im confused

[preston j sannicolas]

I my name is Preston and i am really confused because i don't know if im really transgender or not 
It started about 4-5 years ago im 16 now when i was really young up i don't remember much out of the normal but growing up i have noticed that i don't struggle to talk to girls but i don't have a clue on how to flirt with them and i always feel like im in the friend zone not long after i meet them also ive never been into sports  but i do like acting and singing and shopping even though its not that fun because i think guy cloths are boring about 4 or 3 years ago i went into my moms cloths and cross dressed i did i a few times but one time she came home early and i haven't done it since because i almost got caught i have done it one other time but it was really quick because im still afraid i don't want to tell my mom so i cant see anyone about it so i was wondering if someone here could help me please

[stephaniec]

the only thing I can say is that if you have any sort of opportunity to talk to a professional therapist it would greatly help you organize your thoughts about this matter. I was able to see a therapist in college ,but it would of helped a lot if I could of got some counseling a lot sooner. My awareness of being trans started when I was 4 even though I didn't understand that's what I was.

[Dena]

Welcome to Susan's Place. The fact you found this web site and you dressed in you mom's clothes indicates you are transgender. Exactly what this means to you will be something you discover explore your feelings. I underwent sexual reassignment surgery but there are other options and you will be the one who determines what is right for you. If you go to youtube and request "The transition channel", the series will help you explore your feelings and may answer some of your questions while posing more.

Really it boils down to what you feel inside. Both women and men do sports, singing, acting and shopping but males don't want to become women has they are happy as men. It is also possible that you don't feel like a woman on the inside but still enjoy woman's clothes in which case you would be a cross dresser. When you can answer these questions, you will have your answer. Feel free to ask any more questions, but it's my bed time and I will reply tomorrow.

[Cindy]

Hi Preston and Welcome to Susan's

Please check out the following links for general site info...

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It is very normal for adolescents to explore their gender and their sexual identity, both are separate of course. But if you are troubled about your feelings talking to a school counsellor may be a great way of getting some advice. But follow your heart as well.

There is absolutely nothing wrong in being transgender and nothing to be ashamed of!

Welcome to the site Hon. Ask any questions you like and we will try and help

[preston j sannicolas]

thanks for the responses its just that part of me is saying its a phase or it will pass but i think that's the part of me that just wants to be normal and part of me just doesn't understand it really just confuses me what are things i could look at to see if im a women on the inside or just like  women s clothing

[Mariah]

Hi and welcome to Susan's. This is where therapy can help along with other things as your transition dictates. If it's truly not a phase it won't go away for long without coming back. So many of us perged things for different reasons including that, but found out no something  bigger is going on and we had to deal with it. I hope your able to sort things out. Hugs
Mariah

thanks for the responses its just that part of me is saying its a phase or it will pass but i think that's the part of me that just wants to be normal and part of me just doesn't understand it really just confuses me what are things i could look at to see if im a women on the inside or just like  women s clothing

[Laura_7]

Here are a few resources that could help you:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,194986.msg1737439.html#msg1737439


And I'd say keep asking questions... alone writing often helps getting a clearer point of view...


hugs

[preston j sannicolas]

thanks im thinking of waiting a month or more to see how i feel i doubt my feelings will change but i want to be sure if i am still thinking trans then im going to talk to my grandma

side note is it possible i could be the reincarnation of her daughter that died at birth if that stupid to ask im very sorry im just wondering

[Mariah]

It's hard to say. Might a question for a therapist. I wish I could be of more help. Hugs
Mariah

thanks im thinking of waiting a month or more to see how i feel i doubt my feelings will change but i want to be sure if i am still thinking trans then im going to talk to my grandma

side note is it possible i could be the reincarnation of her daughter that died at birth if that stupid to ask im very sorry im just wondering

[Laura_7]

thanks im thinking of waiting a month or more to see how i feel i doubt my feelings will change but i want to be sure if i am still thinking trans then im going to talk to my grandma

side note is it possible i could be the reincarnation of her daughter that died at birth if that stupid to ask im very sorry im just wondering

Yes 
There are many people with memories... and many cultures believing in that...

What makes you think so ?


hugs

[Laura_7]

thanks im thinking of waiting a month or more to see how i feel i doubt my feelings will change but i want to be sure if i am still thinking trans then im going to talk to my grandma

well usually cis people do not question their gender...
apart from a little curiousity of how it might be...
so that might be a sign in itself...

[preston j sannicolas]

i have always been really close with my grandma even closer then my mom

[Laura_7]

i have always been really close with my grandma even closer then my mom

Its good you are close... so you probably can really talk about deep emotions...

[Dena]

thanks im thinking of waiting a month or more to see how i feel i doubt my feelings will change but i want to be sure if i am still thinking trans then im going to talk to my grandma

side note is it possible i could be the reincarnation of her daughter that died at birth if that stupid to ask im very sorry im just wondering

If you are transsexual, you have been one from before you were born because it is the result in a brain difference that happens while we are still in the womb. People may go a long time before they the feelings happen. In my case my younger behavior indicated I wasn't a normal male child but I didn't figure out what I was until I hit age 13. Some know as early as 3 years of age and other may reach their 50s or 60s. Because it is a brain difference, the brain can't be fixed to end the feelings. It will always be with you until you find the place in life where you are comfortable. In my case, I became a woman and that has ended feelings and I am happy in my life. People do find other ways to be happy without surgery and there are many on this board living that way.

It may be a bit heavy reading but the following link will explain the causes of transsexualism if you are interested.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Causes_of_transsexualism

[preston j sannicolas]

thanks you all for the comments im sure i will post a new topic eventually to ask questions but thank you for the answers all your answers have helped me i hope in the future i can clarify my gender as male or female and im sure this site will help