Realization of already being 80% female in the first place...

[mnrjpf99]

This post may seem kinda random, but I am very random at times anyway. Lol
Anyway; I was thinking about things in my life and was thinking if someone asked me about my gender identity as far as my sexuality, I would have to answer male. If I was asked about my identity on the inside, I would say female.
I have always felt like a girl all of my life. I lived my life as a guy for the most part. I never did the whole trying girls clothes on a full scale level. I would wear girls pants and stuff because they fit me better and it was a good excuse to be able to wear them. I am small framed anyway. My girl pants could have past for guy pants though.
I have always been way more comfy with females than males. Most of my female friends have made the comment "I think it's cool to have you as a friend cuz you're like one of the girls." Mind you my friends are not aware of how I feel inside. I guess my "girlyism's" show a lot.
My mom took the DES drugs to prevent miscarriage. It is believed that it may be a reason why some are transgender. I have read that during early pregnancy, the "boy switch" gets flipped psychically but not mentally. I am not sure how true it is but it makes sense to me.
The funny thing is that I am pretty much female mentally and psychically with the exception of male parts and sexual preference. I mostly feel and think like a girl. I admit that I HATE mirrors because who I see in the mirror is not me. :0\
I have the psychical build of a small boned female. Finding clothes can suck! Normally my waist is 27 to 28. My shoe size is a 6 wide. When I buy a shirt size small, it's often big on me. Lol
The point is I consider myself already about 80% female in the first place. Due to aging and such; even though I am small, I still am sorta getting boobs. That's fine cuz at least they are not tubby man boobs. Lol Sometimes I feel like I am going through puberty again because sometimes they itch and sting like hell. Lol Sorry if that was TMI.
The kinda strange thing is that I sometimes I get pain down below in my stomach where the ovaries would be at the same time I have the booby discomfort. I mentioned it to the DR and she had no answers. I have to admit that I wonder if I have extra parts. If I do, they are staying there. Lol
Sorry for the randomness.
Sometimes I feel very alone with all of this. I haven't told anyone I know about myself or the way I feel.
I hope you all don't think I am a nut case. :0\

[CosmicJoke]

I have had these feelings before as well with the thought of having menstrual cramps. It was possibly psychosomatic, though I have had that before.
I noticed people for the most part are very uninclined to believe you have the parts, though I have researched and heard that those of the male sex can have these cramps as well even if they don't have a uterus.
It's worth exploring and researching it if you think you do. I have no IS diagnosis, and have no female sex organs (besides brain) that I know of.
Though, hey, some people don't discover these things until much later in life, if at all...
What I did find out though was that whether I was intersexed or not had no bearing on who I am as a person or how feminine I am. It's all about the soul...

[mnrjpf99]

I agree with you that it's who you are on the inside that matters. I doubt that I have extra parts too, but I need to have an ultrasound for a different reason at some point soon and I will have then take a look just because. Lol

[Dena]

We are different physically. You are small and I am huge but inside we are both women. While at times I consider my self abnormal or nuts, I do in good humor. You are not nuts, you are one of us. It takes time to accept ourselves for what we are but I can tell you it's worth it to tell the world were to go. We march to the beat of a different drummer and unlike many people who live day after day without happiness, we can achieve true happiness.

You have many sisters and brother here who understand you. You may feel alone where you are but you have much company here so just remember you are not alone in the world as we are here with you.

[mnrjpf99]

I am glad to see that others feel a lot as I do and am glad for the support.