Dying to be me

[iMarcella]

Hi, I'm Marcella. I just turned 27 last week and I'm so happy to have found this website. As a brief introduction, I'm still stuck as in a male body, but I'm a woman through and through. I struggled with my identity when I was 11. I remember banging my head inside a bathroom just to keep the thought of being gay came to my mind. Growing up, I realized that I'm not gay. It was a tough childhood. Then when I realized that I was not gay at all, that my depression came from not living the gender that I am inside.

Now, I've decided to start my transition despite being alone.

[Kylie1]

Marcella,
Welcome! and good for you!  You'll find all sorts of info and support here.  This is a warm friendly place with many lovely ladies and gentlemen that have gone through it all.   
xx

[Punzie]

Welcome to Susan's Marcella! You are so amazing for taking the initiative to start transitioning and being happy with yourself. By joining Susan's, I can promise you that you wont be alone through your journey. Everyone here is so kind and helpful, I'm positive you'll be able to find so much support! I wish you the greatest of success with your transition and may you have an amazing time discovering yourself.

[V M]

Hi Marcella 

Welcome to Susan's    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Here's a few quick links to help you along

Please be sure to review

Things that you should read

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Hugs

V M

[iMarcella]

Thank you so much. I'm happy to have finally acdepted everything. I'm hopeful

[Rachel]

Welcome to Susan's. Acceptance and getting started were the two toughest things for me.

[WomanLikeAStar]

Hi Marcella ,

I knew that I was a girl since the age of 4 . I have always been a gender non conforming child . I was as feminin as a young girl can be . Even though growing up in a conservative family I always tried to live my authentic self . I have struggled with two depressions caused by my transsexuality before I finally found the courage to tell my parents and to make the decision to transition . I am starting hormones in 5 days already and I can't express what a relief that is !
I never felt connection with gay guys either . I always knew that I wasn't gay but I didn't know how to define myself others than as a girl till the age of 15 . I am not even attracted to the slightest to gayish boys . I am a heterosexual woman who is attracted to straight alpha males . But to maintain stable relationships with straight guys we need to fully transition first and undergo GRS.
I am going to have mine done in Thailand in two years with doctor Chettawut.  One of the best surgeons in the world for Gender Reassignment Surgery .  Do you already know if you plan to undergo hormone therapy and / or GRS ?
If you really want to live as an effeminate gay guy maybe you could become a dragqueen ?
It is to be said that transition initially was found out for people who really , really face strong gender dysphoria due to being caught as a female soul and with female brains in a boys body .
Today , with medical science evoluating ,  people who are not mentally female can also choose the route transwomen choose . If that is smart ... That's another thing ...

Anyway ,
welcome and nice to meet you

[Galyo]

I know how you feel. Only last week did I have an appointment with my doctor where I told her I feel unhappy in a male body. I'm still struck with depression, and I feel like a fool for not going into transition sooner when my body was still going through puberty, but at least I know that whatever happens from this point on, things can only get better. You should feel the same. ^_^