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How to live not passing?

Started by Angieisalone, July 28, 2015, 10:58:04 AM

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stephaniec

there is a girl  I've seen in my neighborhood for the past 20 years. I think she started transitioning when I first saw her when I moved to the neighborhood . When I first saw her it was quite obvious she had just started her journey. I have always been very impressed by her determination to be herself. She was full time from day one. She's built like a tackle on the universities football team. She works at the University I live across the street from. To be honest her looks were quite male. She's made a lot of progress in the 20 years. The thing is she is who she is like the great Janis Joplin was who she was. She not the Greta Garbo type she just a normal woman . She facing her flaws and winning. I respect her a lot even though I've never talked to her. I'm pretty sure she knows I'm transitioning because we see each other all the time in passing on the street. She is one gutsy lady. I've seen her in mini skirts going to work. I think even after 20 years most people would probably guess she's trans. Some people just have anatomy's that don't change a lot , but she is continuing to change and soften, but its very incremental . I'd like to talk to her some time and I think if I stay around here, which I plan to I probably will.  She has obviously gone through a lot in her transition and has obviously a strength deep with in her to overcome  the many obstacles of being true to your self.
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Lady Smith

Angieisalone, quite a few cis women don't fit that well with what society thinks a woman should look like either.  I live in a small country town in a farming district and there are women I see most days around town who could be considered to be of indeterminate gender.  Speaking for myself after it being over twenty years since my transition I couldn't care less what anyone thinks of my ability to 'pass' (whatever that is).  I'm fairly plain faced, my hair is grey and I don't wear makeup unless it's a special occasion, - and then it will only be moisturiser and lipstick.

The things that made the greatest difference for me was getting my facial hair zapped and being on HRT.  Once that was done I considered myself to be no longer of male appearance.  Not for one moment would I have considered FFS and I certainly wouldn't now despite having inherited my grandmother's 'coal barge' jaw and having facial scaring on my left cheek.  As a social worker I was constantly face to face with other people and apart from two minor incidents in my career where clients outright rejected me I was fine.  It's all about owning who you are and not letting others define who you are.  And yes I know it's not always easy, but either you simply roll up your sleeves and get on with it or else you stay at home for the rest of your life hiding in your bedroom.

Going by your photo I can see plenty for you to work with btw.  You have really nice clear skin for a start.
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brianna1016

Quote from: Angieisalone on July 31, 2015, 11:29:55 PM
That really doesn't help.
I want to pass as a cis person, not a trans person.
I feel your pain and I've said the exact same thing at a transgender support group.

Are there times when you do pass? Even just for an hour?
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Angieisalone

Quote from: brianna1016 on August 01, 2015, 06:45:35 AM
I feel your pain and I've said the exact same thing at a transgender support group.

Are there times when you do pass? Even just for an hour?

It's about an 80 : 20 ratio with male being the 80%
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brianna1016

Quote from: Angieisalone on August 03, 2015, 08:02:59 PM
It's about an 80 : 20 ratio with male being the 80%
What are you doing differently when you do pass?
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