Street harassment dialed up to 10 now.

[iKate]

Within the last few weeks, street harassment has increased immensely for me.

Cat calls, propositioning, one guy putting his hand in front of me and bowing, and even today one guy said, "look at that sweet face" when I passed near him.

It's probably good validation but it sure gets old quick...

And I honestly don't know if I'm being read or if people are reading me as a woman and then making fun of me.

That said, I don't let it get to me.

But it's eye opening that cis women have had to put up with this all their lives. I guess you get used to it.

[Sydney_NYC]

These types of things have happened to me as well. Some cis-men think that's the way to hit on girls or something. I did have one guy hit on me in a very polite way. I was walking out of a Subway station and this guy comes up and says: "Excuse me Miss, but I couldn't help notice you on the train and I would hope to see you again tomorrow or maybe so other time." I told him no thank you and that I'm a happily married woman but thank you. He was actually pretty sweet about it. Now is every guy could be like that, the world would be a much better place.

The funny thing is this has also happened right in front of my wife. My wife says it's annoying, but she feels a little jealous that it doesn't happen to her hardly at all, LOL.

[Jill F]

Yes, I know what you mean.  Before I got my wedding ring melted down to make a girly one, I was ringless and was hit on a few times, mostly by creeps mind you, but a couple of those chatty guys were probably OK, especially the guy who wanted to marry me for having an Iron Maiden sticker on my car and carrying a guitar.   Now that I wear a wedding set, I know for a fact the guys that are hitting on me are total creeps. LOL  I even punched a guy in the face and shoved him hard after trying to grope me at The Whisky lately.  (I'm still built like a linebacker and know how to throw my weight around.)

What's weird is getting drinks bought for me, doors opened and helped with my groceries now.  And that whole elevator dynamic is very different.

[Lynne]

It can be quite annoying and sometimes even dangerous but it is a great validation and you can get somewhat used to it.
I've had guys trying to chat me up, catcalling me and so on. Sometimes it felt safer to put a little distance between us just to be sure. The real problem is at night.

At one time when I was coming home from a support group meeting at night I wore a new pair of shoes which rubbed my heels so much that they were bleeding so it caused considerable amount of pain to walk. It was at least 20 minutes of walk to get home from the train station.
There was this group of approx. 10 drunken men and they noticed me walking alone at night and they started expressing their interest in me in a quite vulgar way. My feet hurt like hell but I was able to get around them quickly before they could get to me. I got pretty scared and the shoes got so bloody inside that I couldn't get the stains out afterwards.

A few months ago my girlfriend was walking home from work at night and a guy on the street just grabbed her breasts. My girlfriend yelled at him, they got into an argument and then she called the police on the spot but of course the guy didn't wait for the police to arrive so they never found him.

When we are walking hand in hand in the city some guys always have to make some 'smart' comments about how they would like to join us in bed.

[iKate]

Yes, I know what you mean.  Before I got my wedding ring melted down to make a girly one, I was ringless and was hit on a few times, mostly by creeps mind you, but a couple of those chatty guys were probably OK, especially the guy who wanted to marry me for having an Iron Maiden sticker on my car and carrying a guitar.   Now that I wear a wedding set, I know for a fact the guys that are hitting on me are total creeps. LOL  I even punched a guy in the face and shoved him hard after trying to grope me at The Whisky lately.  (I'm still built like a linebacker and know how to throw my weight around.)

What's weird is getting drinks bought for me, doors opened and helped with my groceries now.  And that whole elevator dynamic is very different.

I am sorry to say I never wore mine. I wanted a sparkly one but couldn't have it. :\

[Ms Grace]

And I honestly don't know if I'm being read or if people are reading me as a woman and then making fun of me.

You're looking pretty darned hot in your avatar these days

But regardless, some creeps don't need much of an invitation to invade your personal space physically/verbally. In Australia (or at least in Sydney) the street level harassment seems less common apart from a few dinosaurs that still haven't learned they don't have the right to harass women. I've been on the receiving end of a number of car horn toots and other uninvited commentary on my looks (I guess at least it was "positive" commentary) - I have to laugh and wonder what they'd say or do if they knew they'd just hit on a transwoman... "if only they knew!" One suspects the commentary would be a lot more hostile and negative.

[iKate]

Lol, thanks Grace. That was on my court date for my name change. The judge had no idea I was Trans until I explained why I was getting my name changed.

