Will I be paralyzed by dysporia for life?

[chloeD33]

The question is in the title. I  tried an entire life time to be and act just like the boys growing up. Yet deep down even then I knew it wasn't really me. Issue is tho, unlike practically everyone here I wasn't really gender dysporic as a kid... That came later in life, those feelings. Basically transition and the thinking of so has been a daily event since 13 for me... Not 5 like everyone else. I did have some feelings of wanting to switch then but not to the point I help helpless. I wana join the Canadian military asap but in basic training  I would have to live as male until its over. Except I hate living male a lot (testosterone suppressants have done wonders). I thought of living like a femme male too but for some reason that doesn't do the trick. Basically what I guess I'm saying is that if I need to postpone transition (estrogen and surgery) what are good technics for me too be happy? And is it possible to truley be gender dysporic if it only came at about 13 ( more questioning/wishing) as opposed to like 5? Thanks

[Alice Borealis]

And is it possible to truley be gender dysporic if it only came at about 13 ( more questioning/wishing) as opposed to like 5? Thanks

I sadly can't be very helpful for the first part, but yes, I think it's certainly normal. A lot of people realize early, but people can realize in their teens/later adulthood.

[chloeD33]

I hope you are right... Because GD hurts more then anything else I have ever had

[Unsure]

This isnt a race who realizes it the earliest. You age doesnt matter. Just do whatever makes you happy. Good luck!   

[AbbyKat]

And is it possible to truley be gender dysporic if it only came at about 13 ( more questioning/wishing) as opposed to like 5? Thanks

Before puberty, I was simply confused and learning the ropes of what was expected of me.  True dysphoria didn't hit until puberty.  If you think about it, before puberty, there's not really much to feel dysphoric about and it's more about just trying to fit in.

One conclusion I've come to is that many children who transition early do not really experience the same severity of dysphoria because they transition early.  I no longer believe that dysphoria "is" transsexualism but, instead, is a condition caused by not transitioning.  Sounds obvious but it blew my mind when I worded it like that to myself.  Most transfolk do not feel dysphoric after their transition so that's the only way I can make sense of it.

[suzifrommd]

Basically transition and the thinking of so has been a daily event since 13 for me... Not 5 like everyone else.

Oh, God, I wish people would stop saying things like this. The media has everyone thinking that all trans people "always knew".

Nononono.

Some people didn't know into their teens. Some people discover their gender in their 20s. Some particular cases of arrested development (like me) didn't know until I was 50.

How can we bury this meme once an for all?

[Serenation]

I didn't know what transition was when I was 5, I just knew I'd rather have been born a girl. I tried about everything else first. I remember sitting in a camp with mostly 600 guys. I had a shaved head, a helicopter had just dropped me off, I was covered in ash sweat and retardant and a female fire fighter came and sat next to me, and said this isn't what you are meant to be doing with your life your not like these guys.

[TRIGGER WARNING] After the season ended I just couldn't think of a single thing left in life I wanted to do. I was 28 and suicidal, got diagnosed with gender dysphoria and androgen deficiency and was convinced transition was worth trying as opposed to ending my life.

I think you will find out in the military. I do think dysphoria gets exponentially worse with age but affects some worse than others.

p.s I'm happy now

[Dena]

I had my surgery in june of 1982 but several months before that I made the mental transition to womanhood. I could have lived as a woman without surgery at that point, but I couldn't have lived as a man. After that point, I never had one moment of discomfort with my life. Even all of the pain from the memories is gone and now they are just unimportant memories.

[Carrie Liz]

First of all, I am like you... I didn't start experiencing any gender dysphoria at all until about the age of 13/14.

And I think it might help you to know, WPATH acknowledges that it's completely normal for people to not know that they had gender dysphoria until that age. I'm going to copy the next two paragraphs DIRECTLY from the WPATH standards of care so that you can see it for yourself.

"In most children, gender dysphoria will disappear before, or early in, puberty. However, in some children these feelings will intensify and body aversion will develop or increase as they become adolescents and their secondary sex characteristics develop."

"Many adolescents and adults presenting with gender dysphoria do not report a history of childhood gender-nonconforming behaviors. Therefore, it may come as a surprise to others (parents, other family members, friends, and community members) when a youth's gender dysphoria first becomes evident in adolescence."

Basically, this means two things...
1. It's not childhood gender-nonconformity that's considered the hallmark of being trans. It's aversion to the body's secondary sexual characteristics.
2. WPATH acknowledges that sometimes dysphoria doesn't develop until adolescence, until that period where the body begins to go through puberty and thus sexually-differentiate to a form that's against the mind's programming.

[Jacqueline]

Oh, God, I wish people would stop saying things like this. The media has everyone thinking that all trans people "always knew".

Nononono.

Some people didn't know into their teens. Some people discover their gender in their 20s. Some particular cases of arrested development (like me) didn't know until I was 50.

How can we bury this meme once an for all?

No headstones for it either.

I had problems and symptoms my whole life but either through denial, cluelessness  or just not realizing it till then, only hit on dysphoria at 50.

Not trying to add to a tough spot you are already in, Chloe. Just adding to perspective. It seems like no matter the age, we wish we knew and transitioned about 1/2 the current age or more.

I think if you have come to the conclusions you have reached, you will never be completely comfortable as you are. Yes, you can be happy. Yes, you can continue, but it will always be there. Maybe not paralyzing. Humans are pretty adaptive. However, without serious denial(and even there it tends to pop out like bugs popping out of Ooogie Boogie in "the Nightmare Before Christmas") you will always be reminded.

That does not mean you have to fully transition to be happy. Take your time. I think too many of us rush into this. I am personally going too slow but that is not your concern.

Good luck. Smooth travels.

Joanna

[Jayne01]

I didn't always know. I have had thoughts that my body isn't right probably since my early teens. I've always managed to push those thoughts aside without them affecting my life too much. However as the years go on, the thoughts and feelings keep coming back, and each time stronger. I am now only weeks from my 43rd birthday and I am only now truly feeling gender dysphoric. So as others have stated, I don't think it matters at what age you first realise.

Jayne

[chloeD33]

Thank you everybody. Sometimes I just feel so off from a log of people. I still wish I could tell my 13 year old self to stop trying to act like the boys and be true to yourself. Issue was is I wonder if maybe I also pushed any girly feelinga in my younger years down.. I had a few, grew up with plenty of misogyny :/ and had to repress... A lot. It just sucks piecing my life together now :/... Still thabko everyone for your kind words xoxo

[chloeD33]

Thanks**