How do you know if your new name is right for you?

[Khatru]

I've been struggling with this issue for quite a while. I've gone by the name Lo now for about 4 months (swedish gender-neutral name) but when I started looking for new names I was also considering the name Dorian, but I thought that I'd rather have a neutral name. Now I'm not so sure. Now I think Lo sounds too feminine and reminds me of my old name and I haven't gotten the name Dorian out of my head, I feel really connected to it. But how do I know which name is really *mine* and not something I'm gonna regret in a few years time? How did you guys know that your new name was just right?

[MugwortPsychonaut]

I took what my mom would have named me. I always liked the name, and she was flattered that I went with it. Easy-peasy.

[Khatru]

Seems like a good idea. My mum never had a backup name for me because she's stated that she "always knew you were a girl"  ._.

[Swayallday]

I took what my mom would have named me. I always liked the name, and she was flattered that I went with it. Easy-peasy.

Haha i'm really considering this to be the prime solution.

Too many names to choose from so OP I have same issue as you

I thought about translating values that are important to me towards another language and see what I can come up with but who knows how that might backfire 

[Tamika Olivia]

I'm concerned about this as well. I chose Tamika on a whim, and I want to make sure it's a good fit. I think it is, I really love it, but I need to hear it from more voices before I'm going to be absolutely certain.

My friends were using it the other night, and it was... interesting. I think, because up until I came out, it was so intimate, for me only... to have it out in the world is kinda strange. But nice, definitely nice.

And it sure beats the hell out of my birth name, which is like a punch to the stomach every time I hear it.

[KatelynBG]

I've called myself Katelyn for so long that I don't even remember where I got it from. When I use it when I am out, it will not change my initials. I've actually toyed with the idea of making my middle name into my last name. It is a family last name from my mom's side. I won't do that though because my kids have my current last name and that would be confusing for them.

[janetcgtv]

Any name that you like is good for you.

If your Mom realised(keyboard) you are a girl, then the name she had for you should be perfectly fine.

Have a nice day.

[Serenation]

I picked the name my mum chose for me for my middle name, picked my own first name, was a nick name that I liked.I'm happy to go by either.

[Lilith]

I found a name that meant something to me, I've been told by others (not here for sure!) That my name isn't exactly normal. And I'm glad for that, Lilith has meaning to ME. Doesn't have to for others, you just gotta find something that clicks for YOU.

Sent from my SM-G900V using Tapatalk

[phoenix633]

It was a long process. First I picked a neutral name but the very first time I was called it, I was like no way and changed it. Just didn't click. Then I picked one that was the same letter as my birth name and male but didn't feel like mine when I was called it either. So then I picked a name that sounded awesome but it didn't seem to click either. Trying out names for a while is the best way. I tried out 4 or 5 in different settings. I really wanted a name that my mom and dad would like. They never really had a name picked out for me if I was a boy so I just really wanted to know what my name would have been. In the end I realized that I wanted a common name because I just felt more comfortable telling people a name that no would would be like "what, that's unusual?". It made coming out easier for me. I wouldn't have had a weird name if I was born a boy anyways. I just wanted something my parents would like because they have been very supportive. So I went through the top 100 baby boy names in America the year I was born and picked out 5 I liked. I sent it to my best friend and sister and both picked Nick. Then I told my parents and they both loved it and it just rolled off the tongue and was easy for people to switch to and didn't feel awkward. So I'd say just try out names until you like one. My mom ended up in the hospital shortly after picking Nick and wasn't able to speak for a while so there was no way I was going to change it on her then. I like Nick because to me it is a male name but the kinda name that I a girl could be named without it being weird. It could be short for nicole or nikki or something. One day I was doubting it and then a train went by for like 20 minutes and I had to wait for it to pass and near the end one of the train cars had Nick spray painted on it in a really cool way just as I was thinking is this really the right name? It feels good to have a name I'm happy with and not changing. My friend reminded me that the person makes the name no the other way around. I know guys who were given girls names and I don't think of them as girls and can't imagine them with a different name. Just focus on being the most authentic expression of yourself and whatever name you like will become yours. Even if you think your name sounds too feminine now, if you don't feel very feminine and choose to express yourself in a very masculine way people it won't matter.

[Juniper]

I too have had issues knowing whether a name was really "for me" or not. Over the past five years or so, I've changed more times than I'd like to say. I find a name, absolutely love it, and then months later end up feeling like it's just not for me. Hopefully that streak can end soon, haha. I don't really know how you can know a name is really "for you" or not unless you like it, like it when others say it, and like writing and seeing it, written, in my opinion.

[warlockmaker]

My name was Robert, and was always called Bobby by my friends, so its now Roberta and I am called Bobbie. Maybe my parents knew something I didn't know when they named me.

