Come out to Parents

[Dena]

Hi Turtlesrule. Everyone the reason I have been away for a while because my parents grounded me for a while and I had no access to electronics eccept my radio. My parents accept me now and have even agreed to help me start socially transitioning! So happy. Good luck Turtlesrule. Hope all goes well for you!

I hope they grounded you for something other that Transsexualism. That is something you really couldn't control.

In any case, welcome back and I hope we hear more from you.

[stephaniec]

Hi Turtlesrule. Everyone the reason I have been away for a while because my parents grounded me for a while and I had no access to electronics eccept my radio. My parents accept me now and have even agreed to help me start socially transitioning! So happy. Good luck Turtlesrule. Hope all goes well for you!

glad things worked out , good luck

[Murplethepurple]

I told them I was on a forum and they thought that I had been convinced that I was transsexual. I think they figured if all she can do is listen to the radio she won't be influenced and she will change her mind. Obviosly it did not work. I just read books the whole time. And wrote a letter for my friend in case I was kicked out so I could explain why I was showing up at his house at the stupidest hour in the world. Ended up putting it in the fireplace and burning it. Why not. Won't need it. But I am very happy. My mom is taking me to get my ears pierced tomorrow and get some clothes. And Sunday I get to spend the whole afternoon at the mall!

[Dena]

I told them I was on a forum and they thought that I had been convinced that I was transsexual. I think they figured if all she can do is listen to the radio she won't be influenced and she will change her mind. Obviosly it did not work. I just read books the whole time. And wrote a letter for my friend in case I was kicked out so I could explain why I was showing up at his house at the stupidest hour in the world. Ended up putting it in the fireplace and burning it. Why not. Won't need it. But I am very happy. My mom is taking me to get my ears pierced tomorrow and get some clothes. And Sunday I get to spend the whole afternoon at the mall!

WOW, that's not the treatment I received when I came out. I admit I was much older at the time but still. Your parents must have received an education from somebody and they have learned much about the subject. Do everything you can to help your parents when ever possible because they are putting out big effort to help you and the least you can do is return the favor. Some of the people on this board haven't had outcomes as good as yours so you have every reason to be happy.

By the way, sorry for hijacking your thread while you were gone 

Let us know if we can help you and don't forget that your parents are welcome here as well. We want your parents to know we are nice people and only want to help you be happy.

[Murplethepurple]

They know they are welcome here. They just don't have enough time to be part of a forum. Don't worry about hijacking my thread. It feels great to know that something that was very important to me is also so important to another person that they ask question on this thread. Next week I won't be on much and probably won't be on much over the weekend either. Feel free to hijack this thread whenever you want. I wish I could have given Turtlesrule some tips considering (no offense to you friends. All great people) I am a little closer to her age.

[Dena]

They know they are welcome here. They just don't have enough time to be part of a forum. Don't worry about hijacking my thread. It feels great to know that something that was very important to me is also so important to another person that they ask question on this thread. Next week I won't be on much and probably won't be on much over the weekend either. Feel free to hijack this thread whenever you want. I wish I could have given Turtlesrule some tips considering (no offense to you friends. All great people) I am a little closer to her age.

Much closer to her age, that's for sure. You could add both of your ages together, double it and you would be near my age. Don't worry about helping Turtlesrule because there will be somebody else you can help. It's a little slow right now but I have seen as many as 6 people join the web site in one day. Yes, most were older than you but I am sure if you want to help, there will be plenty for you to do in the future.

Also don't make this website your life. Go out and be with other people because you are at an age where that is important. My transsexualism was so bad I had almost no friends at your age and even today I am uncomfortable when meeting new people and making them my friend. I have many things I can teach you but being around people is something you can be better at than me.

[Murplethepurple]

I go to a private school and most of the kids live in gated communities that are not near me and my friends that I usually hang out with during the day is away at camp right now. That's ok. I don't mind living as a hermit on my computer all day. I like it. I think I have become this way because of bullying. Also I hate the outdoors. I hope to see my friend sunday morning. Although I will probably wear one of my last pairs of boys clothes that morning cause I donating most of my clothes to my tennis instructors charity for kids in Zambia (its in Africa in case you were unsure. Near Zimbabwe). I do hope to be able to help people in the future, may they be older or younger than I.

[Dena]

It will take you a long time to learn the medical side of things but most of the time what people really need help with is getting out of the closet and transitioning in to the new role. Many people including me had to fight nerves and fear so this is where you will be the most helpful. Now I admit that most people don't keep a stash of female garments  around to be discovered but I am sure that you will find ways to help people get past this problem. I am sad to say that younger people often have a hard time getting help on this website because of the lack of younger people and the older people are not far enough along in their treatment to be secure dealing with the very young. I have to admit as mature as I am, I had a thread about two weeks ago that help drain my energy.  I was lucky and needed to be away from the site for 8 days and in that time I was refreshed enough to come back and continue helping others.

Who knows, we might become a team where we cover each others weakness.

Also be careful about bulling. That shouldn't ever happen but if it does, it needs to be handled quickly I was bullied once (not for transsexualism) but the differences was I knew how to defend myself. If a bully gets away with something, it will only be worst the next time so do whatever is needed to ensure there will not be a second time.

[Murplethepurple]

I was quite a nerdy looking kid so instantly the kids though I was a nerd and did not give me a chance to even explain myself. I do admit my undergarment stashes are on the wierd side but thats alright cause I no longer have to hide them. I think the most difficult part for me will be learning how to put on makeup and getting used to wearing matching clothes.

Your parents must have received an education from somebody and they have learned much about the subject.

