What can help me to deal with stopping transitioning ?

[asi]

Hi Everybody
I am  3 years on Hormonal therapy (34  years old)during a transition from male to female.
My parents & close friends are ok with me & I have already an approval from the health services,
to undergo srs, FFS & breast enhancement surgery .

But I have decided to stop the process , because of many reasons :
Hard for me to except my self because I am too much masculine in my character & my body (I have acromegaly - Growth hormone Overdose)
I feel as I woman in my heart , but I know it might be not strong enough to deal with the transitioning & what comes after in life as a transgender woman.

I know that many of you will try to cheer me to go on with the transition & I appreciate it ,
but for now I really would like to know of others who stopped similar process & how they deal with it .
I know it will be hard for me so any piece of information or referral to info/ Doctors/ people who might help,
could be helpful.

[Cindy]

Hi Hon,
I feel for you.

By this time you probably have breasts and they may not go away, they may need surgical removal. You are likely sterile and you may not be able to gain an erection.

Your dysphoria may be difficult to overcome, if you have it.

You need to talk to your therapist and maybe go on low dose HRT, or undergo T therapy.

Your decisions are of course only yours.

I hope it works out for you and that you can be happy.

I hope the members here can help you in your journey.

Cindy

[Ms Grace]

Hi - sorry to hear you are in this bind. As someone who detransitioned after two years on HRT during my first tilt I can definitely appreciate that if you don't feel ready and/or able then you should hold off. I probably would have been able to transition physically Ok but my head space was not in the right place and ultimately that counts more than looks. I agree with Cindy - talk about it with your therapist and endocrinologist. I was only able to make it through the first few months then years by finding a way to completely distract myself - but Cindy is right in saying the dysphoria never really goes away so I strongly suggest finding a positive way to distract yourself from that. I had been able to for about ten years but then it started to slip away and another ten years later found myself back where I started, if not worse. Those coping mechanisms are very important, but they have to be something that resonates with and enthuses you.