My Ex
Whilst reading your story, Ther was so many times I wondered if your ex was mine

No, not the case, just that very similar narative of, moving to fast and suddenly of.
When my ex left me it was, new years, we had been together for about six mounths, and we were noticing that between us on, a relationship perspective we were both exsperiencing a lot of "firsts".
So this was the first new years eve, either of us, had ever spent with a partener, their is this tradition that my dad liked to hold, being that before the stroke of midnight, one member of the house hold would, go outside with a copper coin and a lump of coal. That pwrson would wait untill after midnight and then come back into the house. (letting the new year in)
This tradition had been my burden for many years, and this year it was the same. So its the run up to this burden I always did, and Im getting ready to go out into the freezing cold. I notice my ex get up to come with me. We go out into the snow, and were standing their on my doorstep and it didnt feel so cold. that was when she pointed out that she had never doen this kind of thing, and that come to think of it hadnt in anyway step new years with a partener. We keep talking and fire works, So it was midnight, were looking out at all the fireworks and i heard her say somthing, I looked at her, and she came in closer with a huge smile and said, this is going to be our year. We kissed for a few minuets and then went inside.
That night, we went to bed and cuddled talking for hours. the next day, the very next day she went home and stopped texting, replying. Stopped answering her phone. She left me.
The only information I got was from her parents saying she was ok. 2 months later. She said, Its ok please dont worry about me, Im ok Im got back with my Ex, (an ex i didnt know about).
So yeah, the very next day she decided to leave me. I know what it fels like to be "abandoned" by sombody your deeply in love with.
ADVISE:Allow yourself time to griev, your feeling loss at the moment and its ok to feel bad about it. Dont beat yourself up over it, dont treat yourself like you should be able to just move on. We cant just do that by choice. I would sugest setting yourself a certian amout of time to well..... feel sorry for yourself, your ARE allowed to do that

And you might find that come the end of that time you realise that your a complete mess over sombody that doesnt deserve it. You might not think like that now but give it time