Your gender not taken seriously

[Redcarpet1200]

Hello
I first heard of non binary genders from tumblr. However, people of tumblr tend to go overboard with non binary genders such as galaxygender, stargender etc. Because of this, most people tend to think that non binary genders are an Internet phenomenon that millenials are coming up with. People think that non binary genders are a phase and not to be taken seriously. How often does your gender not taken seriously? How do you feel about these assumptions?

[Mariah]

Hi Redcarpet1200, welcome to Susan's. Only one time was it not taken seriously. It was when I corrected a store clerk and he really didn't give a rip. I reported it to store management and I haven't seen him sense so they must have dealt with or relocated him or whatever, but regardless solved the issue. I look forward to seeing you around the forums.
Good Luck and Hugs
Mariah

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[suzifrommd]

Hi RC1200, welcome to Susan's.

I find very few people take non-binary genders seriously and most people would claim that they don't exist. Unfortunately people are programs to see people as members of one of the two binary genders, and even if you explain it to them, they have trouble imagining that such people could exist.

I wish I had something hopeful to say. I ended up transitioning to live as a woman because I couldn't find a non-binary presentation I was comfortable with. People see NB folks as "rebels", "people who just want to be different", or "free spirits". Even here on Susan's we get some trans people who have trouble wrapping their arms around what it means to be non-binary.

However there are a lot of non-binary people who post here. Some of them may have some tips for you. There is an entire non-binary section that's probably worth looking at.

[Redcarpet1200]

Hi RC1200, welcome to Susan's.

I find very few people take non-binary genders seriously and most people would claim that they don't exist. Unfortunately people are programs to see people as members of one of the two binary genders, and even if you explain it to them, they have trouble imagining that such people could exist.

I wish I had something hopeful to say. I ended up transitioning to live as a woman because I couldn't find a non-binary presentation I was comfortable with. People see NB folks as "rebels", "people who just want to be different", or "free spirits". Even here on Susan's we get some trans people who have trouble wrapping their arms around what it means to be non-binary.

However there are a lot of non-binary people who post here. Some of them may have some tips for you. There is an entire non-binary section that's probably worth looking at.

Ah see, that's the kicker. People think that non binary people are not choosing male or female just to be rebels. I admit, I did think that non binary genders was an Internet phenomenon a made by millenials (I'm a millenial btw). However from looking at places like susans, it seems that there might be some validity to it. I didn't know that a lot of non binary people can have dysphoria.

I do have a feeling that maybe non binary people are confusing gender stereotypes with gender. Just because you're a male wearing dresses doesn't mean you're female. Just because you're a female wearing a tuxedo doesn't mean you're male. For example, I thought non binary people came to the conclusion to their gender like "I like dresses, and I like trucks....I must be non binary!" Sorry of for my ignorance, but that's how I viewed non binary genders, and I still hold some of that prejudice. But I'm enlightening myself.

[suzifrommd]

However from looking at places like susans, it seems that there might be some validity to it.

Well, I can tell you from personal experience that there is validity. I'm very comfortable living as a woman (I'm male assigned at birth) but there is a part of my identity that tells me I'm male in some ways at some times that is hard to explain. It doesn't have to do with gender stereotypes. It has to do with what my brain tells me my gender is. Make sense?

(And I'm not a millenial BTW...)

[Redcarpet1200]

I see, I now know one non millenial whos non binary haha. I'm starting to understand non binary genders little by little. Do people ask you "why can't you just accept that you're a woman who's not feminine?"

[suzifrommd]

I see, I now know one non millenial whos non binary haha. I'm starting to understand non binary genders little by little. Do people ask you "why can't you just accept that you're a woman who's not feminine?"

Well generally not, because I don't tell a lot of people I'm NB. To them, I'm just a garden variety trans girl. And I am feminine, in most ways. My gender presentation and my gender expression are 100% female. But for my gender identity - the gender messages my brain gives me are mixed.

[Redcarpet1200]

If you had the option, would you present yourself gender neutral and have gender neutral pronouns?

[iKate]

I don't know any non binary people in person. I do know a few here and they are all over the age spectrum. Maybe because you mainly associate with millenials that's why you're only meeting millenials who are nb.

[Redcarpet1200]

I don't know any non binary people in person. I do know a few here and they are all over the age spectrum. Maybe because you mainly associate with millenials that's why you're only meeting millenials who are nb.

Probably, the first time I've heard on olnon binary genders was on tumblr. I encountered a lot of nb people on tumblr and of course mostly young people use tumblr. I had the assumption that people who are claiming to be nb are just trying to win special points and itsee just a phase. However after doing some research and browsing in this forum, I'm starting to understand.

[suzifrommd]

If you had the option, would you present yourself gender neutral and have gender neutral pronouns?

I do have that option. I could do that if I want, but I think people will still be trying gender me as one of the two binary genders. We're programmed to gender people. Most people do it unconsciously.

But I don't want people uncomfortable around me, so I prefer to present as one of the two binary genders.

[Redcarpet1200]

I do have that option. I could do that if I want, but I think people will still be trying gender me as one of the two binary genders. We're programmed to gender people. Most people do it unconsciously.

But I don't want people uncomfortable around me, so I prefer to present as one of the two binary genders.

I understand. In most society, we gender everything conciously and subconsciously because it's so ingrained into our brains.