General "I Need Help" Thread

[FlinchCat]

I think I need to say this here before anything more happens. I'll try to explain.

I am a transgender female. I realized this not a long time ago. It always seems to have existed throughout my life but just now I realize that I was suppressed at a young age by the binary, and this stopped me from doing things that I like. I have conservative parents, so I asked them for some therapy to see what's going on. I should clarify that my parents are good people, just not correct. My mom treated it like a satanic infection that needed to be cured, and refused to bring me anywhere but to other Christians to "correct" this. This disgusts me, and I fear the conflict may elevate. Any advice would be helpful. Thank you in advance.

[suzifrommd]

Hi FC. Welcome to Susan's. 

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It's really hard when parents are not as educated as they could be, and even worse when they are actively opposed to being trans.

I have two suggestions.

First, try to educate your parents best you can. There are only a few things they need to know:
* We don't choose to be transgender. We are born that way.
* It can't be "fixed". No one has ever found a way to take someone who is transgender and make it so they aren't trans anymore.
* It typically doesn't go away on its own.
* It is serious. It can cause severe anxiety and depression among people who ignore it.

Second, is there an adult who can help you deal with your parents? A family friend? A counselor at school maybe, or a teacher. Is there a Gay/Straight alliance at your school? If not, is there a PFLAG in your area?

What you are dealing with is HARD. Give yourself credit for bearing up under tough circumstances. It does get better as you get older, but unfortunately trans young people need a lot of strength.

You will find you are stronger than you think.

[stephaniec]

sorry, I know your in a tough spot, the philosophy your parents go by isn't easy to educate . Like Suzi  say's an approach of seeking a schools counselor's help would probably be the best approach. This is just my personal belief , I can tell you from my own life experience that you need an independent therapist outside of the realm of conservative Christian belief system.. Your situation needs to be dealt with medically. I know its hard for you given your circumstance of being within your parents care. If somehow you can explain your desire for a professional therapist outside of their own strict belief system I feel you will  get a completely objective view of things your dealing with.

[Laura_7]

Here is a resource for transgender people, their parents and med personnel:
http://www.gires.org.uk/assets/DOH-Assets/pdf/doh-transgender-experiences.pdf
(only thing I'd disagree is they state stress on page 7... instead many experience relief)
Its a reputable source, its the british NHS. Its simply down to earth facts, nothing to do with religion.

You could have a look here:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,190486.msg1697083.html#msg1697083

Another option would be to tell parents you want counseling, for emotional reasons, and pick someone who has, amongst others, gender on their list.
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,193402.msg1724373.html#msg1724373

Keep on keeping on... you will succeeed, one way or another.


have a big *hug*

[Dena]

Welcome to Susan's Place. I don't know what you know about transsexualism so I am not sure how much you were able to educate you parents. One thing that might help is I wrote a coming out letter and as you are already out, the letter isn't useful for that. What it can do is show you the talking points and after reading it, come back here with questions you might have and we can provide any additional information you might need to argue effectively. Changing peoples mind is hard and it may not be possible to get your parents on your side but we will help you all we can.
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,190312.0.html

[FlinchCat]

I'd like to thank you all, especially Suzi, for his/her/zir good points. I suppose I should let out some information:

I'm 13.
My family is almost entirely Christian (I think, or at least not supporting of who I am, though I think I have a place... over 500 miles away in SoCal)
As for counselling, I used to have a therapist, but she was fired. Given the current situation my mum and dad would only hire Christian counselling.
I have gone through depression before. I'm sure I can handle it this time.
I use English spellings, but I don't have any connection to that place. I live near Portland.