Hi All,
Well, I thought things were going pretty good even tho it was only my second session, my therapist again said, "Ok, so you are already on HRT?" to which I replied, "No, I told you that last time I was here." She gave me an odd look and continued with some other questions, which I answered truthfully. She asked if any relatives were Bipolar, to which I told her "Only my step sister as far as I know" I then told her I know I am not Bipolar, that I have friends that are treated for that, it is very different than my issue, very different. She said, "Sometimes Bipolar can mimic GD" I told her I think that is hogwash and if anything GD could cause Bipolar or other mental disorders. We agreed to disagree. But I agreed to answer her Bipolar diagnostic questions. I answered her Bipolar Quiz. I failed on the sleeping part. I don't sleep normal hours. Never have. She wanted to talk more about my sleeping, I did not. I brought up hormones.
This is where things got interesting. She asked me "Are you taking over the counter hormones that you got from a friend or the internet?" I answered "No, I told you all the medicine I am on including the vitamins and supplements I take, I gave you a list. Why would I even be here if I was self medicating?" to which she said "Well..." she then drew an hourglass from my hips up to my breasts in the air, cupping her hands at the end "How do you explain all this? How do you have breasts? Do you have estrogen in your system right now?" I said "I guess a little, did you not get my lab work from my doctor yet? I had all my hormone levels tested a few weeks back? I don't know what the numbers are, but I do want to know" at this point I felt like she was accusing me of something. I said "Look they grew in, maybe I wished them there, I don't know but this is part of what my Doctor is looking into. I had breast buds when I hit puberty but I got rid of them." she said "If you were growing breasts at puberty, you can't just get rid of them." to which I replied, "Yes I did, by changing my diet and doing testosterone supplements my friends got from Mexico, as well as thousands upon thousands of pushups and bench presses, I was scared to have breasts back then, I am not scared now." she said, "Yes... see, you told me this at our last session, that you got illegal supplements when you were young. If you did it then what is stopping you now? to which I replied "Ok fine, thanks for the Idea, I guess I will go look on the internet for my HRT needs." She says, very boldly "Do not self medicate, is is very dangerous and I will report that to your Doctor, look I will need to evaluate you for at least 3 months before even considering having you start HRT perhaps longer, and if I see any changes that indicate you may be taking illegal hormones I will prevent you from getting HRT thru your doctor." At this point I was getting very angry. I said "Look, I know I can get hormones and take them without a Doctor or therapist, but I know that is stupid and possibly even fatal. I am not stupid... Do you know what Intersex is? You said you did when we first met but I think you don't have a clue. All I have done is change my diet and exercise routines and stopped fighting off my female soul and you are accusing me of taking hormones. Telling me if there are more changes you will prevent me from getting HRT. I can't stop the changes, it is who I am! I think you DO need to talk to my Doctor, instead of making blind assumptions. I am paying out of pocket for theses sessions , dammit! You are waisting my time and money. You spent 20 minutes trying to diagnose me with Bipolar disorder, that is not why I was sent to you!" She said, "ohhhh... I guess you probably won't want to keep me as a therapist." She could tell I was pissed. But I calmed down, smiled and said "No I will keep you, I like you, up until the point where you started accusing me of things. Look, I signed permission for you to get my medical records the first day I was here, why have you not got them, all my hormone levels are in my lab reports, maybe you should check those. I came to this session prepared, maybe you need to get your ->-bleeped-<- together, and you will be prepared for our next session." her mouth dropped open. I walked out.
I called my Doctor today and she was shocked that I was treated that way. She says there has been no request for my records yet, she is faxing them to the therapist today with a long letter. I wish I could read what that letter says, my Doctor was not happy with the way I was drilled by my therapist. Can a therapist dump me?
in the therapists defense,...
I am hella sexy. :p
I have B cup breasts, pushing for Cs.
I have very little body hair. Naturally.
I GLOW all feminin even with little or no makeup.
My butt and hips are getting nice and curvy.
I have nice legs.
I have long beautiful hair.
I have dazzling bright blue eyes.
and I am stuck on myself!, teehee, Ever since I accepted my femininity I love the woman I see emerging! I never liked pictures of me before, I love them now, and in the mirror I see the woman I am becoming more often than the man I once was.
-Jade
