Change in social mode

[zog]

An interesting observation today when I was hanging out with three cismen who I do a podcast with. It's been a while since I've hung out with all cis, all straight group so I was a bit lost as to how to do this thing again after a while. But at some point I realised that the strangeness was because my social status had shifted within the group from being one of the guys to a female one. It was interesting since this is a group of people I've done the show for almost 10 years and most of that time I've not even known I was trans, let alone been actively transitioning and I don't think they're even thinking about it that much since it's not an issue we've talked a lot within the group.

But it was really apparent that my status had changed because I noticed that my mannerisms and way of engaging within the conversations was drastically different from what it had been before. I don't even mean in any kind of a clichéd male or female contrast way, but it was a definite shift. I also noticed that I was being talked over like all hell, which tended to be a bit annoying at times but at the same time it was kind of validating to be treated in this signature female way.

Then again, I don't know if this is just in my head since I'm not that convinced I pass that much. But apparently I rambled this text down anyway.

[iKate]

I kind of feel like a square peg in a round hole now with my cis guy friends. I am much more comfortable with women but then again I always was.

[Ashey]

My guy friends used to talk over me quite often anyway, but now it's very obvious when it happens or when I get ignored by guys in conversation. And of course talking with women is way different. All this stuff should be expected though.. Yeah, you're still you, but experiences shape us. Living as a woman will change you, and people will also see you differently. So it's reasonable to assume that even interactions with friends may change. I actually hung out with an old guy friend recently and he seemed a bit uncomfortable, and wouldn't look at me directly even though he acted normally otherwise. And I realized, it's entirely possible that he might have found me attractive.. Very odd to consider, but that's the reality of things now...

[Jean24]

I also noticed that I was being talked over like all hell, which tended to be a bit annoying at times but at the same time it was kind of validating to be treated in this signature female way.

Men tend to do that in general, whereas women will use disclaimers (such as "I might be wrong, but...") especially when talking to men. Maybe you're just noticing the former more nowadays? It could be a combination of that and their willingness to do it more now that you're the only girl in the group.

I have a big family and everyone pretty much talks over the younger members.