What if you had the choice to be cis?

[Emily E]

I've thought about this once to a million times in my life and have wondered how my life would have been different if I had been born as a normal cis woman (to mean all the regular woman parts in place and accepted as a woman in open society and everything that comes with it) and if I could chose to go back and have that happen if I wanted to would I... up until I met my wife and got married and had my son I would have said YES in a heartbeat but now I would hesitate,  I know my wife would be ok with out me but I also know my son would never exist if I had been a woman and that makes me want to cry just thinking about it which shakes me back to reality he's such a good boy and I love him so very much I would never do anything that would harm him  so I guess I've come to far into this life to look back and want to change anything so now my answer would be a resounding NO

[Allison Wunderland]

Wait a sec ! ! !

Not being born a cis-F ? ? ? Would I wish I were born female?

Isn't that why we're all here in the first place?

[Tessa James]

This Place is populated by people who were/are female, male and intersex as identified at birth.  Where we go from there is endlessly interesting and diverse.  Some will clearly be transitioning and some may still long to have their wishes fulfilled.  As a child I secretly believed that some day I would magically become a girl and then a mom.

Speculation about what is hypothetical and fun may be one way to understand ourselves and our self image. 

[Rejennyrated]

I think may have answered this back in the mists of time... but I was pondering it yesterday and I hope, in considerable retrospect now, had I been given that choice, I would have turned it down flat - because this life I have lived and am living is so much more exciting and interesting.

Cis - pah! Boring, dull, conventional, limiting, unimaginative, none of which are descriptors of this life...

[Sharon Anne McC]

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(This was originally meant to post to the 'Phoney about your period' topic - but that was locked when I sought to post so here it is because the issues are similar.)

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I am amazed at the replies to two concurrent topics (See:  'Transsexual talk » Male to female transsexual talk (MTF) » Topic:  Feel a bit like a phoney when women talk to me about their periods...'); there are many 'Yes' replies and many 'No' replies at both sites.  I did not keep score, but I wonder with these two topics whether anyone commented here about missing the period experience while replying 'No' they would not want the full anatomy if it were possible.  I wonder as well the consistency of both.  Being in-between as inter-sex I so much wanted a real anatomy rather then my version being inoperably neither.  Seems humanity is cursed wanting what we can't have.

To those I'm not 'out', I learned to roll with their conversation.  Years of transition and post-op experience gives me enough comfort to have a sense of honest concern; this is not being 'phoney'.  After all, my ERT brought on morning sickness and night-time pregnancy dreams so I am not devoid of intimate female experience; I have my own real female experiences.  Not all females experience morning sickness during pregnancy.

I can also be honest whether or not I'm 'out' to other females.  I sometimes did say that I had an anatomical condition that resulted in the inability of menstruation and that is usually all I needed to say when asked directly to share a menstruation story.  That is not being 'phoney'.

At least when you got to menopause age and are not totally 'out', you can make the excuse not having a reason to comment yet still keep a supply of feminine products.  Post-ops will find feminine products usefull for yourself regardless of your lack of female menstruation.  You will dribble and perspire down there; they make added protection for your undies and clothing if you need more than just rolling up a length of toilet paper.

I mentioned to a couple M-F friends who are 'out' to keep a nominal courtesy supply of feminine products around the house, in the car, at work - that small act will endear them to their female friends and co-workers.

A few years living at my apartment during the 1980s saw a new landlady.  She had my residence file that showed my initial registration by a male (my male predecessor) yet the sole resident had only been a female (me).  I was not 'out' to her.  She was repeatedly trying to figure me; Was I him? she must have thought but never asked me.  One day as I was driving her around town on errands, she got nosey in my car, opened the glove compartment, and out spilled my courtesy supply of pads and tampons.  Looking at her surprised expression of continued confusion was worth it.

Jean24 and iKate, it is not a '50 year plan', it is now.  Organ regeneration (to some organs and tissue) has been scientific fact since at least the 1960s; I sought to implement the medical expertise to the Mullerian and Wolffian vestigial systems.  I presented my research for lab experiment and was flatly denied by two medical schools.

