Please ... I need advice.

[smiling_wolfie]

(I apologize for the rant and if this is in the wrong section, im rushing out the door to work.)
I'm just so anxious that when I start up sessions with the gender clinician (within a couple of weeks), she's going to either say that I don't qualify for HRT (testosterone and top surgery), put me through a bunch of other specialists who'll turn me down, question my family (who's in serious denial since I've hid it so well all these years ... I have zero support or belief) I'm afraid she's going to just plain dub me as 'not queer enough' 🙁 I don't need any more stress...
I'm so upset... I'm doing this all by myself (I will be turning 18 in November) I know that I am supposed to be a man ... all my life I have known. But because of society and the way my family is, (and I've been bullied) I continued to dress as the gender I'm labeled (female.) It offends me so bad and just, ugh. Please, advice. 🙁

[AndrewB]

Deep breaths, Wolfie, there's no point worrying over all this until you've actually met with your gender clinician, as no one here has any idea what to expect. However, if they're constantly working with trans patients, they (and you) should know that there's no such thing as "not trans enough," so if they shoot you down with that label, just find another specialist ASAP. Maybe, if possible, you could ask your parents to see a gender therapist with you, so you have someone that can act as an advocate for your cause and maybe sway your parents a little.

Just keep yourself as happy and healthy as possible, it'll all work out.  🙂

[suzifrommd]

Hi Wolfie. Welcome to Susan's. 

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I don't know where you're from, so I don't know how it is. I know the WPATH guidelines 🔗 [Link: wpath.org/uploaded_​files/140/files/Standards%20​of%20​Care,%20​V7%20​Full%20​Book.pdf/], which supposedly govern transition related care for trans people have this to say (last paragraph on page 25):

It is important for mental health professionals to recognize that decisions about hormones are
first and foremost a client's decisions

In other words, it is improper for them to declare you not trans enough. It simply is not their decision. It's yours.

However, there are backward countries where this doesn't apply and the old model where the medical folk are all-powerful gatekeepers.

Some people have had success by informing their doctors that they're going to start hormones anyway with or without them and they can either give you the care you deserve by allowing you to do that safely or let you come to harm by ducking their professional responsibility. (Though don't carry through on this threat. Self-medicating is DANGEROUS.)

Please keep checking back. People here have a lot of experience dealing with gatekeepers.

Hugs and good luck. You have a lot more power than you think you have.

[smiling_wolfie]

Thank you everyone who has replied! You have brought me some comfort and it is much appreciated.

[Laura_7]

Here are a few thoughts that might help you:

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,192499.msg1716659.html#msg1716659

and this resource might help, too:
hawaii.edu/hivandaids/Some_Considerations_in_Coming_Out_Trans_to_Your_Parents_and_Family.pdf

The website with the unicorns dad is very emotional...
and disregard the comments, some are not really helpful...
if you feel like it call or use the chat on one of the helplines given in the top link...
and you might look up transgender helplines in your country...

There are many transgender people... so you are one of many...

and don't be nervous concerning the therapist... they should be helpful... otherwise look for another, or tell them 


big *hugs*