/email] or Discord if your unable to PM - Skype is available - My Transition
If you are helped by this site, consider leaving a tip in the jar at the bottom of the page or become a subscriber
  •  

stephaniec

Quote from: Dena on July 03, 2015, 01:31:42 PM
I was in therapy once a week for 8 years but I admit the last 4 were where I got the business done. We have much baggage we carry from our past life and the transition process is full of land mines. If all of these are not cleared before we make the decision for SRS, we may make the decision for the wrong reason and regret the surgery. There will be no happiness in the new life. I have seen others that didn't do their work in therapy and that was the outcome. With two year of cross living, I didn't get my mess cleared up until a few months before surgery.

If we have post surgical regret, we will blame the surgery as the cause of our distress when in reality the surgery may have still been a good decision but entering our new life without a clear mind was the bad decision. Only you can determine if you are happy before surgery but if you aren't, you should delay the decision for surgery until you are happy. The surgery changes nothing in your life and any problems you had before surgery you will have after surgery.
ditto
  •  

suzifrommd

I've always said that not everyone needs a gender therapist. I figured it out on my own. When I finally saw a therapist, we had a handful of sessions, after which he supported my decision to start HRT.

Since going full time, though, my new therapist (much better than the guy I started HRT with) has really been valuable. She's helped me figured out the maze of being socially a woman and helped me pick up the pieces after my divorce.
Have you read my short story The Eve of Triumph?
  •  

Mariah

It's true, especially when going ahead for SRS, that you generally have to jump through there hoops. Secondly as much as I would have liked to have thought I didn't have baggage to deal with, I was wrong because I did. It's true I had sorted most things out prior to, but as yo unravel the layers you find things you didn't expect. The point is it's more than validation and hoops. Are gender issues are just one piece of that puzzle. It's true regular seasons for me ended after roughly 10/ 11 months, but still they were needed. Hugs
Mariah
If you have any questions, please feel free to ask me.
[email]mariahsusans.orgstaff@yahoo.com[/email]
I am also spouse of a transgender person.
Retired News Administrator
Retired (S) Global Moderator
  •  

Ms Grace

I knew I was trans, no doubting it...but the legal requirement where I live requires I be referred by a psych before I can see an endo (especially if I want to enjoy the reduced costs benefits afforded me by Australian Medicare). But the thing about talking with a counsellor is that it can also help you voice fears, doubts and discuss hopes, expectations and get feedback on how realistic that may or may not be. The first time I tried to transition I only saw a shrink for the requisite sessions to get and be able to continue HRT, but my first attempt was also wracked with fears and doubts and ultimately imploded. When I decided to try and transition again the one thing I decided was that I needed more professional support. Being able to talk about trans issues with someone who had a lot of insight into the struggles and accomplishments of many others before me really helped me get a grasp on being trans, let go of my rampaging internalised transphobia, fears about my age and passability, discuss coming out to my family, at work, etc, etc. While I also had Susan's as a platform for that the guidance of this one counsellor has been invaluable.
Grace
----------------------------------------------
Transition 1.0 (Julie): HRT 1989-91
Self-denial: 1991-2013
Transition 2.0 (Grace): HRT June 24 2013
Full-time: March 24, 2014 :D
  •  

kittenpower

For me the main reason for seeing a therapist was to gain access to medical care, but it was also nice to be able to share my feelings with someone who was unbiased and had an objective point of view.
  •  

RavenL

Count me in as going for the therapist to get the note for HRT. But like Mariah some extra baggage has come up after four sessions for me. Which has really helped explain some things for me.






  •  

Cindy

The same as Grace said, it is a legal requirement in Australia.

That said, I ended my therapy a happy well rounded woman without the baggage I was carrying before hand. I am very grateful for the hard work that both I and my psychiatrists put in to help me be who I now am.

In my last sign off session my psych gave me card and just said 'Cindy, once my client you are always my client. Call me any time to discuss anything that concerns you.'  That is rather reassuring to be honest!
  •