One of my mom's close friends is gay and he knows a lot about this subject. Not to mention I just printed out every single webpage that had any helpfull info on it and highlighted all of that info. I went through like 12 highlighters. The only thing I am not getting is a new wallet which is ok because I can finally help people make their way through the coming out process. Albiet being forced into telling your parents because they found a stash of bras in the house. LOL 

Being a team is not a bad idea at all. Actually it is a very good idea. Although we can probably talk about it in PM's if we do become a team.

[Pauline01]

"I want to eat drink and BE Mary"

Eat Drink And Be Mary

[Murplethepurple]

Thanks?

[Dena]

What you did was't all that weird but I do admit to the adult mind it is a bit funny. In my case I would use my mom's clothes when I could - at least until I way outgrew them. Keeping anything private was a problem for me because I shared a bedroom with my brother and was impossible to hide as much as a news paper clipping. I did get caught once when my brother returned home early and I was blackmailed for it, but when my mom was told about it, she just thought it was a phase I was going through. In those days, treatment was almost impossible and for somebody as young as I was, it didn't exist so I went back into the closet for about 7 more years.

We tend to use PM's as little as possible because you never know when somebody else reading a thread can add something you haven't though of. I do use PM's when I don't want to clutter up a thread with chit chat. And because I have been working pretty fast lately, I need to review my PM's and delete some of the stuff I have accumulated that is no longer needed.

Also around here we don't have formally teems, it's mostly a matter of people jumping in where ever they can help. Laura_7 has been a big help to me at time because I can't stay by computer 16 hours a day so she will cover the hours I am not around and I will cover the hours she is not around.

[Murplethepurple]

I think most kids my age would just use their mom's clothes. I did use being a nerd to get my own stash's but that is another story altogether. Alright. I will put that on my page of thing to remember on this site. No formal teams. I will have to get used to that. I shared (still do at night) but I just hid things in the wierdest places. (I once put some panties in the water control valve area in our yard. I still don't know where I got that idea from). I understand you completely. I like the computer but I have terrible migraine headaches I get once a day even with the strongest preventative the nuerologist can prescribe a fifteen year old. They ussually last at least 30 minutes and they really take away from my education. But once again I am going off topic.

[Dena]

It is your thread and topics do sometimes tend to wander a bit. Sorry about your headaches but if they started in puberty, there is a possibility that HRT may affect them. I can't tell you if it will be good or bad but sometimes HRT does do unexpected things.

For the most part the only thing formal around here is the Moderation. The rest of us have jobs or other commitments that prevent us from being here all the time. If you run the numbers on the donations, you will find this web site takes in less that $40,000 a years which is not enough to pay one person for their services. Pretty much everything you see here is donated or volunteer which shows you how much people want to help others around here.

I am very impressed about the professional quality of this web site considering it was put together on a shoe string budget.

[Murplethepurple]

I have always had them ever since I was 8 years old. What the neurologist said is that certain light patterns that occur naturally in the world cause a sort of epileptic siezure in my brain which then triggers the headaches. I dunno if that is true or not but he had a wall full of plaques and awards so im going to take his word over the internet. I never did run the numbers on the donations. That is quite amazing. I can believe that other people want to help that much. Now that I am free of the social bindings of being in a male body I want to help other people feel the same way. If I had an income then I would donate but as it is I have picked up the last penny from my last three bithdays and it is only like $500 which I am probably completely spend shopping this weekend. LOL. Saving, not my strong suit.

[Dena]

We are not asking you for donations, someone as young as you has very little money. The rest of us do have more money and hopefully will donate a little to help keep a good thing going.

Now I know the type of headache you have and yes, I do know about them. The best thing you can do is avoid anything flashing and when working with the computer, make sure the room is well lit. If possible stay away from fluorescent lighting and I am not real sure about LED lights but they may be safe. Incandescent lights are safe if you can find them as is sunlight. Also watch out for action movies because they switch around so fast in them that they could trigger a headache as well.

I don't have problems with headaches but if I spend a day under fluorescent lights, I get wired by the end of the day.

[Murplethepurple]

I know you are not asking for donations from me but I would still donate a little if I could. Thanks for the tips about the headaches. Apparently the internet is more trustworthy than what I give it credit for. (i don't even trust google) What do you mean wired and now I have no idea how we came to be talking about this.

[Dena]

Wired means jumpy. It's harder to concentrate and you feel like you want to go somewhere but you don't know where. it's kind of what you feel when you have fear without the fear.

As for the internet, you do need to check everything but you did find this site and it has been helpful.

Have your parents talked about therapy or how your are going to handle school yet. If you are not home schooled, there will be some issues for you to appear as a female.

[Murplethepurple]

Ok. I know what you are talking about being wired. Yes we have talked about school and we talked to the head of the school (it is very small and she knows all the kids by first name) and we have come to the conclusion that I will go to school this year dressed in the boys clothes. Which the only difference is that I wont be able to wear a skirt. I will change in the boys bathroom in a stall for sports and and P.E. The only reason I won't be going to school as a girl is because we have already registered me in school as male. The real big change is in the weeks leading up to school my family and I will be talking with the school board and administrators about bullying rules to add to the handbook. I will also have my gender hidden in the online directory and I will be able to tell students and facilty that I am female. Which is not that difficult since girls are aloud to wear shorts and pants to school. Basicly I get to be myself except I have to use the boys bathroom until next school year.  The school is going to have a therapist with experience dealing with trans teens come in once a week and I will talk to them. I will get escused from class and I give up one of my study halls to go to the class i miss.

[Dena]

Sound like a bunch of stuff has happened in the time you have been without a computer. It also sounds like you will be well taken care of.
Tell your parents thank you from me for being so understanding. I don't always see things turn out so well.