Ok - Most people worry when dilating that they might "tear" something, when in reality if your surgeon was any good its actually pretty unlikely. People I think get confused because of the fact that you arent allowed to have sex for three months and they imagine this is because of some strange "risk of tears". In reality its mainly because although the skin heals the tissue remains porous for quite a long time, and while it does there is a HUGELY increased infection risk. So frgility is not the main concern.
Granted you probably don't want someone dilating with a jack hammer, but if you use plenty of lube and normal amounts of pressure its NOT going to tear. In actual fact by observation about 80% of people who have post-op complications do so because they haven't dilated hard or deep enough. The remaining 20% are just unlucky but literally 0% have problems because they dilate too hard!
So it is important when you are shown and told how to dilate by your surgeon, to follow the advice properly and not be scared or too frightened to apply a little force and maintain the depth that he or she has shown you.
