Hi There is probably a thread already dedicated to this, but i couldnt find it so im making this one.
Ok so we obviously see a lot of people coming to this site who are not out for various reasons. Some don't intend too and thats fine. Some have other reasons that are outside of my knowledge range, too those i hope that you can eventually find a way. And others it can be more of a confidence issue. That was why it took me till the age of 32 to finally come out. (and i was born in 1979 so back in the 80's it was more difficult to be accepted).
Anyway i am thinking that sharing my coming out story. and maybe others who are willing to share theres too may help to give others the confidence in themselves to come out.
I knew from an early age that something was up. I didnt understand it back then but felt something wasnt right. I finally knew for sure by the time i was 18-19. I would cross dress at home when nobody was about. but this was not the easiest because i was secretly borrowing my mum and sisters clothes. I'm 5'10" and they are both barely over 5'.
Anyway years later at 31 i had (and still do have some depression) several breakdowns coupled with personality disorder, developed from bullying at school. So i decided to attend a therapy group which was 5 days a week for 12 months. During this time we did multipul different types of therapy including small group, large group, occupational therapy and art therapy.
Though i was making some good progress during this time i still couldnt pluck up the courage to bring up my gender dysphoria. Until finally i did something during art therapy one day that changed everything. During the session i secretly wrote the word Gender? on a piece of white paper, and made a thick black envelope to put it in. I then sealed it very well with tape. During the discussion later on i was repeatedly asked about the contents but refused to answer. However later in the day during the closing meeting with the whole group present, and everyone interested in the contents. i finally said it, i think i'm trans. This obviously got a few odd looks, but i felt great. Over the next few weeks bit by bit i started to talk about it. Eventually the floodgates opened and it was like i had been released from a prison in my own head.
Obviously at this point i had only talked about it with people nobody had seen me as my real self. Hell i having not crossdressed for a while due to not living with my parents, and not having access to female atire, didnt even know what my true self really looked like. So i decided to do something about it. i proceeded to order some clothing from amazon, and shopped for cosmetics at the local supermarket at midnight when nobody was around, I even brought a wig (i had short hair at the time). After some practice with the makeup (Ok a lot) i ventured out just up the street and back. Then to the shop. Then without telling anyone at the group i was going to do this, i decided to turn up fully dressed as the real me. I was late due too taking 2.5 hours to do my makeup (i wanted it to look perfect as i had never been with people i knew before) As i arrived i was so nervous i smoked 3 cigarettes chained outside the gates trying to pluck up the courage to go in. Then as i f by magic i saw another member coming down the street also late. And luckely it was someone i trusted implicitly. So i said hello as she approached me, but she simply said 'Yes what do you want' She hadnt even recognized who i was. Not as amazing as it sounds as she is visually impared to some degree. When i explained she was understandably a bit shocked but said that she would go into the group before me and explain. I sat in reception and waited eventually someone else came out and dragged me in. It actually went very well, a few nervous laughs but in general very well.
Soon after i came out to a close friend, who i was fairly sure wouldnt have an issue with it. Then she came along with me when i finally came out to my parents, which was arkward to say the least. Initially i didnt stay long i basically gave a brief explanation then left to allow it to sink in. And though my dad still has some issues with it they have both come around to the idea, even if not wholly supportive.
I phoned a few close friends to explain what was going on before changing my facebook account. This didnt go very well, not the telling close friends but the facebook bit. I changed my account coming out effectivly to everyone else i knew who i hadnt contacted prior. However i hadnt informed my parents i was going to do this. Resulting in a flood of phonecalls to them and a severe roasting for me (Fully deserved in this case, so be warned). i quickly posted a message to say please don't keep phoning them.
Anyway from there it was Genderclinic, full time, HRT and hopefully soon GRS.
I hope people find this helpful or at least had a good laugh at the rediculousness of it all. Good luck to anyone who is wanting to come out, i hope all goes well. xx
