Does a Therapist Poke You on the first Contact/Session?

[Martine A.]

I was just in touch with one therapist from the US.

Won't disclose details. But here is how I saw it... I felt like my short intro email was not even skimmed. Then the second one too. In both replies I got by then I was asked some of things that had already been disclosed in the previous email. Third email finally worked.

I kept my cool. But I felt like my nerves were being intentionally tested.

Is this usually the case with therapists, they push you?
It is sure not appreciated, but I better be ready if that is how it goes... like there is not enough stress already.

[Deborah]

I imagine it will be different with each therapist.  With my psychologist I found him on the Internet and called on the phone.  The phone call was about 10 min or so and he did ask questions, although I didn't consider them probing or intrusive.  Then I set an appointment for the following week in person.

During the appointment the questions were pretty probing but I was expecting that and would really have been disappointed if the whole thing had remained superficial. 

As much as I was paying I wanted to be sure that no psychological stone was unturned.


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[FTMax]

It sounds odd to me. I've used two online therapists in the past to get referrals. I've had my buttons pushed, but not in the same way.

The first I wrote a short message to, basically saying who I was/what I wanted/asking about her availability. She was slow to get back to me, but we scheduled a session. At the start of our session I reiterated what the purpose of therapy was for me (to get a referral), and answered whatever questions she asked. I don't want to say that she was bad at her job, it could be that I just really don't like to talk about myself. It really felt like pulling teeth working with her. Every little thing I said was nitpicked. After three sessions, she refused to even estimate when I would have a referral, so I fired her.

Next one was much better. He had a 5+ page biographical form that you filled out and sent back. First session was mostly clarifying questions based on the form, and what I wanted. We met 3 times and he wrote my referral. Very knowledgeable, affirming dude. Never once made me feel like I was being ignored or that I wasn't getting through to him.

Are you planning to work with this therapist online? Could it be that they just aren't used to email correspondence to get to know a patient (maybe their practice is predominantly in person sessions)?

[AnonyMs]

It sounds incompetent to me.

Being a therapist is a business, and the purpose is to earn a living. How are you supposed to do that if you are putting off the customers on the first contact. There's plenty of time to probe late once they are more committed.

From a therapy point of view people are often in an delicate state you're not helping your clients if your scare them off. Also incompetent.

[Martine A.]

My best guess that therapist either did not bother to actually read those few lines ~ in which I put effort not to take too much of their time ~ or they wanted me to go away. Maybe they had a bad day, but then it is a poor bad day management. Producing negative emotions before being paid to do so actually looks like all of it.

Are you planning to work with this therapist online? Could it be that they just aren't used to email correspondence to get to know a patient (maybe their practice is predominantly in person sessions)?

Thus said, not really, I will keep looking.

Meanwhile, I hope I just get a good therapist the regular way to work with in person.