[Khatru]

Any name that you like is good for you.

If your Mom realised(keyboard) you are a girl, then the name she had for you should be perfectly fine.

Have a nice day.

No I mean, I'm transmasc, my mum always knew I was a "girl", thus didn't have a backup boy name for me.

[OlderTG]

I think it might have been here that I read the advice to be aware of how the name you pick fits your age.
A suggestion I took was to look at my old high school yearbook and pick a name from there. Paula is what I picked.
My new first and middle names match my old initials which I think may be good for me - not necessarily for anyone else. I would NOT have picked Paula if my previous name had been Paul, but if someone else feels right with that, why not?

And finally, if you like it, it doesn't matter what you pick. You can use about any strategy you want for picking a name. Keep in mind that the more obscure or unique your name is, the more difficulty people will have with it. If you're ok with that, fine, but try not to be too upset when people don't say it or spell it correctly or when they can't seem to remember it (haha... I can't remember names well at ALL!!)

Good luck and have fun.
Paula

[FTMax]

I wanted my new first and middle names to have initials that matched my birthname so that I wouldn't have to alter my signature. I looked at male baby names starting with M that were popular in my birth year. Wrote them all down.

With the middle name I got a little more creative and looked through all the pages of A names on the same site. Made a list of all the ones I liked.

I decided on the first name first. It was the only name that I really liked from the get go. I legally changed it to a less popular form of the name so it's still pretty unique. After I settled on the first one, I parred down the middle name list to around 10 names, and tried them all out with the rest of my name. That narrowed it down to three. I picked the one I liked the best. Months later, I still love it.

[cheryl reeves]

i went by teresa cheryl til i came out to my wife,she didnt care for teresa but liked cheryl,so i go by cheryl,the reeves was my granmas maiden name. my mom even likes my fem name.

[phoenix633]

Also, maybe a name will never feel perfect. If you ask cis people who have never changed their name, some may love their name but a lot will say I don't know, it's alright it's just always been my name but I don't know if it really fits me but it's just what I've always been called and I don't question it much. Most people are given a name before anyone knows what they will be like and they make the name their own. The main purpose of a name is have a way for people to get your attention and refer to you as. Obviously if you feel like a guy and have a girls name you'd want to change it but I say just figure out do you want a neutral name or male name, do you want a common name for the year you were born or a unique name etc. Pick one that fits your requirements and go with it. It will take time to settle into it. It's good to try different ones out but at some point you gotta just settle on one and stick to it. It's hard enough for people to switch a name once but if you keep changing it it may be hard for them to understand or take you seriously. Not saying you shouldn't change it but I'd move towards trying to find one you are comfortable with enough and just not second guessing it. Just like if you had been born with it, it's just your name but doesn't have to be perfect.

[Mariah]

You need to pick a name that fits you and that represents the person you are. For me I picked a name that always resonated with me. I love the name now more than I did when I chose it. Hugs
Mariah

[HoneyStrums]

well, i wanted a name, that i didnt know anybody by. I didnt want the possibility of a hater going why did you pick my name.

And I suppose, it was the first name i though of, i smiled and said it outloud "Hi my name is vicky".
then after that it became just as much a part of me as my clothes.

as often as i layed awake at night wishing i didnt just dress up in my room, i layed awake wishing I could say "hi my name is vicky" and saying that as well as walking out of my room in my clothes were equal parts of my comming out.

[accidentallyhipster]

I feel like I responded to a similar thread a couple months back, but these are always interesting.

Anyways...

I picked Erin for 3 reasons:
1.) The one side of the family that I can trace comes from all over the UK and Ireland as I think having a name from there would be neat.
2.) I had a friend named Erin who died when I was 15 (Went to her funeral on my 16th birthday) so it's in memory of her.
3.) When I first got to college I had a teacher named Erin, and if it wasn't for her I probably wouldn't have graduated; and without having the resources I've had on campus (therapists and things) I probably wouldn't be transitioning.

As for Laura (my middle) I won't lie it's from Laura Jane Grace. I've been an Against Me! fan since high-school (I'm 25). Watching her come out was a huge, huge inspiration. If one of your heroes is going through the exact same freaking emotions as you are, and doing something about it; what's your excuse for not?

But knowing it's right? I just had a feeling when I settled on it. It may sound odd, but it felt very natural (whatever that word means at this point).

...Oh funny post script to this. While I was trying to figure out how to come out to my Mom, I thought I'll ask her what she would have named me had I been born a girl. I'd have that info, I could be all sneaky and come out. She flat out told me she had my genetics tested in utero, "and knew I'd be a boy" so she didn't even think about it. haha.. It took me another few months to actually come out to her after that plan didn't work.