Is this feisable?

[AlwaysLauren]

I made an appointment at a clinic to go in and discuss and possibly start HRT. I'm incredibly excited, but I'm also not sure how everything is going to work out. I'm 22, just graduated college and got a job after a long and difficult job hunt. I'm working for a pretty small company that is 95% male (the only women I've seen are receptionists/clerical types) and much older than me (by much older, I mean my boss is in his 70s). Given all this, I don't think transitioning on the job is possible or a good idea. What I'd like to do is stay where I am for a couple years, then move on, to a different job or graduate school, I'm not sure.

Is this possible or practical on HRT, or are the changes so fast and so dramatic that it will be impossible for me to stay where I am? I had a hell of a time finding this job, and since I just graduated I have no savings and some debt. What can I do?

[Kate]

Hiding breasts can become difficult after a number of months. And facial changes... I dunno, some people notice right away, and some never seem to notice much. When I finally told my coworkers at about four months HRT, two of them (out of 25 or so) said they already knew what I was doing, as they saw my features softening. BUT... they also both saw someone transition before, so they recognized the signs.

Still, maybe no one would care as long as you don't actually transition? You could keep your hair short and find some way to bind your chest. And many people seem to interpret the facial changes as being from weight loss or gain. The changes can be dramatic, but they ARE gradual, so people who see you every day may not notice that easily.

~Kate~

[AlwaysLauren]

Thanks for the response Kate,

Actually, I already have shoulder length hair that I keep up in a ponytail. It was one of the few things I felt I could do while I was in school. I think it would be a real drag to be completely transitioned everywhere but work, but I like that idea a whole lot more than being broke and unemployed.

[Kate]

Actually, I already have shoulder length hair that I keep up in a ponytail. It was one of the few things I felt I could do while I was in school.

That could get tricky then. As much as I whine about my looks and questionable passability, when I tie my hair back... I almost look MORE female somehow. It's like the hair being down sorta squares my face, where pulling it back shows the effects of the HRT more.

Still.. if these are people you see every day, it might not be a problem. But you might begin to find that new people coming in to your work just assume you're a female

~Kate~

[candifla]

hey Lauren, I'm exactly where you are. In fact, Monday, I'm going for my initial blood tests prior to HRT so I'm psyched.

Regarding transitioning on the job, when I started my job about 2 years ago, I started growing my hair long. It was slightly long boy length at first and then eventually, I got into wearing sunglasses to keep the hair up and now I just wear it in a ponytail. I've never let my hair down in two years at work.

No one asks, but if they do, I just say I want to look like the guys in Lord of the Rings, esp. Gandalf. They all had long hair.

Long hair, unless it's hazardous in your job, will probably not be an issue. I see rough and tumble guys with long hair everywhere I go. As long as you keep it clean, it should be fine.

During these past two years, I did all my facial hair removal and voice training, while establishing myself as a hard and dedicated worker. I don't play politics at work, I don't surf the net or use personal email, I just work and my boss knows it.

I think transitioning at work is helpful if your bosses value your work. If you can establish that respect and value, it might be easier.

Also, during this time prior to HRT, i've slowly trimmed my brows. Either no one wants to broach the topic, but my therapist tells me I look very female without makeup. I say tish tish and believe that I am still one of the guys, but, the trimmed brows have got to be a give away.

Anyways, depending on the job, if you're very skilled and work hard, you're an asset to your company, and in this day and age, I see a lot of workers slacking and abusing their computers and phone use.

Finally, I make no illusions as to whether they'll accept or reject me when I finally have to come out. I've made no major purchases such as new home or new car and have been saving cash like mad, so if I'm forced to leave, I'll be able to weather the time between jobs.

So yes, you can do it at work, but do as much as you can before the hormones. You'll want to get your finances in order as much as possible. Being in debt sucks, being in debt and trying to transition sucks even worse.

I'm opposite of Kate. I look more male with my hair up.

In the end, I think it's how you establish yourself at work. I would like to think that most bosses don't care about your personal sh*t, as long as you do your job. If you do it well, then that's a huge plus in their opinion.

********* ADDENDUM ***********
I'm not sure where you are with facial hair, but I would recommend getting that taken care of first before you do HRT. I have light facial hair, but it's taken almost a year to get it 85~90% cleared.

[cindianna_jones]

Candi has her act together. 

Cindi

[AlwaysLauren]

Candi has her act together. 

No kidding, thank you all for responding this is incredibly helpful. When I go in I'm bringing a list of questions I want to ask. Where to do hair removal and voice training are on the top of the list. I now have money and time, I can take a lot of things off the back burner.

Candi, I understand completely what you're saying about making yourself valuable at work. I haven't been working long, but I've made a point to never be late and work hard. I'm just afraid that won't be enough when push comes to shove.

As for the hair, I think it looks more feminine pulled back, but it's also far more neat. I realize that having long hair as a guy upsets some people, so I've made a point to keep it very neat.

