Hi everyone,................(WARNING - Really Long Read, but if your bored ! ! ! ! ! ! !)
Haven't posted much since coming back and have mainly just been reading which I enjoy very much. Susan's has always been my most valuable source of information first.
Just some quick background, like some, I started taking supplements, (one of which is mention in the childboards above, and yes they are an expensive waste of money) and did notice some very mild effects over a 3 year period but nothing to write home about. This was around 8 years ago when I first joined Susan's. As I mentioned, there were no dramatic effects but the differences I did notice, especially mentally convinced me that to help my mental health issues, particularly my GID, having female hormones in me was the best thing for me. I had no intention to transition but felt more myself and more at peace with everything. I went through the normal channels here in Australia and through my GP at the time, saw an Endo and ended up with HRT but not wanting to transition, ended up with dosages that "maintained" me without causing dramatic changes.
I felt fantastic and although I still had issues with depression and anxiety, I never felt more myself. It was definitely the right move for me. So for over four and a half years, I have been using Climara Transdermal and Spiro. I was more than happy with the results mentally and physical changes were minimal allowing me to still present and work as male.
Earlier this year, I had a bad bout of depression around Easter time and ended up going to the Emergency Department at my local hospital at around 1.00am because I couldn't sleep, was upset and was out of Anti-Depressants. I went as a walk in voluntary hoping to get some Med's from them to get me through the long weekend till I could see my GP the following week. I was there for about 6 hours, spoke to a Mental Health tirage nurse for some time, then they had me see a psych that was on duty that night and was told I would get some Med's and would be sent home.
Long story a bit shorter, this over zealous young psych thought that my suicide attempt from over 5 years prior was very elaborate in its conception and unknown to me, had discussed this with a senior consult by phone and between the two of them, decided to comit me to the psych ward upstairs. Again, at the time I was in Emergency, I didn't know this and after sitting in Emergency for over 6 hours expecting to be given Med's and sent home, I walked out of the room I was in and went up to the nurse's station and told them I was going home. Thats when security grabbed me and with this over zealous psych, escorted me upstairs. I won't go into my day and a half up there, but I gave them hell for the whole 32 hours I was there.
The biggest thing was in the morning, I had to publically "out" myself for the very first time in my life. I needed my dose of Spiro which was at home so had to tell the nurse in the ward that I was transgender and needed my Med's. It was kind of already on file from the night before because I discussed being trans with the triage nurse becasuse he was really easy and great to talk too, (it was the psych that was the ->-bleeped-<-). Anyway, they had to give me my Spiro which they did but to get it I had to "out" myself which was something I had vowed never to do.
Later that day, a senior psych came to see, (I assume because of the stink I kicked up all night, no doctors were due back till after the long weekend), and after talking with her for a couple of hours, she said "you shouldn't be here!". I told her I have been telling them this all night. She discharged me immediately but not before making me an appointment with a department of our state health service called "Mental Health Access Team". When I went to see them for the first time, I was given a Case Manager, a counsellor, a psychologist and a psychiratrist, all paid for by our MediCare System.
I have been seeing them for around 5 months now. They have been great, they got me on the pension, (I am only in my mid 40's) so am not working at the moment, get all my Med's for a fixed price of $6.10 per script and have changed my Anti Depressants etc which were not working for me previously. My case manager is fantastic, she handles everything for me. With the doctors, she did all the paper work for the pension and even went to Social Security with me for the review process and deals with them directly so I don't have too.
Of course they knew I was trans because it was all in the hospital discharge papers and due to the pension application, so now do Social Security. So in a matter of a few months, I am now totally out to government agencies, something I was never planning. I have been discussing it with my psychologist along with other things, but around two months ago, he said he wanted to get my hormone levels checked. I had the pathology done and it turns out, I have the horomone levels of a post menopausal woman and my testosterone was in the lower end of male.
