Came out to my Oldest Brother

[LizK]

I came out to my brother this morning via Skype. Will be seeing him when we go to New Zealand in about a week. The reason I did it now is because I wanted him to have a few days to process things before he saw me in person. His reaction was a great far better than I would have expected. He told me he loved me and just wanted me to be happy and what could he do to help. He said the outside doesn't matter to him. We discussed all sorts of stuff none of which he was fazed about.

He also said that although it was still bit early for jokes he was none the less "storing a few up" of his favourites  and that I had better be prepared...as long as he can take it, as well as dish it, then we will be fine.

He is going to be there with my wife and I when I come out to my parents who are both in their 70's. I suggested he have a look Susans site for any information he may want. So he may well pop up on a forum in the next day or two.

His parting words were that he loved me and wanted the best for me and that I was "really bloody brave"

Whew!!! Ok so that leaves 5 to go including my daughters and parents...the hard ones!!

A really great outcome... and I am really happy

Sarah T

[Dena]

If there is anything I can do to help, drop me a PM so I know where to look. I hope all the rest of them go this well.

[tabbylivehere]

That is sooo freaking awesome to have such a good response,  it's great to store up a few great responses from some loved ones before you have to face a bland or bad response from someone else you also care about. Soo pleased for you!!

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[LizK]

If there is anything I can do to help, drop me a PM so I know where to look. I hope all the rest of them go this well.

Hi Dena I tried to reply last nite but I was so tired it was just drivel. The weird part is that instead of helping coming out seems to have triggered really awful dysphoria. We human beings are such screwy people..sigh!

[LizK]

That is sooo freaking awesome to have such a good response,  it's great to store up a few great responses from some loved ones before you have to face a bland or bad response from someone else you also care about. Soo pleased for you!!

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It gets down to 4 people now, My parents and my Daughters...Parents in their 70's and Daughters in their early 20's. I have been so fortunate but I know of a few of my friends/acquaintances I will lose because I already know what they think about trans people but to be perfectly honest I don't really care. thanks for the words of encouragement..

[tabbylivehere]

And once they know... Omg the freedom is amazing... It's like the floodgates open... You can live like someone left the gate open! I had no idea... Left my mum and sisters till last. Finally told them all on a Sunday in May. Then thought hey, may as well make a public statement on fb on the same day,  and sat and thought "what have I done!". Had some stereo typical resistance from my Brethren cousins, and some offensive (but just honestly ignorant) questions from others.. But omgomgomg the freedom to be me, publicly, wow. Wish I'd done this years ago!!  I look forward to hearing about how it goes for you xx be fabulous!

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[Dena]

Hi Dena I tried to reply last nite but I was so tired it was just drivel. The weird part is that instead of helping coming out seems to have triggered really awful dysphoria. We human beings are such screwy people..sigh!

When I first came out to my parents, my stomach was tied in a knot for three days after that. I couldn't eat more than a few mouthfuls of food at a meal. Strange how I was done with business but the nerves lingered so long afterward. The thing that is hard to understand was I wasn't that nervous in the days leading up to coming out.

[LizK]

I think for me it feels like each time I come out to someone it bangs another nail in coffin lid of my old life...I have only just started to accept that "I really am Trans" for a start and that transition is where I am heading, in fact I have already started to make changes towards this and I think coming out to my nearest and dearest is simply another way of clearing perceived obstacles from my way, I haven't set out to do this deliberately but it does seem to be what I have done, despite the doubts, fear and denial I keep going regardless because I "know" I can't keep living the way I was.

When I think about my Parents it doesn't feel that real because they are so far away...although I have 9 days till we go see them and I suspect by this time next week I could be a bit would up...

I feel a bit better today and the Dysphoria has been mild in comparison to the hammering I took yesterday...overall I do feel better for having come out to my older brother especially in light of his amazing response then and the letter he wrote me yesterday.

I will be talking to my younger brother today and he will now be able to talk to his oldest brother about how he is feeling about all this...By the time I speak to my parents they will have my two other siblings to talk to about this and then when I finally tell the toughest crowd of all my 2nd eldest brother with whom I have a special kind of bond...very strong male bonding...I just don't have a clue how he will take this. But by the time I tell him everyone in the family will know and he can talk to them.

My Daughters are by far the scariest for me and will be the last to know...but even they will know by the end of September. My wife and I tried our best to raise our girls in an environment where bigots were not tolerated and differences in people where to be celebrated. Racism is one I personally spent a lot of time talking to my girls about. So I hope that when I come out to them in a few weeks that they will at least be able to understand and accept on some level.

Part of the unknown is to what extent my transition will go too because much is yet to be explored....past history would tell me it is likely to be social at the very minimum and I really do want to try HRT...and then after that who knows how I will feel...I am soon to let loose part of me that has never seen the light of day except for a few short hours over many years, to try and guess what will happen is nigh impossible...

Enough of that from me

Thanks for checking in

Hugs

Sarah T