I Am Misstified.

[Lisbeth]

I really don't understand this.  It seems that pretty much nobody calls me maam.  It's always "miss."  I know I don't look that young.  I look middle-aged.  I've asked and friends have confirmed that.  So, what is this all about?  I'm mystified as to what these people are seeing.

[Kimberly]

Part of the definition of Miss is an unmarried woman; At a guess you are not traveling with a (male) companion, or children? -- That is my guess anyway.
But nothing more than a guess mind!
Sand in the wind...

[MeghanAndrews]

HI Lisbeth,
Just out of curiosity, have you noticed that people from different ages groups call you different things? Maybe there's a generational theme going on. I'm 38 and I always call people who are like 40 and up ma'am and people who are younger than that I don't call ma'am or miss I just say something like "can I help you?" You've got me thinking now, why do I do that? Hmmmm

[Lisbeth]

I haven't seen any patterns in this.  I swear some of the people who have done it look like they're 20 or more years younger than I am.  Granted, I haven't checked when I'm out alone with my 12 year old, but an example from about a week ago should be sufficient.  In a restaurant with my 18 yo son and my spouse.  The food gets delived and we are addressed as sir, maam, and miss.  I don't think he checked to see what kind of ring I was wearing.

[Kate]

I really don't understand this.  It seems that pretty much nobody calls me maam.  It's always "miss."  I know I don't look that young.  I look middle-aged.  I've asked and friends have confirmed that.  So, what is this all about?  I'm mystified as to what these people are seeing.

There's a different "feel" to the two terms. I think it's a reflection of what they see, but also how you "seem" to them. I hear miss mostly too, rarely a maam. Come to think of it though, I get maam'd on the phone WAY more than in person.

In fact, people who know me seem to instinctively call me "Miss Kate." It's weird, as it's not just on here, but coworkers do too. Dunno why, but I'm not complaining, lol.

~Miss Kate~

[Berliegh]

I really don't understand this.  It seems that pretty much nobody calls me maam.  It's always "miss."  I know I don't look that young.  I look middle-aged.  I've asked and friends have confirmed that.  So, what is this all about?  I'm mystified as to what these people are seeing.

Never been called either socially, only if I'm in an official place and then it's Miss...

Out and about guys call me 'love' or 'darlin'........and a lot of women call me 'love' as well....

those occasional observant people who read me address me with 'ello mate'.......lol

[Jaynatopia]

Miss seems more common now for middle aged and under in my own experience 

I really don't understand this.  It seems that pretty much nobody calls me maam.  It's always "miss."  I know I don't look that young.  I look middle-aged.  I've asked and friends have confirmed that.  So, what is this all about?  I'm mystified as to what these people are seeing.

[Ms Bev]

People called me ma'am most of the time, until, that is, I had my hair done by a beautician.  Now, I mostly get Miss, and only ocassionally Ma'am.
Who knows.

Bev

[Lisbeth]

Are you "mystified", "missified" or both? LOL

Count Your Blessings!

Both.

[Berliegh]

Are you "mystified", "missified" or both? LOL

Count Your Blessings!

Both.

I'm 'mystified' when I get called 'mate'....

[Lisbeth]

I'm 'mystified' when I get called 'mate'....

I wish I knew what to tell you, darlin'.

[Berliegh]

I'm 'mystified' when I get called 'mate'....

I wish I knew what to tell you, darlin'.

yea, it means I don't pass all of the time. Girls don't get called... 'mate'....it's very frustrating but it shows how observant some people are and I don't think I look particularly male...

[danielle_l]

kim you know i also thought that being called mate was a sign of someone treating you in the masculine, but since then i've seen so many boys call women mate, that im starting to think its not the case.

lots of guys say mate without thinking, if they aren't concentrating on you, its possible they are just saying it through repetition rather than gender recognition?

what im saying is that most of the time, they say 'mate' because they are addressing a male, but its not always the case..

[Kate]

lots of guys say mate without thinking, if they aren't concentrating on you, its possible they are just saying it through repetition rather than gender recognition?

what im saying is that most of the time, they say 'mate' because they are addressing a male, but its not always the case..

Right, exactly how "dude" is used around here. It's pretty much lost it's gender-association anymore. I've seen girls say, "Hey, dude!" to one another.

~Kate~

[Berliegh]

kim you know i also thought that being called mate was a sign of someone treating you in the masculine, but since then i've seen so many boys call women mate, that im starting to think its not the case.

lots of guys say mate without thinking, if they aren't concentrating on you, its possible they are just saying it through repetition rather than gender recognition?

what im saying is that most of the time, they say 'mate' because they are addressing a male, but its not always the case..

It would be nice to think that and have comfort in it.........but I'm not so sure..