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What's it like

Started by KatelynBG, August 10, 2015, 12:33:02 PM

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KatelynBG

To go more than 2-3 minutes not thinking about your gender? It didn't used to be like this. I enjoyed being in deep denial, now I can't get that demon to go away. If I transition will these thoughts go away for good or will I be obsessed over not getting clocked all the time, just as obsessively as I think about my gender right now?

Is there light at the end of the tunnel?
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Took

I've been wondering much the same thing today. It occurred to me about twoish that my gender and dysphoria and transgenderness had been playing on my mind all day, yet again. It feels lately that I can't go that long without my thoughts straying back to all of this, of the hatred of my male body growing and the desire to be female intensifying. At one point today I felt odd, as if I'd been screaming my head off when I knew I'd only been sitting there in silence. I guess (or at least hope) it'll go down with time as things progress, or at least move onto other things, but for now I know how much it sucks to be stuck thinking about the same thing over and over and over :-\.
"All the pain you've been through
Will be the making of you
Tear the heart in two
It'll be the making of you."

Biro, Honeyblood
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suzifrommd

Quote from: KatelynBG on August 10, 2015, 12:33:02 PM
Is there light at the end of the tunnel?

Well, yes and no. A trans friend and I gave this a name: Gender Identity Preoccupation, GIP. Unless I'm pretty distracted, I still think about my gender every couple minutes.

But they're mostly good thoughts. I'm accepted as a woman by everyone now except myself (some of the time), and it's so much more natural than being a man.

Have you read my short story The Eve of Triumph?
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Jessica Merriman

Quote from: KatelynBG on August 10, 2015, 12:33:02 PM
Is there light at the end of the tunnel?

A big huge YES from me!! :) I have gone from being so exhausted acting male all day to relaxed and loving life. I have been at the nervous point, terrified point, accepting point and now when I go out it is not "Am I passing", but trying not to forget the items I am going shopping for. Life is I hate to use the word "normal" now. I have no preoccupation except living life itself. :)
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Atria

Transitioning is all your own pace. For me I was anticipating hormones so much and couldn't get it off my mind especially when I made progress towards getting them. When I got hormones I just became happy and It's not really a thing anymore. :) But that's just me. I can't say this is how everyone is.


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