Still struggling with feet

[Squircle]

Hi all,

So first the good news, I have my SRS in 6 weeks. I'm so excited about that. But one thing that getting the date did to me is bring all of my insecurities to the surface. Its like my brain (which hates me) is saying 'it doesn't matter what surgery you have, *insert body part here* will always be male'.

So, with me it's always been my feet. And legs to a certain extent. To clarify I'm about 5'8" and wear a size 8 UK womens size. The thing is though not all size 8s fit me because my feet are wide and chunky, and getting comfy shoes can be a real struggle. The look of them causes me extreme feelings of dysphoria, and I've developed a real problem over it. I'm convinced that they look so ridiculously masculine that they'll always give me away. The thing is that those close to me say they aren't a problem, that they don't stand out as being that big, but I just can't see it. They look far too big for my body to me, and it stops me from wearing the clothes I really want to.

So I'm looking for objective opinions (again... sorry!) to try and figure out where the truth lies. Please take a look at the photos and let me have it





PS I realise that many girls here have bigger feet, but it's the proportion and look of them that upsets me.

[AbbyDS74]

You have nothing to worry about IMO.

[kelly_aus]

We can tell you that your feet are fine until the cows come home - but if you don't believe it, we may as well be whistling Dixie..

[lemons]

No one else is noticing.  Especially if you're a UK size 8.  I wear a size 12-13 US women's.  There's not much I can do but take solace in that there are other women at a similar tall height as me (6 feet or over) that wear big shoes.

It's an irrational fear with nothing to back it up, plain and simple.

[Samantha C]

Squirclre,

Your feet look great I should wish for such,

I'm afraid I stuck at Woman's 13 which I have special order, and being 6'2"I'm going to order Finland Woman's hockey team shirt and that should end any questions or maybe roller derby.

Size 8 is great

[Sarah82]

  I am so jealous of your shoe size!
I have wide feet too but I take a size 12-13 Australian, so around 12.5+ in UK, 46+ Eur, 14 US...
One of the things that gave me the confidence to transition was finding a specialist shoe store for the podiatricly gifted.
From your photos though you have nothing to worry about.

I'm still jealous though

[Squircle]

Thanks to you all. I get that the number isn't all that big, it's just that anyone with the same shoe size seems to be taller than me, and they look, to my eyes, overly big for the rest of me. They are also thick, wide and muscly in a way that women's feet never are. So finding shoes with enough volume in them is tricky, especially when it comes to my toes, because the end of my foot is the widest part, and doesn't taper like women's feet do. If I go the size up they are too long on length so slip off my heel.

Hormones haven't changed them a bit, but I'm hoping that after srs there might be a slight thinning of muscle at least. I was thinking of taking up running, in the hope it might tone and slim my legs and feet a bit.

And yes I do realise that I have to make the change in my head. It's just been very upsetting for me, and I really struggle with it. My legs in general are quite big boned, especially compared to the rest of me.

[JoanneB]

You struggle with feet yet can find cute shoes in your size?

In my gigantor size 12 (US) shoe size there seems to be only but ugly shoes with a minimum of a 4" heel. At least in my affordable range. At 6ft tall to start with, 4" is past my limit. Three is my max. I also have fat feet plus add to that a very high arch being one of the lucky humans with extra bones in their feet. Yet another irony for this trans gal.

Me thinks your tootsies are OK

[Joanne Feliz]

I'm a woman's size 10.5 in the US. and I think prob 8.5 to 9 womans UK.

Not too many options for me either

[Squircle]

As I say, it's less the numerical shoe size that bothers me, more the look of them and how big they are in proportion to my height. I know a trans woman with size 10 uk feet and yet because they are slender and she is over 6 foot, they look more female than mine do.

That's why I put up the pictures, to get feedback on how they look. I want to be able to wear dresses but my confidence stops me and a lot of that is down to how self conscious I am about my legs and feet.

[KristinaM]

Nobody is looking at your feet...

[iKate]

You look fine especially with gladiator and strappy shoes.

I'm US size 8-9, very rarely a loose 10 and I'm 5'6". It's not an issue for me at all.

[cheryl reeves]

I wear a size 13 us in mens and women, I stand 6'1" and am flat footed and cannot wear heels except in boots, I wear sandals most of the time. So consider this your feet are fine, you could have been cursed with my ugly feet.

[allisonsteph]

Twenty years of selling women's shoes for a living tells me that the average woman's shoe size is a US 9. A UK 8/US 10 isn't unusual at all. I'm 5'7' with short legs (I am all torso) and wear a US 11.

[paula lesley]

Nobody is looking at your feet...

So true    So true    Stop worrying you look lovely

I'm a size 8/9 UK and I am house trained and have all my own teeth.
I just wear Doc-Martins or trainers, but then I am incredulously old 

Paula, <3 X.

[Emjay]

I think you look lovely, feet and all.

Congratulations on your upcoming SRS!  I'm jealous.

[Squircle]

Ok, thanks everyone. I will find a way to get this all clear in my head, it might just take me a while. I do seem to be calming down a bit from the emotional roller coaster I was on when arranging a date for surgery. When I get anxious or scared I tend to focus on the bad things, the bits that I think will always hold me back.

The truth is that my transition has gone well so far. I still hope for further changes, but if you'd shown old me a pic of how I look now I would have been pretty happy. It's strange how our standards and perceptions shift as things change.

I have a blog (link below) that I haven't updated in ages, but I'm going to put up a surgery diary, with daily thoughts and events. Hopefully some people might find it useful/interesting.

Again, thank you all for the replies 😊

[saraht123]

I think you look absolutely fine and your feet seem to be a standard size for a girl. Best wishes for your SRS!

[Kelly_1979]

Your feet are just fine. Congrats on going forward with SRS.

I can't even fathom what can I do with my EUR 48.5 (probably US women's 15-15.5?) feet.