coming out before starting hormones?

[lucaluca]

hello,

i am not sure if i should come out now, or after i took the hormones for two or three month. at the moment i would like to come out right now, because i could start with the little changes, like wearing different clothe, don't "act" like a man, start shaving legs etc, the feel of beeing honest.
but on the other hand, i think maybe i am more comfortable with coming out, after i started hormones. maybe because i am already further in my transition and therefore more comfortable and self-conscious.

how have you done it?

hannah

[CarlyMcx]

Coming out is about preserving or improving your relationships with other people.

Not to sound callous or disrespectful, but if you are a hermit and live in a cave, then no need to come out because it does not matter.

With that in mind, you should really be thinking about your relationships with your parents, children, significant other, and friends and consider the effect of your transition on them in setting the timetable for coming out.

In my case, my wife is what matters most to me, and I told her the minute I was sure that I was transgender, long before starting therapy or hormones.

You have to evaluate your own life and set your own priorities.

[lucaluca]

i am 27 and the only people i would tell in the beginning of transition would be my parents, my sister and my best friend.
i don't know why, but i guess i would be more relaxed to come out after i am on hormones. but right now, i would like to come out, because i don't want to "act" no more. i don't want to hide, i want to start wearing different cloth, i want to shave, i want to be honest to the peole i love.

[Kellam]

I had initially planned on coming out a few months in to hrt. But every step I took toward transition was making me feel better and better. I also just desperately needed to end the life of the lie. So I came out to everyone I know over the course of a few weeks. A month later I started hrt. In the second week of hrt I started back at work, full time. It was awkward and difficult to be sure. But I was done with letting myself hurt. I didn't and don't have anyone in my life who relies on me beyond work so it was all me.

Looking back I can't believe I walked around like I looked but I felt amazing at the time. If you can put the rest of the wotld out of mind for a few months it is doable. I guess I used my powers of denial to keep me sane. People pointed, stared, whispered and and laughed. But I was living a truthful life. Also, having my friends and coworkers change the name and pronouns they used for me was of immense value.

It all meant that I didn't have to hide but it meant too that everyone could see. I think I am more confident and less socially anxious today as a result.

Everyone has a different process and for me it was fast at first. The rest has been slowly fading into the authentic me in full view of the world.

I for one have no regrets...

6:PM edit: i should mention that although I was full time I wore androgynous women's clothing. My hair was still very short and I have some hair loss so I bought a bunch of hats. As I felt more comfortable I would change little things. It has been a slow cumulative transition. Physically, socially, emotionally and culturally. But I have always been a learn on the fly and make tons of mistakes kind of gal.

[Martine A.]

The stuff that was in this post was just for the workplace. Hugs. It is gone now. Sorry for the noise.

[Lady_Oracle]

I came out to my mom and best friend before I started hrt. I was pretty selective as to who I came out to, like I didn't want to deal with people's opinions or whatever until I knew I was strong enough to handle it. My mom was the reason why I started hrt when I did, she gave me that extra push. So I'm really happy I came out to her first. By the time I came out to her I was already living part time and was 100% sure that this is what I needed to. There wasn't any push back or anyone convincing me not to transition. I came out to my dad a few months into hrt. My mom and I planned that out together since we were afraid he would react negatively but nope, he's been super supportive ever since. 

[Stevie]

 I came out  to my family and some people at work about 3 years ago some of them a year earlier. I also started  transitioning openly at about the same time. I had a lot of weight to lose before I felt I should start HRT so as I lost weight I changed my wardrobe from male to female, I was presenting as female full time for a little over a year before I started HRT in June. I didn't do it because of some real life experience requirement I did it to survive.

[Dena]

I came out about 3 years before starting HRT. It took me that long to connect with a doctor who would provide it and there was also a 400 mile move in order to find the doctor.

[lucaluca]

at first i would only come out to my parents, sister and my best friend. just because i don't want to hide any more. to all the others i would come out right before i go full time

[Sophieraven]

I'm Still new to this and i have found that as i told more people it gets easier to do. I'm not even close to HRT, and i'm still in the stage of doing alot of stuff in stealth mode.
Sophie

[Audietta]

For me coming out to the first person was the most scarry. It has also cost me the most: my partner. She wants the guy that I have been. Only after I came out could the girl and the suffering I have been hiding come to the surface. I have come out to quite a few more sense. It is the best thing I have done. I was locked in the shell of a person I was and am not. I can not yet transition full time because I have some other issues to resolve with my psychotherapist. But if I did not shave my complete body, do my nails, wear only girls underware, women's perfume, lipstick and lots of other stuff I think I would break. Dysphoria has been my teacher. To start you will feel better if you feel like you.





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