[Annie Social]

I hid my transition for over a year after beginning HRT, but it wasn't easy. Actually, the hardest part wasn't physical at all; it was the psychological impact of, in essence, having to dress up in boy drag every day to go to work. When you are mentally a woman, chemically a woman, and increasingly physically a woman, it's tough denying who you are. Toward the end, I found myself outing myself in more and more small ways, hoping on some subconscious level to get "caught" so I'd have to come out.

[Keira]

Without hair removal, its possible to hide HRT effects much longer, possibly even forever if breasts are not too big.

But, without facial hair, forget about it past 6 months.
In my case, within 3 months I was able to go into women's restroom with nobody batting an eyelash (I'm 39).

Depending on dosage, it can go very fast at your age since the face already has much more fat than in an older person. I've seen people transition within months of starting HRT because they couldnt pass as male (but they had removed their facial hair).

[Ron]

Ok first of all, I'm a FTM, so my advice isn't going to be much use to you in terms of hormonal effects, but I thought I'd give my two cents on some other things anyway.

I am out everywhere except work. It is frustrating as hell because my name is very, very feminine, but I manage by being able to have short hair and essentially dress like a man without any of my colleagues giving it a second thought. It causes some problems when I go to the women's bathroom and I run into people I don't know, or when someone random walks into the office and says 'hey mate can you help?'. It makes me feel good, but I occasionally get a funny look from other people. I haven't come out due to personal reasons to do with my home life, but I'm sure I will in the near future (definitely when I start T as I won't have a choice XD).

In terms of binding your breasts to hide them (should yours grow big enough quickly enough to be a problem), I would be very, very careful. I have been binding for about a year, initially with bandages and now with a specially made one I ordered online. During this time I have noticed some changes in my breasts which I'm sure someone who was comfortable with them being there at all would not be happy with. They are not nearly as full as they used to be, are very saggy and one sticks out more to the side than usual (from my pushing them that way, I presume). For this reason I would be weary of starting HRT on the job if you're worried about not being able to hide.

That's my two cents.

[Annie Social]

Without hair removal, its possible to hide HRT effects much longer, possibly even forever if breasts are not too big.

But, without facial hair, forget about it past 6 months.

I don't know... I don't think most people are that observant. Perhaps if you were someone who always had a heavy 5 o'clock shadow by noon and suddenly there was none, people would notice, but I had several laser session early on and no one ever noticed as thing. Even my close friends made no comment.

I mean, it's not like your whole facial structure changes... unfortunately!

[Kate]

I don't know... I don't think most people are that observant. Perhaps if you were someone who always had a heavy 5 o'clock shadow by noon and suddenly there was none, people would notice, but I had several laser session early on and no one ever noticed as thing. Even my close friends made no comment.

I was pretty much done laser when I came out at work, and quite a few people (men mostly) told me they'd been wondering why I never had a beard shadow. Before that, the laser would occasionally nick my face up pretty bad, so I just told everyone I was having laser resurfacing of the skin to reduce acne scars.

Any chance you COULD come out Lauren? Risking a great job is an awful thing I know, but people may surprise you.

And... unfortunately, once you get the transition ball rolling, things have this nasty tendency to snowball. The NEED to transition often grows stronger and stronger as you move along. I was going out of my mind within a few months of HRT, desperate to come out and go fulltime.

~Kate~

[MeghanAndrews]

This whole thread has me seriously wondering about my transition timeline. I was asking the same questions you are Lauren. I figured I'd give myself 6-9 months before I had to come out at work, now I'm thinking maybe I need to prepare for a little less time, like 4-6 just to be on the safe side. I'm 38, I'm almost done laser and starting electrolysis and my hair is growing out. I keep making jokes with work people like "I'm just trying out a new look and I'm letting my hair grow really long" and things like that. I told them I was getting LHR to reduce the ingrown hairs on my face, which some people called me out on and said "what ingrown hairs?"

Lauren, I had some of the same fears as you did, but I realized that there's never really going to be a job where coming out isn't probably going to feel uncomfortable. I'm starting hormones in 2 days and I've approached my coming out as more a factor of how quickly the hormones work. I did a lot of pre-prep like Cindy did, cut my expenses way down, save money, and basically be in a situation where if it doesn't go well, I'm ok for a while. I strongly suggest getting that "worst case scenario" together so you are ready for it. I took a lot of time really exploring all of the possibilities with work, home, finances, etc. before I decided to go on hormones because the one thing I promised myself was I am not going to start and stop. I would rather have waited until I was in a position to handle a potential "worst case" than start and have to stop because I wasn't prepared for something, you know?

[Lisbeth]

No one asks, but if they do, I just say I want to look like the guys in Lord of the Rings, esp. Gandalf. They all had long hair.

I hope that doesn't include the beard and eyebrows.