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Welcome to the world of female, Vanessa.
Yep, ERT can work a number on your emotions. That's okay. Enjoy them as a new experience. This is living.
How's your body temperature doing?
I have been hot-flashing since this past Saturday - no matter that I am inside the air conditioned Library, or grocery store, or elsewhere. Then when that passes, I go into the dry cold feelings - skin so cold, even at 100 degrees here at my home town. You go to your office where the men set the AC to freezing while we women must wear sweaters to keep warm. I commiserated that cold skin with other female co-workers at my former job. It's that female thing - no guys complain about hot flashes or being cold. You feel the skin of a woman and it is cold. Are you there yet? You will be.
And then there is the connected hyper sense of smell.
I was at jail visitation Saturday. There is a grim reality to this environment; yet I, ever the one looking to lighten the mood, had to make my remark as I exited that video visiting room. I good-naturedly commented to the guards something as, 'I smell a submarine sandwich - turkey, chicken, ham, roast beef. What is it?' I smelled the aroma of that sandwich. The guards in the lobby said they smelled nothing. I went to the guards behind the armour glass and asked about the sandwich as I enrolled for next week's visit. A guard behind the heavy glass in their sealed room confessed - he was eating a turkey sandwich. Ha! Those male guards were oblivious to what was obvious to me.
Your body scent will definitely change. You will surely notice your own self changing. Others around you - whether they know or not - will notice your new scent - especially other females. Some might compliment you. Your clothes will hold your new female scent and that is not necessarily a bad thing.
What you eat will taste differently - depending upon your established likes / dislikes that could be good or bad. Explore those new tastes and smells at the grocery store and spice department.
If you are romantically involved, well, um, your partner will notice all these changes about you - your smell, your taste, um...
Your new, sensitive anatomy can become sore if not protected from abrasive rubbing from your shirt. If you are presenting as male, you will do well to wear a soft cotton T-shirt or under-shirt to protect your sensitive areas. Once you present as female, wearing a bra will provide that protection. Enjoy the tingles and jolts.
My endo's initial prescription to me was all at once in the morning with breakfast. I did that at my start and was ill much of the time; he allowed me to scatter them equally throughout the day and I felt better. A few years into ERT I had a different endo and a different prescription - one lump-sum dosage in one pill - and it was back to being ill many mornings. The difference that second time was that I was now female full-time forever. My female co-workers recognised what I was experiencing, approached me on their own, and asked about my pregnancy, due date, and whether I was hoping for a boy or a girl. Hmm? They did not know my change but I suddenly realised why I was ill - it was 'morning sickness'. No wonder I had night-time dreams about being pregnant when I was ill; my body told my brain it had 'morning sickness' so my brain thought I was pregnant. Wow!
If you are on one large-dose pill, request your endo change it to smaller-dose pills and scatter them equally throughout your day to maintain your level. My generic low-cost prescription dissolves fine under my tongue.
You are at age 31, still young to have many years of enjoyment. My opinion holds that no one is too old to attain their identity goals. Certainly, your body has had half its lifetime making bad with the T and now you are trying to make nice with the E to overcome those years. Yep, those of us who began young have less accumulated T to attain our results. Changes will take time. Learn your options; discuss all options with your medical team - different ERT blends, pre-op options, pre-GCS surgery, etc. Take an active role in your course of treatment.
If all these things are not happening to you yet, well let this be a lesson of what lies ahead. You will come across them daily such that they will eventually become part of your new you. Nevertheless, enjoy them as you continue your life as female. It's a wonderfull experience!
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