I came out to my mom

[Far_from_Grace]

Hello, I originally came out to my parents as a gay male 3 years ago when I was 20. However, I've always known I was female. From a very young age I can remember wishing I was a girl.

I came out to my parents as a gay male because even though I knew I was female, I had decided that I didn't want to transition, and that I would live my life as a gay male. I was (and still am) scared of the idea of transitioning, although it is something I have wanted my whole life. I am scared of being ostracized by family members and people in general. I know they said that everyone's opinions don't matter as long as your happy, however I am a very self conscious person, and I don't do well with negativity, which has been the cause of my depression.

Although I hadn't planned to, my mom and I were talking during dinner, and I decided to ask her if she understood what it meant to be transgender. She knew the something, and I tried to explain other things. She works with transgender woman, so it wasn't new to her. She was very supportive and said that she will always love me no matter what I am.

Living as a gay male has been difficult when it comes to relationships, as I am only attracted to masculine men.

I've told my therapist this, and she was supportive. I am going to buy a few books, but other than that I am not sure how to proceed as my therapist's speciality isn't in gender.

[JLT1]

Congrats!!!

A huge first step!   And support!  GREAT!

Hugs

Jen

[Confetti]

Congratulations on taking the first step, I hope I will join you soon!
Goodluck with your transition!

[Dena]

Welcome to Susan's place. First, ask your therapist for a reference to somebody who can help you. Other options include looking under links at the top of the page for doctors in your area. Community gender groups are also a possible source of information.

You will also have additional questions as time goes on and the people here are a great resource. In my case, I am post surgical 33 years but I needed information on voice surgery because therapy was never able to give me a truly feminine voice. They answered all my questions and I had surgery two weeks ago. Thanks to there assistance I know I received the best of care and can't wait for the surgery to heal enough that I can put the voice to the test.

In your case, you may have any number of questions and as you mother is understanding, she may be willing to help you work out your image. Something else you should consider now is hair removal. It takes a long time and you need 3 days of growth before treatment. Many people switch to full time and then have to deal with facial hair. Laser seems to be the fastest way to go but it only works for some types of hair. Electrolyses works for everything but is slow. Others can give you more advice on this as laser wasn't available when my face was cleaned up.

Should you have anymore questions, post them on this tread and anyone who has posted here will see your question and respond if they know the answer.

[CrysC]

+1 to what Dena said.
I'd find a therapist who has a more appropriate background and start things like hair removal also.
For the voice aspect, start practicing now.  Even with surgery you still to do things like use more breath, raise your pitch, don't speak in your chest, etc..  After a year I can now listen to a recording and say it's not clearly male but not clearly female either. 
far as therapist goes, listen to Yoda.  Therapist leads to doctor, doctor leads to hormones, hormones lead to happiness!

[Ms Grace]

Hey Far_from_Grace

Welcome to Susan's    Great to have you here - looking forward to seeing you around the forum.

You seem to have a supportive mother and that's great. A lot of people have kept themselves from transitioning due to fears and concerns about being ostracised or ridiculed by family and friends. When they did transition some of that was realised but also some of it was totally the opposite. The thing is, we cannot know until we're on the path and things are changing. The good thing is you don't have to come out until you are ready - that might mean any number of things but I agree with the others above, Discuss the matter with your counsellor, just because their speciality isn't gender doesn't mean they can't help - even if it's just to refer you on to someone else it is a start.

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Cheers

Grace