It's never going to be easy, - I transitioned when both my children were only small and I only did so because I couldn't bear living a lie anymore. Believe me I tried very hard to keep it all going, but it essentially came down to be me or be dead and I knew in my heart I wasn't going to choose death not when I was a parent to two small children.
My wife had a severe mental illness which was barely controlled at the time because she wouldn't take her meds so it was never going to be a good time to come out. Caring for my children when my wife was ill (raving mad - forgive me for saying so, but it was the truth), was simply wonderful and I think that was one of the things that helped to bring my true self to the surface. This was over twenty four years ago now and at the time nobody in my country really knew anything about gender dysphoria so it all got to a crisis stage and turned into a great unholy mess as you would expect.
In light of my experience my advice is as others have said is to plan for the worst and hope for the best. Facial hair was a major source of dysphoria for me and if it is for you too then you can begin right now to do something about that. Low dose HRT is likely to help as well as it will overcome some of the effects of T so you will feel more yourself. Take legal advice and plan what you want to happen to any property you have in common with your wife. In my case I made up my mind that I wasn't going to take out my share of the house and property because I wasn't going to make my children homeless, but I warn you that option is only for those who want to play the transition game on the difficult setting because while my now adult children love me very much and have always been my best friends the first two years of my transition were a living hell. At the time my lawyer said I was nuts by the way, but all these years later I know I did the right thing. Later on my 'share' paid for my children's education which was absolutely fine by me when my 'ex' made the suggestion.
Most importantly remember that when you do come out everybody is going to have an opinion on it. I was constantly told, 'How could you do this when you've got kids,' by angry folk who looked like they wanted to hit me. I lost friends, my two brothers still won't have anything to do with me and I shed bucket loads of tears, BUT despite all that I still remain 100% certain that I did the right thing. At the end of the day the only person you can be is yourself.
