I would go back to me aged ten,
Crying alone in the storeroom,
Wondering whether she is adopted,
Wondering why mom and dad can't love her
The way they love her brother,
Hating the fact that she was born a girl child,
Wondering if it's better to go after their love,
or learn to live without it.
I would hold her in my arms,
And tell her that mom and dad love her all right,
Being the older child
Naturally she has to go through the jealousy phase,
But it will pass eventually,
And that i will always love her the most.
I would hug her,
And let her feel the love and care
In the way she always wanted,
And everyone failed to give.
I would go back to me aged thirteen,
Crying alone in their head,
Wondering whether they are an alien experiment,
Wondering why they can't find boys attractive
The way their peers do,
Hating the fact that they were born a freak,
Wondering if it's better to pretend to be a girl,
Or let themself behave like a boy.
I would hold them in my arms,
And tell them that finding girls attractive is all right,
Being transgender
Naturally they have to go through the confusion phase,
But it'll pass eventually,
And that i will always love them the most.
I would hug them,
And let them feel the love and care
In the way they always wanted,
And everyone failed to give.
I would go back to me aged sixteen,
Crying alone in his bed,
Wondering whether she has feelings for him as well,
Wondering why his body doesn't match his gender
The way it happens for the rest of the world,
Hating the fact that he was born in a female body,
Wondering if it's better to tell her his love,
or to let it go.
I would hold him in my arms,
And tell him that he can medically become a male all right,
Being in his first love
Naturally he has to go through the obsession phase,
But it'll pass eventually,
And that i will always love him the most.
I would hug him,
And let him feel the love and care
In the way he always wanted,
And everyone failed to give.
I would get back to the present me,
Crying alone day and night,
Wondering whether the world would ever accept me,
Wondering why i can't find courage for transition
The way others like me have,
Hating the fact that i was born in a conservative society,
Wondering if it's better to take a step forward now,
or to wait it out.
I would wait for my future self,
To come and hold me in my arms,
And tell me that world will love me all right,
Being in the dawn of transition
Naturally i have to go through the anxiety phase,
But it'll pass eventually,
And that I will always love myself the most,
To hug me,
And let me feel the love and care
In the way I always wanted,
And everyone has failed to give.
...........
Been out of the forums for quite some time now. Been busy sorting out my life. What i posted above is a 3am rambling when i couldn't sleep because i was stuck in the mindset explained in the poem. See if it makes sense, and please tell me how it feels
