I so feel you sandra. I grew up in south central Alaska,Anch/Mat-su Valley. About as Manly Man as ur gonna get,lol.
Then to Nashville,TN. Same thing. However I do love both Alaska and Tennessee. I now live in Palm Spring CA. About as Gray and Gay as ur gonna get. I don't care for it here! way too hot! But alas, I get to be me 24/7/365 A happy lil Androgyne/genderbender/genderqueer. Nobody even notices you or cares, Once in awhile someone will ask where I got my jeweleries or clothes shoes etc. Yesterday a kid came up to me and asked if my boobs were real ? Kids! I told him yeah there real, where are yours! I asked and he stated I am on blockers I was born a female! That one rocked me "HE" looked great like dennis the menace, chunky and tough looking. Me I don't care to pass or not, I just look like a 80's glam rocker. But that one got me. So yeah its true here in the
desperate desert and if you golf thats a big plus, Me I am bored. The so-cal scene IS smoked out for sure, personally I am going to Seattle or BC soon, cuz my boy's are still in Alaska I wanna be closer and I lived in Bellingham,WA before I liked it a lot the folks around there are like TN very friendly and Kewl. Theres my 2 cents
Good luck.

Mx Clear Raines