I posted last week in the "Happy" thread about going to my therapist as the real me. Sitting here tonight something dawned on me about the whole experience that I feel like expanding on. I'm pre everything and last weeks journey was the first time out as "me" in close to a decade. Dressed casual but nice but nothing over the top. Enough make up to hide the beard shadow and even out the skin but not troweled on. Didn't realize until now , no nerves leaving the house or on the hour drive to my therapists office. Don't remember thinking will I pass at all during the drive.Park at her office building got out dropped my keys in my purse and across the parking lot I went. Only now has it sunk in I walked by several people crossing the lot and passed right by a group of women around their car right by the door. No one gave me a second look. Walked in the building a maintenance man was working in the lobby. He glanced up at me and smiled, I remember smiling back. Passed several other people on the way down the hall. Nothing!
I don't intend this to be a wow I passed post. Honestly if you were to ask I'd swear I couldn't pass on a bet. So what's my point you ask ? I think what happened is I was just ME, and me is a 58 year old average woman so thats what people saw. I really think all of us are way to hard on ourselves and how we see ourselves. I think we need to try and find ways to treat ourselves better internally every day. Even if it is just small things. All of us are beautiful in our individual ways and need to remind ourselves of that everyday and just try and be the best us we can be.
