Amanda,
Welcome to Susan's. There are a lot of people with great advice and many different experiences. I can only imagine that most of us will understand what you are writing and perhaps recognize ourselves in your descriptions.
It sounds like your SO does not entirely grasp and appreciate what your feelings are. It is also possible that she fears losing you (even if you stay together, there may be a loss of some aspect of your former self). I am so sorry you are going through this. I don't now if there is a way to help her appreciate, an example from her life perhaps? If she will let herself, perhaps you could direct her to the significant others as well as the coming out sections here? That ma be too much for her now.
I can't really give you great advice. My biggest advice to most people starting out is to try to get into therapy. I can also say that this is a supportive community for both the challenges and the victories.
I wish you luck, love, understanding and a smooth journey. Where ever it takes you.
With warm wishes,
Joanna