[allisonsteph]

It is an odd feeling isn't it? A couple of months ago I was walking home from the drug store and this guy started walking next to me and asked "Hey babe, where you going smelling so fine?". I was so shocked by this I could only say the first thing that popped into my head which was "Has that ever worked? Even once?".  I think it shocked him, he just stood there mouth open while I walked away.

[iKate]

Today it got scary. Some guy followed me for 2 blocks, grabbed my arm. I told him to let go, he grabs again. I told him I'd call the cops and I ran off.

What beats me though is whether or not he clocked me or he just harassed me because I'm a woman. He came up and said, "you are an individual that is very beautiful."

[Kimberley Beauregard]

For the guys who physically harass you, don't be too scared to sue pepper spray.

[Eva Marie]

I just had my first experience with this.

Last weekend some girlfriends and I were leaving a club at 2am in Long Beach. We tried to get a ride from Uber but the web site was busy and it wouldn't respond, so we decided to just walk the few blocks back to our hotel.

Walking meant threading our way through crowds of drunken people that were standing outside clubs on the sidewalk. As I squeezed past a group of guys I felt some guys hand on my butt 

Kate - I'd say that these experiences just mean that people see you as a woman and treat you accordingly. It is shocking to find out the things that women have to deal with every day.

[iKate]

For the guys who physically harass you, don't be too scared to sue pepper spray.

It's my second to last resort. I always have one. (The last resort is a gun when I have one on me).

However, I was able to run away which is good enough.

[mfox]

That's sad but not surprising.  1 in 6 women in the US have been sexually assaulted at some point.  Once you start transitioning, you unfortunately have to put more thought about going out than when you had male privilege.   

https://rainn.org/statistics

[iKate]

That's sad but not surprising.  1 in 6 women in the US have been sexually assaulted at some point.  Once you start transitioning, you unfortunately have to put more thought about going out than when you had male privilege.   

https://rainn.org/statistics

Yeah. I thought that midtown Manhattan in broad daylight would be safe... I guess I was wrong.

[iKate]

I just had my first experience with this.

Last weekend some girlfriends and I were leaving a club at 2am in Long Beach. We tried to get a ride from Uber but the web site was busy and it wouldn't respond, so we decided to just walk the few blocks back to our hotel.

Walking meant threading our way through crowds of drunken people that were standing outside clubs on the sidewalk. As I squeezed past a group of guys I felt some guys hand on my butt 

Kate - I'd say that these experiences just mean that people see you as a woman and treat you accordingly. It is shocking to find out the things that women have to deal with every day.

Yeah I'm not overly worried about being clocked. I just feel a little more vulnerable now.

[iKate]

Well, guess what? Gas station attendants are hitting on me. It's kind of annoying because some are old men, but some look like 20 and 30 something Indian guys. I'm almost certain they are married... And I went to the Trinidadian area of queens (I am from Trinidad) and got cat called a few times, trini style. I know some girls like the attention but...walking down the street is like passing through a mine field.

[Sydney_NYC]

Well, guess what? Gas station attendants are hitting on me. It's kind of annoying because some are old men, but some look like 20 and 30 something Indian guys. I'm almost certain they are married... And I went to the Trinidadian area of queens (I am from Trinidad) and got cat called a few times, trini style. I know some girls like the attention but...walking down the street is like passing through a mine field.

That happens to me several times a month with the gas station attendants. Since we both live in NJ where you are not allowed to pump your own gas, it's more of a problem in NJ than other states that are 99.9% self serve.

[Alainaluvsu]

Most of the time I'm approached it's respectfully. A few of them are whistles and catcalls. I've been groped and hit on in front of my mom, grabbed and kissed on the face by a complete (drunk) stranger, had a guy sit on my porch for hours waiting to talk to me even while the police were there investigating an unrelated incident.

However, a lot of the time it's very easy to take as a compliment. I've met some very nice guys that started off by complimenting my looks. As long as they don't touch me or stare at me like a creep, I'm good.

[KatelynBG]

Just be careful ladies. I remember reading a story once about a trans woman who was walking to her car at a mall. A man in a car drove by and started in on her. As he got closer and realized she was trans he got more agitated and started following her, screaming "You made me look at you! I'm going to kill you for making me look at you!" He followed her until she was able to lose him but what a scary story. I don't mean to scare, but just be careful ladies.

[Peep]

I never got hit on/catcalled in the street when I was still presenting as female lol

So if any of you ladies aren't getting harassed it's not because you're doing something wrong...

or maybe i was just butt ugly

I would add that if you don't feel like you should be taking it as a compliment, don't let anyone pressure you into doing so...