Well it seems like my uninterrupted involvement here seems like a lifetime ago, but in reality it has only been about half a year. So much has happened that I thought I'd share some of them. Back in June I added progesterone to my hrt and almost exactly a month of daily use my doctor was satisfied that I adjusted well enough to double it. Estrogen has been ramped up as well. Since the two were combined I have been noticing a nice improvement in all breast changes, fuller, much larger if measured from one side to the other on each. Now to be fair I cannot be certain if it was that breakthrough point due to E or the combo of E & P.
This next part I was sure would be kind of devastating, when my reasoning finally understood the idea behind "eat like a teenager" theory. I thought I would never be able to look into a mirror again, but here is where I was surprised. What I had not grasped was that my muscle mass was 'still' being lost so the gain in weight did not have the impact I was fearing. Here is where the the P works its subtle magic once more, upper thighs very slightly gaining in size and blending in with butt size increase. Happy, happy, happy, I've never had one, turn sideways and I was straight as a board from top to bottom. Don't get me wrong, I would rather be looking at the me I remember weight wise but I can begin to see now how alternating gain/loss is going to have some dramatic effect. I may see myself as a bit frumpy at the moment but (and this is the really cool part) I'm beginning to be able to see a 'woman'. I know from the new pic I put up it may not reveal what I've been talking about but to a large part this is the flattening out effect of the bralette.
I NEVER wear makeup anymore, at most (lip color is one constant) some eyeliner on just the top and some mascara. I can now stand in front of the mirror, look intently at my face and see the HER, I've wanted so so so much for such a long long time.
I started very late in life, late in my 62nd year and now having just turned 64 I know I will be ok. That may sound slight but it is astoundingly huge for me.
I was not sure where to put this as it is part mtf talk, part rle, but mostly hrt. So this is were I decided. Now to the why.......this is for all of you who have bouts of all consuming fears, a belief that change will never happen, and all of the unwanted effects those things have on a person. I know, I've dove off into the deep end with every one of them, and like cruddy things that were messing up my pool, I've tossed them out one by one.
Keep going, try to not lose sight of your goal, and most important strive to get to that place where you can ignore those voices that try to bring you down. Peace, and Much Much Love, Dani
