How to deal with knowing no one will be there when you wake up from surgery?

[2fish]

I'm having surgery next week with Dr. Garramone. Today I asked my mother is she would like to be there when I woke up from surgery. Her reply was simple, "No". I said it was okay and we changed the topic. I honestly wanted to cry, but I held back. I love my mother and I can't force her to be there if she doesn't feel like she can handle it. A few hours have past and I'm not sure how I feel. I will have someone dropping me off to surgery and then picking me up later. I have a place to stay but will try to be as self-sufficient as possible. I feel kinda lonely and like no one understands me in my family except for my underage brother that thinks I'm the coolest person ever. Knowing that no one will be there when I wake up from surgery is hard to wrap my mind around. I can't believe that after all I've done from my family that I will be left to fend for myself on what's going to be the most emotional day of my life. I feel as though all I have to hold on to are my hopes, dreams and ambitions for my future. If I continue to hold on to these 3 things I know what I will do great things. I still can't believe that I will be alone when I wake up from surgery. If anyone has any encouraging words, please share. I'd like to hear from you. Thank You!

[Laura_7]

*hugs*

Make a posting here.
People will support you.

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/--4RunaIvmLY/VEYiNjnANNI/AAAAAAAAWTg/jKyI_Jz8abU/s1600/zodiac+signs+flowers+astrological+wiki.jpg


You might talk again to one or two of your relatives, saying it would mean much to you and if they would be able to give you some support there.
Another option could be a friend...


again many *hugs*

and... it will pass and you will be all right in any case 

[Tysilio]

A friend would be good.

Even a volunteer, either someone in your local trans community or from the hospital, might be better than waking up alone (which you won't be, of course, but medical people doing their thing aren't the same as someone holding your hand).  You could probably arrange that through the hospital's social work department, and even meet the person ahead of time and get to know them.

There are some wonderful people who volunteer at hospitals.

[Serenation]

Hi Tysilio, I got dropped off for srs at 6am I sat there alone till lunchtime till I went into theatre, woke up for a couple of seconds in icu, then woke next morning in my room to being served breakfast. So I wasn't alone... so to speak as there is nurses and staff around. My mum and friends did come and see me that night.

I was kinda ok with it, had lots of thinking to do and getting used to being me. I feel stronger for it too. Im sure you will be ok if you do have to go alone. You might be surprised how strong you are.

[Evolving Beauty]

In 2012, after my boobs surgery I return back home alone by metro.

[invisiblemonsters]

my mom and brother weren't there RIGHT after surgery but a few hours after so i didn't see them when i woke up even though they waited for my surgery to be done, they waited for me to be up fully. they stayed for a bit after but not long because i basically slept the whole time after my surgery, i was exhausted. after that, i stayed at a recovery house for a few days after. my mom and brother would come for a few hours but i mostly stayed in my room and watched tv or slept. although i was around a lot of people who had surgery (we all stayed at the same recovery house), i didn't really wanna socialize. honestly, you're gonna be too tired and too overwhelmed to care that no one will be there imo at least.

[AnonyMs]

Is there any chance your brother could be there? Maybe your mother would be with that, even if she can't handle it herself.

Or have a computer with Skype ready so you can talk to friends. Maybe just a cell phone?

I've been for surgery alone a few times and its never bothered me. It may be because I don't think of it as anything special, and it takes quite a while before I start getting lonely. I get bored a lot quicker. The care in hospitals is generally very good, so its more for moral support than anything.

[Tysilio]

Hospital polices differ around when they'll let "civilians" near a surgery patient: some insist that visitors wait until a person is out of the recovery unit and back in a room, which seems hard on the patient, but I guess it's understandable from their point of view.

If you don't already know, it would be worth finding out ahead ahead of time how they handle this.

[sam1234]

I'm sure it hurts to know that there is some rejection as far as your mother refusing to go with you.
If you have a friend who knows, or the person dropping you off can stay, it might not be the same, but it would still be someone you know.

The chest surgery is the least painful and the least stressful. If you plan on having more surgery in the future, start now finding someone who will go with you and stay.

Unfortunately, we are not well received by family members and friends. That can result in anger and depression. Try not to dwell on the bad and think more about the freedom you are gaining. Consider it a passage into manhood.

sam1234

[kira21 ♡♡♡]

I did recovery from surgery without bringing family or friends with me.  Choking,  struggling to breathe, see or move by yourself with swollen airways and face, in pain in a hotel room 24 hours after serious facial surgery,  worrying that you were going to die and how you ended up so unvalued that nobody would be there with you, was one of the most horrid experiences I have endured and honey, my life, like many of us, has been no picnic. 

That is the reason why people say we are brave. We have to be.  I would do it again in a heart beat for the trade that had to be made,  for less pain day to day.  It broke my heart more than it did my mind or my soul tho. Be prepared.

[Alexthecat]

I personally didn't want anyone there when I woke up. I just had to have someone in the waiting room to drive me home. You should check with the surgeon because some don't let visitors into the recovery room until you are awake anyway.

[cole.castro.89]

Thanks everyone. I'm officially 2 weeks post op and I've got great news. Everything went well. I recovered quickly. I needed very little help. I stayed with my boss and his wife. Two very amazing people. I did consider my top surgery my passage into manhood. It went amazing.

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[Tysilio]

Congratulations! I'm glad everything went well for you, and here's a big shout-out to your boss and his wife. Now that's what I'd call a supportive workplace!

[stephaniec]

congrats