This shocked me, I thought they were better than this. It also upset me somewhat and my psychologist saw this in me and asked me what I wanted to do about it. Discussing it with him, I told him that I actually wanted the normal levels of a cisgender female but was too scared to have them that high. He asked me about the changes and I admitted that given how my life is going so far, I really don't care about the changes pysically and just wanted to feel normal. We had already come to the conclusion earlier that around 60% of my depression was due to my GID.
One thing that I haven't mentioned so far is that neither my psychiartrist or psychologist have ever met a transgendered person before. Thus I began to educate the educated. I gave my psychologist a copy of WPATH Standards of Care, directed him to the Susan's site and my state Gender Centre and he began to read between visits. A couple of weeks later he asked me again, "What do you want to do about your hormone levels?". I told him I had given it serious thought and wanted normal levels. He asked me, "What do we do now?", I told him that I need to make an appoinment with an Endo and have my Med's changed. I began to tell him about the "Gate Keeper" letter and how in this country, you can't just get your GP to write you a script. You have to be diagnosed as trans after seeing a shrink several times, he gives you a letter confirming the diagnosis to take to your GP and then your GP can make an appoinment with an Endo to authourise HRT.
"OK" he say's, I'll talk to Dr ******, (psychiatrist) and ask him to write you a letter when you next see him. My old Gate Keeper letter from nearly 5 years ago was lost. I only had the original which was given to the Endo and he could no longer be found. When I next saw the psychiatrist, he brought it up straight away and asked "Me" what to write ! ! ! ! ! ! Because he had never met a transgender person before, he had no idea. I basically told him that the Gate Keeper letter said something like I, Dr *******, psychiartrist have been seeing Jessica now for three months and it is my Medical opinion the he/she meets the criteria for GID as set out in the DSM 5 and I feel that treatment is warranted under the current WPATH Standards of Care. I hereby athourise treatment and request he/she begin HRT.
"OK" he tells me. OMG, I nearly fell of my chair. I said "don't you want to test me, compare me to the criteria set out under GID in the DSM 5?". "No", he say's, "I have known you for three months now, I am convinced your trans from other discussion's we have had, so I'll just write you the letter". WTF ! ! ! ! So many girls on here have had so much trouble getting approval for HRT and I just ask for my letter and he say's "What do you want me to write?".
Picked up my letter the next week, went to my GP and got a referral to an Endo. My GP knew no Endo's who had trans experience, (my GP has never met a trans person either) and asked me if I knew one. I told him that I would contact the Gender Centre and ask them. Turns out they know of only one here in Sydney. Most trans girls go to him through the Gender Centre but the problem is that he is around 2 and a 1/2 hours from me by two different train lines. Thats a 5 hour round trip and with my Anxiety, I can't be on a public train for that length of time. I spent a couple of days doing some research and found a 7 year old reference online to and Endo that was in Western Sydney and tracked him down. I rang his office, the girl at the desk told me he had around 10 years experience with trans people ans was currently seeing around 6 trans patients.
I rang my GP, told him about this Endo and picked up my referral the next day. Made an appointment with him, went to see him around 3 weeks later. Immediately he asked for my "Gateway Letter" which I proudly handed over, discussed the pro's and con's with me for around half an hour, then I walked out with my script. He has put me on Microgynon, (the pill) and Andorcur (Cyproterone). He told me to prepare for very dramatic results, very quickly. This was around 2 and a 1/2 months ago now. I see him again next week after blood tests.
So here we are. After this long story, I am extremley perplexed. Given the problems I have read on Susan's about other girls trying to combat the medical systems in various countries, is this whole scenario odd? My questions that I would like your opinions on are;
a) Has anyone ever had to educate the professionals?
and
b) The Pill ! ! ! ! I was always taught that you don't take the pill for HRT MTF, both here on Susan's and from other Trans resources.
He was right though, the changes I have had in only two and a bit months are dramatic. My boob's are killing me and are already extremley obvious unless I layer clothing. My testes have shrunk so much, they are nearly non existent. Things are changes really quickly and I am very interested in seeing my new hormone levels next week.
What do you girls think? Is he doing the right thing?
