Hi everyone. I was thinking about this subject matter a little bit earlier. I was thinking about how it seems like I have learned a very valuable lesson about gender in society.
Whether it was being told to assume the role of a male for the first 18 yrs of my life, which I hated, or now living as nothing but fully expressive as a female no matter what anyone has to say about it.
Both of these adaptations were just boxes that I had to stay in, and then miss out on alot of other experiences for growth.
I was in the box of hiding away my female self and going incognito as a boy, just for the school system. Why? Because my parents told me it was what was safest for me, even though I had started progressively and secretly dabbing into the more feminine world by the time I was in high school.
I would no way have ever considered myself living as a male or adapting in a masculine way, though I retained the outer shell of what could be looked at and not slide to far from androgynous.
I stayed in the middle as much as I could, though it was unsatisfying.
I had eventually learned that it's much more complex than that you are a male or female, ONLY.
I got to a point of so desperately wanting to be seen as female and feminine that even that turned into a prison sentence.
I do have certain unhealed feelings towards what it means to be masculine or a man for that matter, though I eventually realized that the concept of the common A-hole had nothing to do with what that is.
Rather, the "men" displaying that were still boys and not displaying what is considered a healthy, mature divine masculine as they call it in spiritual circles.
I didn't have men in my family that I considered role models in anyway, so it was easy for me to jump the gun and stereotype that men were inherently bad and unpure, whilst women were the victims.
This way of thinking was not healthy for me, and then I eventually needed to look inward. I needed to see the fact that women are equally guilty of most of the status quo in society.
There's many women not expressing their divine feminine either, rather, becoming more dominant and basically getting revenge on men for their ways many years ago. This was way before my time.
Anyway, I realized that my ideal is to be a free spirited individual. The gender of me shall remain what my body has or what ever I feel most comfortable with.
I personally identify as female, though that does not define who I am as an individual.
I find great joy in the concepts of being feminine, though at the same time I need to see that the version of masculinity that was displayed to me was not in alignment with truth or love in any way.
That is what I have learned about gender so far in my journey. What have you learned in your's?