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[Lady Smith]

No, not for all the money in the world would I want to be cis.  Being stuck in a binary reality after knowing what it is to be two spirited would be like being put in prison.  I wasn't far enough along the intersex spectrum to be able to be pregnant and give birth and that does make me a little sad, but I guess I can live with that.

[MicheleGui]

That is a hard question...

In one hand, being born as a cis-female would mean no dysphoria, no need for a bunch of medical appointments and it would be absolutely easier considering I have a extremely religious and traditionalist family.

But then, as a kid I always liked "boy things". RC cars, kung fu movies, videigames. I believe that if I was born a girl I would have had many obstacles in my childhood. And if I had no issues with my family, maybe I would be as close minded as they are.

I would love to be born female, but I'm glad I wasn't.

[Kimberley Beauregard]

My answer is going to be brief, and no I wouldn't because in hindsight, it would be boring.

[Kylo]

No.

I am who I am, and resetting it might as well be the death of who I am.

[iKate]

The more I go into transition the more I realize that it's not enough. I always wanted to be a girlfriend, and later wife and mother, with kids that I carried. I always wanted the joy and pain of being pregnant as well as having that bond. I also wanted the anticipation of trying and then jumping for joy when I see the two lines on the stick. I missed out on my entire childhood as a girl instead having a miserable experience as a boy. Being a woman is so natural to me yet I can't have it all. It really really hurts me inside. I honestly hope that in another life if reincarnation exists that I can be a cis woman. It really isn't about physical stuff. It's about my inner being. Being a Trans woman isn't ideal for me but it sure is better than being a guy. That said its never going to be enough for me.

[Debra]

It's still a tough call.

I mean even after all these years, when other girls are talking about their periods or getting pregnant, I feel a sense of sadness. Other than that, being estranged from my parents still sucks pretty bad.

That being said, I've come to the conclusion that if I had grown up as a cis female, my life would be completely different. I wouldn't be working with computers, I might have been more popular in school, more comfortable with myself and my body. But I'm not sure I'd be the same loving person I am today. I'd probably be more like my little sister who got married at 18, divorced a few years later, and knocked up by another married man, moved in with my parents and lives off their income, trying to work as a janitor at the school. Not that that's all bad persay but in general, knowing my family's religious persuasions and judgements, I don't think I'd be a very good person.

And because I went through transition, it opened my mind.

It's tough to say though. It's all just a mind game of 'what ifs'.

[SofiN]

Right now this is an easy question for me as I'm still at the bottom of the transition ladder. I'd say yes in a heartbeat just so I could experience life from childhood as a girl like I am inside and not have a constant envy of other cis girls that don't have this problem.

I am not so sure if I'll still feel this way later down the line though, experiences could change everything. Who knows? That part excites me a little to be honest!

[CosmicJoke]

That's an interesting question. Sometimes I wonder if being born a cisgender female and being known as nothing but that my whole life would have made my life perfect, or if it just would've been trading one detrimental life problem for another.
I wonder if I actually would've appreciated my femininity and understood the value of it as a cisgender female. I think that most likely, I wouldn't have even thought of it that way.
There's cisgender females in many situations where they are being devalued, abused, or living submissive to a man and may be completely unaware of it.
I honestly feel that in alot of ways, being transgender gave me a much stronger sense of self that I may not have otherwise had.

[Jessynecessity]

Being transgender is the worst possible thing to be. I hate it. I've spent so much time crying, suicidal, lonely. I'd never be trans if I had the option. I didn't get that option, which is a source of much bitterness on my part. Bitter as hell. It's torture. Suicide was my only other option, so I guess I'm stuck transitioning.

[Galyo]

I would definitely choose to be cis woman. It seems to me that it would be much easier to fit in being a girl, than it is for a guy to be himself and fit in. Cis women can generally wear any type of clothing they like, while some people around me even think I'm crazy for wearing skinny jeans in public.

Guys with good fashion sense are definitely a bit of a taboo in our society, and I personally can't think of any type of typical male fashion that I like. Even things like suits, which a lot of people from both sexes seem to enjoy, I can't stand. I can't stand wearing them either.

Edit: Furthermore I also agree with Jessynecessity. The time I spend crying, being depressed and talking about transitioning I much rather spend being myself.