My name is Janine

[Janine]

I remember being little and wanting to be a girl. Late at night as I got older, I'd pretend I had breasts, using various things to stand in for them, wanting so bad to sleep in these pale imitations of womanhood but never daring. As I got older, I gradually resigned myself to being male, even enjoyed it at times, but I always had that one nagging thought in the back of my head, that little hateful voice saying "You pretender. You awkward little excuse for a guy. You fail at everything, even being you". So here I am. I'll prove my harshest critic, myself, wrong. Hello, internet, I'm Janine.

[Jacqueline]

Hello Janine,

I think I wrote nearly that same thing a while ago. Although I don't know that I ever really enjoyed the male part, just enjoyed being me. I especially feel like I wrote from "You pretender" on(except I'm not Janine).

Welcome. It is a caring and supportive community.

Good luck and I hope you find what you are looking for.

Joanna

[V M]

Hi Janine 

Welcome to Susan's    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Here's a few quick links to help you along

Please be sure to review

Things that you should read

Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By	Standard Terms & Definitions	Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)
Reputation rules	News posting & quoting guidelines	Photo, avatars, & signature images policy

Hugs

V M

[Sarah82]

Hi Janine, welcome to Susan's.
I felt much the same as you did, I felt like I was wearing a mask that everyone else could see behind. Things have got a lot easier since casting it aside.

I hope you find friends and support here as well as having a good time.

Hugs,
Sarah

[katrinaw]

Warm welcome to Susan's Janine

I can relate to your situation, and took it through marriage, kids and grandkids, but I must admit I struggled with the male bit all those years, really struggled.

Really tough turning that all over, but sooner or later you have too. I wish you well on your journey and look forward to seeing you around the forums

L Katy 

[Rachel]

Welcome to Susan's.

I too can relate to the struggle.

[Sandy74]

Welcome to the Forum Janine!

I also get that nagging feeling as well that I am just pretending to be a guy when in fact my soul is telling me that I am really a woman that needs to come out and express her self and being here is the closest feeling I have at being myself as the woman that I should be. The people here are so supportive and you can learn so much from the people that are here, they know what they are talking about and its a great place to be.