A little depressed after coming out.

[rachel89]

For anyone here who doesn't know, I came out to my parents on Friday. It was pretty scary and not at all fun, but it was important to do and somewhat of a relief. Although they handled it okay (for now at least), I am still kind of uncertain about my future and I have been a little depressed all weekend. Did anyone who was in a situation where their parents were not horrible, but still had a post-coming out depression type of thing going on?

[stephaniec]

never been through that , but the biggest mountain has been conquered so good luck.

[MeghanMe]

It's easy to get a little depressed after big events, especially when life just goes on as usual. And it sounds like you still have some uncertainty about what your parents will eventually do. Waiting and uncertainty are super hard (at least, for me). You still took a big step! Be proud of yourself!

[Wednesday]

I think it is understandable. This is just one of your first steps into transition, still a long way to go. In my opinion it's pretty normal to have a certain degree of uncertainity (whatever your parents attittude is) and a bit of melancholy.

Take it easy girl, just keep making steps and work for it.

Onwards on your path!

[Molly Frances]

I have been trying to put myself in the place of others, especially my family, which I have found somewhat helpful. I guess there are really many reasons for people reacting negatively to our coming out. For family, it probably has to do with the shattering of expectations or assumptions about who they thought we were -- their son becoming a dad and raising a family. Add to that the general societal and religious discomfort regarding gender variant identities and it's no wonder we need to be patient and kind with others to allow them time accept who we are.

[Isabelle]

Well done keep going

[Ms Grace]

It seems counter intuitive, I know. But it's more common than you think. You should feel happy following a positive outcome but there is a nagging sense of unease that just deflates the moment. Just make sure you keep talkinga bout it... what is at the core of the unease?

[rachel89]

I'm still worried about getting a job, and the process seems so slow right now, because I don't have any money and it doesn't seem like a good idea to ask for help with hair removal or HRT right now. They are willing to pay for therapy, but I don't want to push the envelope right now. I've a little sad, tired, hungry, and irritable all weekend. It still kind of feels like there is an elephant in the room, and I am wondering why I am wearing male clothing around them.

[Ms Grace]

Sometimes these things take a bit of time to settle down. Coming out as trans is a whole different proposition to coming out as gay... in the latter case it usually means making public something that had been happening in private anyway. For trans people it really makes a lot of difference to how long in the process of transition they are (if indeed that's what they want to do). When I tried to transition some 20 years ago I started telling people almost straight away but then continued presenting as male for much of that time. This time I waited until I was very close to going full time before I told the majority of people. So yes, you may feel uncomfortable around them still presenting as male, that's perfectly understandable - and yet you may not feel comfortable presenting as female either. See if it's something you can discuss with them

[Molly Frances]

I think Grace has provided great advice based on her personal experience. I too am at this phase of transition, and I can only imagine that the feeling you are describing are somewhat normal. Speaking of your symptoms of depression has caused me to reflect on the past week and the anxiety I have experienced both anticipating the reaction of others and simultaneously beginning this new journey in earnest. Now there is this new unfamiliar road ahead which can be extremely unsettling. The goal has been determined,and now I must deal with the lengthy and relatively difficult task ahead to realize that goal. Fortunately, with resources like this we don't have to go it alone.