Not Invited to a Work Gathering

[Wild Flower]

Nearly all my coworkers (except non-race including me) were invited to a go away party with associates that werent even that close, I guess I wasnt invited. I knew this guy for a year, he was like a manager, and it always greets me and talks to me in friendly terms, we are immediate coworkers. He invited someone, same rank as me, who hasnt even for more than a few weeks.... the hosting coworker was another coworker of mine.

These people may set up a go away party for me, out of politics since thats what they do... but I feel like telling them.

Im kind of hurt by it... not sure if its a race issue or not.

Opinions?



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[Dena]

There are any number of reasons you might have been excluded from the gathering. I had a similar experience at work. While everybody called on me to solve problems and I was on speaking terms with everybody, I was never included in the company grape vine. When my boss wanted something to be common knowledge, he would drop it in the grape vine and soon everybody knew about it except me. My boss wasn't aware of this until one day I said something and he got this strange look on his face when he realized I hadn't received and important bit of information. From then on, I alway received a personal delivery of grape vine information from my boss.

[Wild Flower]

There are any number of reasons you might have been excluded from the gathering. I had a similar experience at work. While everybody called on me to solve problems and I was on speaking terms with everybody, I was never included in the company grape vine. When my boss wanted something to be common knowledge, he would drop it in the grape vine and soon everybody knew about it except me. My boss wasn't aware of this until one day I said something and he got this strange look on his face when he realized I hadn't received and important bit of information. From then on, I alway received a personal delivery of grape vine information from my boss.

Hmm. It doesn't matter, I am going to leave the job soon (on good terms), and if I need them I am just going to keep peace about this, and not stir up needless drama due to the circumstance. But I was really hurt by this, but I chalk it up because they don't think "I hang". It was a bit of a drinking party. And I keep a professional image, and we're not exactly friends because I "keep" my barrier there with hierarchy.

And, yes, I believe race play a factor, because they invited that new guy. And if he wasn't his race, he wouldn't be invited.

[Aazhie]

Hmm. It doesn't matter, I am going to leave the job soon (on good terms), and if I need them I am just going to keep peace about this, and not stir up needless drama due to the circumstance. But I was really hurt by this, but I chalk it up because they don't think "I hang". It was a bit of a drinking party. And I keep a professional image, and we're not exactly friends because I "keep" my barrier there with hierarchy.

And, yes, I believe race play a factor, because they invited that new guy. And if he wasn't his race, he wouldn't be invited.

Bummer :/  I am not sure how to analyze, but I think you are picking the best route you can! Perhaps they are concerned you might not have fun with them if you are a bit more professional and do not seem the partying/wild type?  People actually get a little defensive about strange things like that... saying you don't drink often gets interpreted as "I'm better than you," especially if the person hearing it might already know they drink TOO much.  Misery love company but so do bad behaviors... a lot of people feel like the sober person is either judging them, or bored!  So personally I would like to choose that as the mature interpretation of the situation.  They are hiding their shame from you, regardless of whether you are actually judgemental about their behavior...

[Marioshroomed]

I knew this guy for a year, he was like a manager, and it always greets me and talks to me in friendly terms



so now you're calling people it?


well anyways best i can think of is to not dwell on it.  you didnt get invited so what?  life goes on.

i have never been invited to anything outside of family social gatherings likr july 4th, christmas.